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Post by Monday on Jun 14, 2006 18:54:55 GMT -5
((truly. this reminds me of a song i know...............lol...................truly scrupcous! of course we all know i'm probably spelling both of those words wrong.))
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Post by Thursday on Jun 14, 2006 18:55:26 GMT -5
((Yes you are))
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Post by Friday on Jun 14, 2006 18:56:35 GMT -5
((yup))
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Post by Monday on Jul 11, 2006 16:34:29 GMT -5
Okay guys, so here is the deal. I am so completly stuck on this freakin story it's not even funny. i'm sitting here looking back on what i've already written and i can't help but think how UNBELIVIBLY cheesy it all is. so what i'm going to do is that i'm going to go paragraph by paragraph posting it, and i want to here everyone's opinoins. and don't worry if you hurt my feelings, you won't. it's just been driving me crazy, and i need some back up here. don't actually change the story, just post what you think.
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Post by Monday on Jul 11, 2006 16:35:56 GMT -5
so here we go. this is the first paragraph. lol. try not to laugh to hard.
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Post by Monday on Jul 11, 2006 16:37:13 GMT -5
Chapter One Irei grew up with her loving parents, John and Isabel in a small town, in which their family grew crops for a living. She may have lived in a tight-nit community, but in the world of Neva (at least presently) there were thugs, murderers and all sorts of evils never even imagined on earth. There community had heard of the terrible atrocities all over there world and didn’t want there beautiful town to sucome to this so they stuck to the easy going life of farming. Like most people in her community, Irei had grown up with the fairy tail that if you were good at heart and helped others with their troubles than the Blue Princess of Neva would watch over and protect you, and punish the wrong doers. Of course, like all children eventually do, Irei disbelieved this tail more and more the older she grew, especially, when she constantly heard of the outbreak of violence happening all over the world. It is sad to say, though, that the truth would come to her attention in a bigger way than she would have ever wanted.
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Post by Wednesday on Jul 11, 2006 16:55:29 GMT -5
that one is fine
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Post by Thursday on Jul 11, 2006 17:19:34 GMT -5
great except for the gammar errors. Nice use of foreshadowing...
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Post by Monday on Jul 11, 2006 17:20:43 GMT -5
lol
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Post by Monday on Jul 11, 2006 17:21:04 GMT -5
ready for paragraph #2?
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Post by Thursday on Jul 11, 2006 17:21:54 GMT -5
((ready as I'll ever be..))
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Post by Monday on Jul 11, 2006 17:22:28 GMT -5
just by the way, you don't have to put the parinthases.
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Post by Monday on Jul 11, 2006 17:23:07 GMT -5
Irei awoke from her light slumber with the sound of dozens of beautiful birds, painted with a haze of light blue coloring, chirping a fanciful song. She could already tell today was going to be an exciting one. She hastily put on her favorite pink gown and went to brush her long golden hair, though there wasn’t much to be done with hair as curly and frizzed as hers… She looked over herself as she did every morning. She didn’t look half bad with her doe-like brown eyes and long slender legs. Guys might even have noticed her, if she would get her nose out of a book every once in a while. But she did not care what the others might say; she wanted someone who loved her for who she really was not some beautiful doll with a lovely voice, and no brain. She hurried to their quaint kitchen to have a quick breakfast before embarking on her journey to the sunny brook. She ignored her two older brothers’ conversation about the terrible crimes happening all over Neva. Darren was tall and muscular, and would have been quite handsome if he weren’t such a know-it-all, dimwitted, bully. (Actually, he was dating, and soon to be married to, the most intelligent girl in the entire city. Go figure.) Will on the other hand was a total sweat heart, when his older brother wasn’t around, but wasn’t nearly as handsome. In fact he was on the pudgy side in a matter of speaking. (He was just dumped by an all-in-all good girl, sad to say, but that’s life for yah!) Irei whisked away a peace of toast from the table and hurriedly walked toward the door.
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Post by Thursday on Jul 11, 2006 17:25:00 GMT -5
sounds familiar...and same save for the gramatical errors which annoy the crap out of me!!!!
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Post by Monday on Jul 12, 2006 14:58:24 GMT -5
“Where do you think you’re going off to in such a hurry, miss I’m to good for chores?” questioned Darren. “Yah, what’s the big rush?” continued Will. “Well if you must pry” answered Irei, with a smug grin on her rosy lips. “I’m going to the brook before mother has the time to give me chores.” But right when she laid her hand on the dull copper door-knob her mother walked in and halted her. “Irei you weren’t thinking about going out before you fed the chickens, were you?” “Of course not mother, how could I forget a chore that I have to do every single day.” She explains in an almost arrogant tone. “I was just about to go do that when you so rudely halted me.” “Oh, well then, where’s the chicken feed?” “Oh…uh I forgot to get it before I went outside. I’ll go get it now.” Irei started to turn her bright red face towards the door when she saw her two brothers with a taunting look on there faces, and felt annoyed at what had happened. Luckily, when she was leaving the room, she heard her mother tell them to help there father plow the wheat field, which was much worse of a chore to complete any day. Awe, sweet justice!
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