Back Up

[Monday]

a place to put all my stuff, just in case my computer crashes...

also, don't read any of this cus there's spoilers and what not. i put notes and reminders of plot stuff into my story while i'm writing it so i don't forget. lol

[Monday]

First Draft:
A Memory from a Dream

Chapter 1

Nicky Hughes reluctantly looked up from her book to stare at the man looming directly in front of her. Honestly, when she entered the small book shop that also happened to be the best place to find good poetry in town, she had no idea that Mr. Giddings would have the audacity to follow her in. It was obvious that the man had never read a decent piece of prose in his entire life, much less bothered to walk into a place selling such items.
“Nicole,” the man said in the same tight, commanding voice that had become far too familiar to her in the past couple of weeks. Would the wretched man never leave her be? “Will you please be reasonable for a moment? What I’m presenting you is an offer you will not receive more than once.”
Nicky shut her book with a little more force than necessary. “No, sir, I think it is you who should strive to be just a little more reasonable. And because you have already asked for my hand once this day, with a very adamant ‘no, thank you’ on my part, I might add, I can only assume that your marriage proposal is, in fact, meant to be offered more the once. And again, I will happily turn you down.”
“My lady,” he said, looking no more nonplused then he had five minutes ago, “do you not understand what it is you’re turning down? You will never receive a proposal of more than a thousand a year, especially with the sullen attitude you seem to constantly employ, and I’m about to guarantee you two thousand a year, and a villa in Surrey.”
She looked up at him in horror, her fist knotted on the cover of the book on her lap. “Are you daft?” Nicky hissed at him, with her usual habit of saying whatever thought came to her mind first. “I don’t even know you! Why on earth would I want to marry you and move all the way to Surrey, while I’m quite content here?”
The look he gave her made her feel as if the answer to that question should be obvious. And, in some ways, at least all the ones that mattered to society, he was quite right. She had lived in the same small town in Somersetshire where she was born for almost twenty three years and she wasn’t getting any younger. Her family made but a modest living in their small rural community, her mother having received a fair amount of her parents’ inheritance. Her father had a few cousins in London whom Nicky had never met, and her mother had only one older brother, her Uncle Horace.
However, Nicky was very much satisfied with the family she had, especially with her two elder sisters who never seemed to see an end in the torture they afflicted upon her as a small child. But now her sisters were long wed with families of their own. A very small part of Nicky mourned that future she would never have; a husband, children, and a home of her own. And all anybody seemed to want to think about was how an unmarried woman would inevitably prove to be a burden upon those left to care for her. But looking up at her potential suitor, she realized how worth it, it all was.
Having satisfactorily reassured herself that she was making the right decision, Nicky pursed her lips, and waited for Mr. Giddings departure.
“Fine,” he huffed, rather petulantly, “See if I can’t find a more even-tempered young lady who won’t jump at my offer.”
“You do that,” she said, hiding her smile behind her book, open and in front of her face, before he was even completely turned around.
Still, she would not risk looking up after she heard the tinkling of the bells over the shop door. Nicky had just about decided that the coast would be clear and that she could return home when she heard someone clear their throat from behind her.
She gave a startled jump before spinning around in her seat to see who it was. “No worries, dear,” smiled a pair of familiar blue-grey colored eyes. “He’s long gone by now.”
Despite the fact that she was looking into a long-loved and trusted face, Nicky had to wait till the thrumming of her heart slowed down enough for her to speak. “You know,” she said, grinning despite herself, “You are still fairly sneaky for one getting on in years. How old are you now? Fifty five?”
“Nicole!” the older man exclaimed in mock horror, “I am quite shocked that you could speak so ill of your own father. And I’ll have you know that I won’t be turning fifty five for several more months.”
Nicky stood up and entwined her arm in her father’s; her book clasped in her other hand. “Come now,” she said, giving him a gentle tug toward the door, “Let’s get you home before mother starts to fret.”
“Oh, let her worry. The old bat.”
Far from taking offense to her father’s rude comment, Nicky let out a quiet chuckle. Her parents squabbled back and forth, but she could see how their eyes shone at each other when they thought no one was looking. They were still as much in love now as they had been on their wedding day some thirty years ago. Nicky’s heart swelled in an odd mixture of awe and sadness, and wondered idly if they realized just what they had in each other.
They continued to stroll down the sprawling streets of a small sized town at high noon. Nicky enjoyed the leisurely walk from her family’s humble cottage to Barton and often made the trek once or twice a day.
If she was not walking or riding to town, she was reading or even practicing on her mother’s piano forte. She was the most musically inclined of her family, with the exception of her mother, who only played when one or two people were in her company and demurely brushed off any compliment aimed at getting her to play at a party or dance. Once, as a child, she had come upon her mother playing to herself, and Nicky thought she should never move again for it might easily break this beautiful, mystifying enchantment.
Though she could never hope to surpass her mother’s brilliance, her tireless practicing had started to come to fruition of late. In fact, it could possibly explain the large number of proposals she had been receiving recently. Three offers of marriage in two months! Any mother would call herself blessed to have a daughter so fortunate. And here she was, turning them away without the smallest sign of regret. Nicky’s biggest worry was that she would be an embarrassment to her mother, a spot of shame on what had here-to-for been an impeccable record of dignity. But if her mother did have any misgivings she was far too kind hearted to share them with Nicky.
Her thoughts often dwelled, with some sort of morbid curiosity, on what would become of her. If something were to happen to her father, heaven forbid, the estate and funds would not pass on to her or one of her sisters, but to a male relative, no matter how distant. She loathed the very institute but she had to accept that this was the way things were.
Living with one of her sisters was probably the most logical venture. Being of a very independent nature, however, Nicky did not like the idea of placing the burden of her poverty on another’s shoulders, especially a loved one. And for all the squabbling they went through as children, she still cared for both of them dearly.
They had been walking under the abundant shade of the maple trees, both in silent reflection, when her father suddenly spoke.
“I almost thought you’d accept this one, Nicole.” He smiled with a mischievous gleam in his eyes. “What made you decide against Mr. Giddings?”
Nicky knew he was simply teasing her, but she decided to play along and gave him a most appalled look. “Father, the man is a ninny! I could see myself happier with the groom!”
His forehead crinkled in supposed concentration. “You are referring to the one who often dribbles on himself when he sits in silence for too long, I presume. Let me see what I can arrange, as far as a proper meeting goes.”
She was first to relent from their silly game and let out a hearty laugh, bringing some color into her already lovely complexion. Her father smiled in return, happy to bring joy to his Nicole’s face. His youngest daughter’s brilliant smiles were becoming rarer in the last few months, and Mr. Hughes felt completely perplexed by the anomaly. Nicole had always been a happy child, somehow skipping the crazed teenage years of weeping at the drop of a hat that her elder sisters seemed to have charged right into. Obviously, he had the faintest bit of curiosity as to why she so forcefully tried to push away every suitor that ever presented himself to her. Though he had but little to offer in the way of a dowry, Nicole was obviously a beauty. She had her mother’s long raven hair and he had been told that her eyes, light blue to the point of almost appearing gray, were an exact copy of his.
Mr. Hughes supposed it was every father’s habit to think so highly of his offspring, but then again, he believed Nicole’s charm to greatly outweigh those of Victoria and Katherine. It took him a moment to realize that it was unfair to play favorites among his daughters.
“My dear, what is it that I can do to make you happy again?” Though the question was meant to be rhetoric, he noticed Nicole’s brow furrow ever so slightly, as if in actual concentration. She seemed as confused as he was about her own unhappiness.
But as quickly as her look of consternation had appeared, it was gone, replaced by another smile, though lacking some of its former brilliance. “I have no reason in the world to feel despondent father. I have a family that loves me, a charming place to come home to every day, and an ample supply of good literature. What more could a lady want?”
His daughter’s words rang true but her last question had an edge to it that Mr. Hughes could not explain. “Ah, and who is it that you’re trying to convince here, you or me?”
Nicole glanced at him with a mixture of awe and resentment. Obviously he had a knack for reading her that she did not approve of. A downside to having a calm, level-headed daughter was that it was often hard to get her to share her emotions when she didn’t want to. He could tell by the set of her shoulders that she was uncomfortable, and for the life of him, Mr. Hughes couldn’t figure out why.
“Come now child,” he said patting her tenderly on the cheek, “You know I meant no offense. As always, your mother and I only want what’s best for you and for you to be happy.”
She whispered back, almost unintelligibly, “What if the two are not the same thing?” Mr. Hughes stared at his daughter in silence, not knowing quite what to say about that. But once again, the almost sad expression flashed away from her too lovely eyes. “I’m just being silly, father,” Nicole teased, “Of course I know that.”
He almost believed her until he saw the blank expression she used to hide her emotions return to her features as she stared at the path in front of them.


Nicky had just read the same page of her book for the third time before she reluctantly admitted that her mind was everywhere but the misty Scottish hills portrayed so cleverly in her novel. There were times when she could sooth away the troubles of her heart by diving into to someone else’s world but now was not one of them.
In truth, she didn’t know what had come over her in these last few months. She was not herself, but another person entirely. Whenever she tried to pretend that nothing was amiss (either for herself or her family, she did not know), it seemed to make matters worse. Not to mention the fact that she wasn’t fooling anybody, especially her father.
If only she knew the cause for her behavior; the reason behind her cryptic words that made no sense to her or anyone else but seemed to just fall out of her mouth of their own accord. She recalled her conversation with her father of only a few hours ago and yet it still mystified her. Though she remembered her father’s words with perfect clarity, ‘…your mother and I only want what’s best for you and for you to be happy…’ it was her half-uttered reply that haunted her thoughts.
“What if the two are not the same thing?” Nicky spoke the question aloud as if hearing it again, and not just thinking it, would shed some light on the obscurity of the statement. But there was no such luck. Her father could not have been more confused about her remark then she was.
And it wasn’t simply the fact that she knew nothing about what her future held as far as were she would live and who would have the burden of supporting her financially, though that was enough to keep her mind turning late at night. No, there was this all encompassing ‘other’ that she had no name for, but still felt strongly none the less. Nicky knew deep in her heart that there was something missing, something essential, like breathing or eating. But for the life of her she was no closer to finding out what it was then the first day that she realized she was having these feelings.
She listened to the people outside her second floor bedroom window but could only here there murmured replies to one another’s questions over the soft pattering of rain against the glass. Despite the blurred images caused by the water running down the window pain, she could just make out the form of a town merchant she recognized. Though she couldn’t quite recall his name (Thomas or, possibly, Richard?), his physical form was one she clearly knew. He wore but an ordinary pair of trousers and a plane white shirt but the effect was extraordinary. The drenched fabric was visibly plastered to his well-defined arms and broad shoulders in a way that was quite pleasing to the eye. Nicky moistened her lips reflexively.
Could this finally be the answer to her woes? Was it possible that common lust was what stood in between her and inner tranquility? She laughed out loud. No, even if it were true she could never think so little of herself as to presume her melancholy was due to the lack of physical contact with men in her life. As scandalous as it was to ever admit to having such thoughts, she could picture the excitement of large, hot hands on her bare skin and soft lips commanding with a touch for her mouth to part. Unfortunately, as soon as the voice behind the enticing lips of any man she had ever known made an utterance, all thoughts of flesh against flesh vanished. Nicky was convinced that there was not a single man in the world who could woo her with his words. This was why she could never marry. The thought of fifty plus years with a man she did not love or, as in many cases, could not stand was ghastly.
As a carriage pulled up beside the men still at work bartering or whatever else it was that merchants did, Nicky suddenly recalled that the man with the muscular physique, Thomas/Richard, had recently been wed last spring. The carriage doors sprang open as soon as the vehicle had come to a halt and what was once a skinny, young, blonde rushed out as fast as she could. Indeed, the girl, though several years younger than Nicky, was forced to waddle because of her round, pregnant belly. The young man’s face lit up with what could only be described as pure joy at seeing his wife and soon-to-be child move toward him. They embraced, an act clearly full of love and comfort, and when they separated the expectant father reached down to caress his wife’s stomach. They both beamed absolute happiness.
Ahhh, Nicky thought to herself, so this must be it.
Maybe her perpetual sour mood was due to the inevitability of the fact that no husband also meant no children. Of course, she couldn’t have a child without a man to claim it. The disaster of such an occurrence, the shameful eyes of society on them forever, the impossibly difficult life of a home with no bread-winner, was painful to imagine. She was scared enough for her own future without pulling a defenseless baby into her mess of a situation. She didn’t bother considering the possibility even for a fraction of a second.
And yet… she still wanted it. A family. Not just the one she shared with her parents and sisters, but one that she could create with a partner. Now she was getting to the heart of the problem. It seemed that Nicky had read one too many sickeningly sweet love stories and the damage was apparently already done. She had convinced herself as a girl and, later, a young woman that marriage fell hand in hand with love, and vice versa. How could anyone blame her, what with the ample supply of novels thrust upon her and the apparent example of her parents’ blissful marriage? But she had been wrong. Oh, so wrong.
Her sisters were proof enough of that truth. They were both exceedingly happy, that was not to be mistaken. But they did not stare at their husbands with the same blissful love that reflected in their parents’ eyes. No, Mr. and Mrs. Hughes were the exception, most definitely not the rule. Who knew this better then Nicky, who had turned down three suitors in nearly as many months?
She sighed, a long one that could audibly be heard, as if by pushing out the air in her lungs this way, she would also be pushing out the woes of her heart. But she could still feel the pain, stuck just there in that hollow space in her chest. The experience was not a pleasant one. For not the first time in her life, she wished that men were not a necessity for her personal happiness.
For some reason, these words put into that precise order brought out a long forgotten memory from her childhood. Still, the sentence was one that had stuck with her at the time because, truthfully, she could not understand it.
When Nicky was around six years old, her mother had come down with a rather frightening illness. She was bed ridden for weeks, and what with her father running the estate, there was no one to look after her sister’s and her education. Though the governess was only with them for about a month or two as Mrs. Hughes recovered, the woman had obviously made a lasting impression on Nicky. She found it difficult to imagine the details of this particular memory, especially one from almost two decades ago, but Nicky managed.
She was searching for food in the kitchen, something she had been told not to do several times, so Nicole was purposefully sneaking around, trying to remain undiscovered. That’s when she heard the voice of Ms. Bailey speaking to a person she recognized as the cook.
“…see how you can move around constantly.” The cook was saying to Nicole’s governess, “Doesn’t it bother you to not settle down, have a family?”
Ms. Helena scoffed as if the idea was preposterous. “Certainly not! When one gets paid to satisfy her maternal instincts, men are not a necessity in any way. Besides, if I don’t like the children at one post, I can always find more amiable pupils elsewhere.”
She said all of this rather coldly, as if she were talking about animals and not children. Or perhaps Nicole only imagined this because just that morning, Ms. Helena had switched the back of her hand for reading instead of practicing her alphabet…
This punishment seemed ridiculously redundant to Nicky now, but no matter. She wasn’t forced to deal with the unkind woman for very long. At the time, she had found it strange that an unmarried woman could be this satisfied with her life. But now the idea of being a governess was not so disdainful. The very notion of the financial independence this would give her was rather tempting. Her place of work would more than likely provide her with somewhere to sleep and eat. Nicky had always adored looking after children and she was surprised the idea had not come to her sooner.
Still, there were quite a few obstacles to consider if she was willing to fully commit to this idea. Though her family was not rich by any means, being a working class woman with no intention of marrying was obviously a step down from where she was in the world now. Not that she cared a wit for such trifles. Nicky only wondered what her family would think, and whether or not her parents would approve.
Then there was the whole matter of actually finding a place to work. She had absolutely no experience with such matters and, honestly, the idea of moving entire counties away from her family to live with complete strangers was terrifying. And she had no idea if she would actually make a good governess, despite the fact that she had been very well educated herself. Knowing and teaching where two very different things.
But as far as Nicky could tell, remaining where she was now was far from a solution. And though the idea might frighten her, she truly believed deep within her that she would find some sort of satisfaction from such an occupation, especially if done well. For the first time in months, Nicky felt a glimmer of hope at seeing herself happy again in the near future.

~*~*~*~

“What has he done now, Martha?” Bracken Campbell leaned back in his office chair, his right hand held over his eyes while he rubbed his temples, as if to block out the sight of his housekeeper standing at the doorway to his office. Not that he didn’t approve of the lady herself. Quite to the contrary, the poor woman had kept him sane in these particularly trying last few weeks. But the fact of the matter was, that Ms. White wasn’t as young as she once was and really wasn’t capable of taking care of someone with as… rambunctious a personality as Sebastian. Honestly, she was a saint for putting up with him for this long.
“Sir,” she said, dipping in the most dignified curtsey Bracken had ever seen anyone perform, “your charge seems to have tracked mud all over the freshly mopped entrance way, and I thought you might want to intervene before Stevens decides to hurt the poor boy.”
“Maybe he could use a good knocking,” Mr. Campbell grumbled in true Scottish fashion. He may have been born and raised English, but his father’s highlander blood still coursed through his veins and revealed itself in his features. Bracken had his father’s wide shoulders, strong arms, and handsome facial features, though the gentleman would never own to it. His mother always said how he was an exact copy of his father before him, at least in look. It was too bad the man had never stuck around long enough to see for himself…
“I beg your pardon, sir?” Ms. White looked quite taken aback by his statement.
“A joke, Martha. Just a joke,” he assured her. He sat up from his comfortable office chair to deal with poor Sebastian. Bracken knew in his heart of hearts that he could never do the boy any actual harm, though it seemed Sebastian was more than willing to test the limits of his self-control. Ms. White followed in his wake as he paced down the hall.
“I don’t mean to nag, sir,” Martha began after a moment’s silence, “but have you had a chance to look at the list of governesses I left on your desk?”
Bracken let out a nearly imperceptible sigh. “I’ve had a lot on my plate this last month,” he hedged. “But I will get to it.” Though the good lady remained silent he could feel her disapproval hanging in the air. He was bemused by the realization that Ms. White’s opinion of him still meant as much to him now as it did when he was a boy.
The truth of it was that, while he had indeed been quite busy of late, what with all the legal matters surrounding Sebastian, the added work load that came with building upon his business, and a reputation to cultivate (the last being the most unfortunate of his duties), Bracken had specifically been avoiding looking at the list Ms. White had provided for him over a week ago. Once it had been made clear that the boy had quite a volatile nature, and that there was no way Martha could keep up with him, no matter how much she cared for him, she had taken the initiative to find several applicants for a governess position.
And it wasn’t as if he couldn’t afford to hire any of the women Martha had suggested. Or that none of them were well qualified enough to take on the job. To put it simply, Bracken loathed the idea of a stranger taking charge of his own flesh and blood. He wanted to take on the job himself, would be glad to have it, but this simply wasn’t feasible with where Bracken was at in his life right now. Under normal circumstances he would have found a wife, a partner, someone he could trust with their children before he had any. But life could be quite cruel at times and he was left with a child that was not his own and became a widower without ever taking a wife.
His fist clenched in frustration and his chest tightened with the thought of just what he had lost. A most beloved sister, his Caroline, the lass that protected him and loved him when their mother was no longer capable of it herself. What he wouldn’t give to bring her back. The only way Bracken could think to thank her for all those years of nurturing him was to look after her only son, just barely eight years of age. If only he knew how to heal the heart break in Sebastian that he couldn’t even heal in himself…
He came upon the boy then, noting that Stevens the butler just sat glowering in Sebastian’s direction from the corner. The child himself looked non-to-pleased, with his arms crossed huffily over his chest and an expression on his face so close to one Caroline would wear when she was displeased, that Bracken was torn between wanting to laugh and weep at the same time. Bracken could clearly see the muddy foot prints ranging far and wide about the entry way and the remains still caked on the suspect in question’s shoes.
“Well,” said Bracken with a sigh, “would you care to explain yourself, Sebastian? You knew that Mr. Stevens had just mopped the floor this morning.” Sebastian continued to stare at the ground just in front of his feet, with no visible intention of replying.
“I see. Well then, I suppose you will just have to apologize to Mr. Stevens and clean up the mess you made. If it happens again, you can be sure to mop the entire house instead of just the entrance.”
His eyes flashed up to meet Bracken’s at that, with a fiery glint in them that was surprising for him to see in someone so young. “You aren’t my father; you can’t boss me around.”
Bracken forced a smile across his face. “I’m afraid you’re only half right, Sebastian. Now do as I say or I’ll be forced to take a belt to your arse.” He could still remember the sting of the leather across the soft muscle of his backside he had received when he had brought a street dog home and let him loose in the kitchen. He must have been just about Sebastian’s age, but he could still remember the look of mingled furry and amusement on his mother’s face. The occasion was the first, but certainly not the last for him to do something stupid enough to get his gentle mother angry. This time Bracken smiled in genuine.
Though Sebastian’s words were surely meant to sound brave, they came out with a bit of a tremble. “I’m not afraid of you.”
“Oh, aye? Well then, how does going to bed without supper sound to you, lad?” True to his heritage, the boy was more terrified of losing his dinner then almost anything else. He grudgingly got up and walked over to Stevens, and after a few stiff sentences, the man was patting Sebastian on the shoulder and offering up his forgiveness.
That was one minor crisis avoided, he thought, but Bracken could foresee much greater conflicts arising if he didn’t do something to stem the flow of hostility emanating from the troubled boy. He needed a governess that was stern enough to not let Sebastian walk all over them, but nice enough to not berate and abuse the child. However, the mere thought of all those applications awaiting him on his desk gave him a headache. How on earth was he to gain a grasp on each individual from a small sheet of paper?
An idea struck him, and he quickly turned to Martha who was just leaving with Sebastian to show him wear a mop and bucket could be found.
“Mrs. White, could I have a word one moment?” She motioned for Sebastian to stay where he was and walked swiftly to Bracken’s side.
“What is it that you need, sir?” she asked, looking a bit flustered. She didn’t like being interrupted in the middle of a task.
“I’ve come to a decision concerning the issue with the governesses.”
Her eyes seemed to brighten up at that, and Bracken continued. “If you would please send a letter to all interested applicants that there will be an interview for the job in exactly two weeks time. Their travel expenses will be paid for by us, but they must find their own lodgings for at least a night.”
“Are you serious, sir?” she asked, looking taken aback. When Bracken nodded in reply she merely sighed and said, “I guess I expected you to decide something like this. Never could make up your mind the normal way. And who do you except to be doing the interviewing, then?”
“Why, you and I, of course.”
“Of course,” she added sarcastically. She turned around already moving on to the chore at hand. “Come along, Sebastian, before I say something rather undignified to your uncle.”

[Monday]

Chapter 2

Nicky looked out the bedroom window of the inn she was to stay at for the next couple of days `in utter amazement. As she tried desperately to take in the chaos that was the sprawling streets of London below her, she realized for the first time that maybe she had been a bit sheltered as a child. Never before in her life had she visited a city this large before and the picture was something to behold, if it was not a tad bit overwhelming.
The streets themselves were cobbled and filthy, though this was hard to make out with the number of people and carriages strewn about the place in a bedlam. The ladies of fortune looked down from their lofty seats aboard their carriages and curricles, some with noses stuck up at the passing commoners on foot. Women wearing sturdy looking bodices with strong, pragmatically stitched seems weaved in and out of stores and shops, getting about the business of the day. Many had small children in tow, somehow managing to carry all of their goods in one hand and clasping the child’s tiny palm in the other.
Likewise, the class of the men was easily distinguishable. The few gentlemen that passed by on foot and not in a carriage, wore perfectly tailored coats, had their collar points at a stifling height, and wore rather expensive (yet ridiculous looking) hats. Nicky had no idea that London housed quite so many dandies! The working class men, however, wore very sensible breeches, second-hand coats, and very rarely a hat at all.
But it was not the various hues of fashion and class that had Nicky trying to catch her breath. She was safe in her room away from the hustle and bustle bellow her, but she couldn’t hide the terror in her heart that she had at living in such a city. Or was it the dramatic changes that her life had undergone in such a short amount of time that was frightening her? It wasn’t simply the fact that London was so entirely a different world then the only one she had ever experienced; this she could handle with ease on any ordinary day.
However, the fact that she had only enough money to pay for her room and board for the next few days and a little left over to pay for a cab to and from the home she was to be interviewed at was making her a little light headed. And there was the idea that she could very well not get the position she was applying for and really hadn’t formed any sort of backup plan as of yet. Not to mention the awkward almost painful experience of telling her parents just what she intended. But looking back, she realized it could have been much worse.
“There’s nothing to be nervous about what-so-ever.” Nicky had been trying, and not very successfully, the last few days to convince herself that this was true. She had not the slightest clue as to how her parents would react upon hearing that she wanted to give up marriage and children to take on someone else’s responsibilities. But her expectations were not high.
And being surprised by her father when her mind was a million miles away did not make her situation any better. “What is there to be nervous about dear?” The man in question spoke almost absently as he rummaged through a nearby drawer in their parlor.
Though their house was a tad bit on the small side, every room was elegantly furnished and maintained with fittings and relics dating back from generations ago on both sides. Nicky could name the story behind each of the familiar objects as if they were old friends. Often times just seeing and being surrounded by them provided some odd sort of comfort to her, but they were not enough to quell the range of emotions ravaging her this day.
She traced the pattern on the chair in front of her as if there really was nothing to be nervous about. Mid 1700’s, French, a wedding gift to her great grandmother on her father’s side, Nicky recited to herself as her finger tip circled the floral pattern. Miraculously, she could feel herself start to relax. She couldn’t, didn’t want too, shake the comfort of being surrounded by something so familiar and cherished. And here she was, ready to try and convince her father to let her move to some other home, an unfamiliar place and family, away from everything she had ever known. She would say she had lost her mind if the idea didn’t make her almost giddy with excitement.
“Father,” she began, her nervousness returning to her full force in an instant. “Do you remember the other day when you noticed my recent melancholy and wished for me to find an end to it?”
His eyes flashed up to hers in curiously. “Of course Nicole, why do you ask?”
“Well I think I’ve found a new sort of… hobby that will undoubtedly improve my mood,” she said as her gaze returned to her fingers circling the tiny flower pedals on the arm rest. She glanced up at him briefly and didn’t know if she was more surprised or annoyed to see an amused look on his face.
“And by hobby I presume that you mean you’ve found a nice young man to talk too.” It wasn’t really a question and Nicky had to frown to keep from smiling. Her father had always just assumed that she’d run into Mr. Right one of these days. But he wasn’t out there and Nicky had no more interest in continuing a search.
“Um, well, not exactly, father.” She kept eye contact now, to better judge his reaction, “You see, I want to get a position as a governess. In London.”
Now it was her father’s turn to look shocked. “A governess? Why, whatever for? We are not so destitute as to have you work as a servant in someone else’s house to earn meager wages!”
“It is not about the money, father. Now, I know this may come as a bit of a shock to you, but I have no desire to get married. However, it is my love of children that lead me to make this decision, and I hope you can understand why I’m doing this. It is meant as no disrespect to you or mother.” She spoke as calmly as she could and did a passable job of seeming as relaxed as possible. In all honesty, once she was in the midst of a challenge she could quite easily remain level-headed and efficient. It was the waiting before the conflict that always had her stomach in knots.
Her father seemed to calm down a bit, but he still looked more than a little confused. “I’m trying to understand, dear, but this seems to be all a bit out of the blue. How long have you thought about this?”
“Long enough, father,” she said jutting her chin up a bit with confidence. Nicky could tell that she was starting to sway him. “You know I am not one to make up my mind about something without giving it just thought first. I know what I want, and for some reason this feels very right to me. I just know I’ll find happiness in this way.”
After gazing at his youngest and albeit favorite daughter for a few seconds he let out a sigh and relented. “Well I suppose I have to let you go, when you put it that way, you little sneak.” Nicky knew he was only joking, though, as he smiled at her and opened his arms wide to receive a hug. “But you still have to explain all this to your mother, Nicole.”
Nicky just smiled as she made her way across the room, “I already did. She’s known my mind for a week now.”
“Of course she has. Just one more question, dear? Why London?”
Nicky thoughts focused back on the present as she pondered the same question. Why had she decided to go to London to find employ? She had told her father that it was the best place to look for her first position, which was more than likely true, but the thought never even occurred to her until she realized her father was expecting a reason that wasn’t completely nonsensical. Or was the excuse ‘I just had a good feeling about London’ more crazy than illogical?
Whatever the reason, she was here now and it was pointless to dwell on questions she had no answers to. She turned away from the busy streets below her and tried to think of how a proper governess would dress and came up blank.

~*~*~*~

Bracken sighed as Mrs. White led their eighth applicant out of the room with a promise to contact her soon if she received the position. The day had been a long one, and though many of the ladies they had interviewed thus far seemed well qualified for the job, none of them had particularly struck him as perfect for it. He supposed that such a quality was highly unlikely to surface in anyone who sought the position, even if he interviewed a hundred women, shutter the thought.
Whatever had possessed him to willingly take up the post of finding Sebastian a suitable governess, was completely beyond him. Of course, he could be cross about it now, after having such a trifling time about it. But more likely than not, he would find it to be all worth it in a few days after plenty of time to recover from such an assault on his nerves as these ladies had proved to be.
Truth be told, many of the potential governesses were quite frightening to behold. And he was a grown man, quite in possession of his good senses! He couldn’t very well have someone who smelled of spirits and believed all little boys to be rotten to the core with the only cure being to have the sense literally beat into them take charge of his eight-year-old nephew. However a person like that had even made it so far as to be interviewed was beyond him.
By the time Mrs. White had returned with the ninth applicant of the day, Bracken had resigned himself to just take the best of what he had before him and if things didn’t work out between the lady and Sebastian, he would solve that problem when he came to it.
Bracken stood as the two ladies entered the room. “May I introduce a Miss Nicole Hughes,” said Mrs. White just as she had pronounced eight other times that day with eight other names. “Miss Hughes, the head of the house, Mr. Campbell.” The woman really was a saint, Bracken thought, for putting up with all the frivolities of some of the ladies they had seen today, a few of whom didn’t appreciate being questioned and judged by a lady they saw as below their own class. But Mrs. White’s heart was too involved with the boy that was Bracken’s charge to let anyone but the best take care of him, even if that meant sitting through some rather painful interviews.
Fortunately, Miss Hughes seemed to have no such compunction against Mrs. White and even smiled demurely at her after she performed a delicate curtsy upon her introduction. The young woman then glanced up at Bracken and he couldn’t help but feel something akin to recognition although not quite that.
“Pleased to meet you,” replied Bracken politely and gestured for her to take her seat. He knew that he had never met her before, for how could he forget someone with as striking an image as she? A woman with such a pleasing figure and ink black curls would be hardly forgotten by any man. But it was her face, and particularly her eyes that arrested him. They were both gorgeous and intelligent and Bracken couldn’t help himself from thinking once again, familiar.
Though the gentleman didn’t take care to notice the unsuitable amount of time it took for him to take in her appearance, Mrs. White thankfully did. It wasn’t until she cleared her throat, not once, but twice, that Bracken was able to remember himself.
“Please forgive me, Miss Hughes, but it seemed to me as if we might have met on some prior occasion?” Bracken had not meant to ask but after finding himself quite embarrassed, he felt it necessary to make some excuse, however ridiculous sounding it may be.
The woman in question’s brow furrowed ever so slightly, but it was obvious that she did not recognize him in the slightest, and Bracken felt more the fool. “I am not quite certain, sir. I have never been to town before, but perhaps you have had occasion to visit my home county of Somersetshire?”
Bracken shook his head in reply and banished the notion altogether. There were many ladies of his acquaintance who looked similar to Miss Hughes. He glanced down at her information and was unsurprised, considering her obvious youth, to see she had little experience other than caring for a couple of nieces and nephews for a few months. What he did find surprising was the fact that she had come from a respectable family and, though only boasting a very modest budget, could expect a fairly decent marriage proposal with her obvious beauty. Perhaps her family’s financial states were not as good as her modesty would allow admitting on her application? But all that was none of his concern and he set about to the task at hand.
“We have but a few questions to ask of you, Miss Hughes, and nothing that should prove to be too taxing, I hope.” She nodded calmly in reply, so he continued. “What induced you, in the first place, to apply for this position?”
As she was thinking of her response, Bracken could almost imagine hearing what she would say. It would follow along the same lines as what most of the applicants had said, and was nothing but to be expected. The proper procedure, it seemed, was to exclaim at the brilliance of the family’s good name and what an honor and privilege it would be to work for such a gentleman as himself. However, Bracken had the trouble of being caught off- guard once again.
“I believe it was the circumstance surrounding the young boy that most caught my attention. To lose one so close to your heart and at such a young age… Well, it is a tragedy that no one should have to endure. But I thought if I might try to help him somehow, that would be a great pleasure.”
Bracken was just glad to be thinking clearly enough as to not have his mouth hanging agape after such a speech as that. Mrs. White, on the other hand, was on the verge of tears, in admiration of the young woman, no doubt. Finally, he cleared his throat. He would not be won over by such an emotional response, however unique it was, for obviously it was tactfully done to secure her job. His face must have given something away of his irritation, because before he could move on, Miss Hughes was apologizing profusely for such an insensitive statement, that she had only been thinking of the boy’s pain upon her reply, and thoughtlessly overlooked the hurt he himself must share in it as well. Indeed, she was flushed with embarrassment and her words seemed quite sincere.
“It is no matter at all, Miss Hughes,” Bracken assured her, though he wasn’t quite certain he could believe her earnestness completely as of yet. At this they heard a rather large crash from bellow and Bracken could only think of one cause for it. He was about to go find out what was the matter, when Mrs. White gestured for him to stay seated.
“I’ll see too it, sir,” she said standing up. As she exited the room, Bracken decided that the best route would just be to move forward before this day could get any worse.
When he looked back at Miss Hughes, he was pleased to see that she did not look too distressed at the mysterious commotion, more worried than anything. She would need steady nerves for this job. On that thought, he charged right into the next question. “What experience do you have with caring for children?”
Her mouth set in a way that Bracken knew she was trying to find just the right way to word her answer this time, as if she didn’t mean to embarrass herself again. Either she was a very good actress or she really was in earnest when she had spoken of Sebastian earlier…
Finally, she said, “Unfortunately, I have never had the duty of being someone’s governess before, but I have watched over my eldest sister’s two children before several times, and I believe those occasions went quite well. Indeed, my sister said that she’d gladly let me take them home with me.” Miss Hughes snapped her mouth shut after getting out one short, nervous laugh. She looked quite mortified at this point.
However, Bracken was quite enjoying himself. He got the impression that Miss Hughes was the type of woman who was seldom put in a situation where speaking her mind could be considered an impertinence. Of course, he could explain to her that he valued her honesty far more then the laws of propriety but the anxious look on her face was endlessly diverting. The longer he continued to stare at her, the more she seemed to fret, and Bracken found it hard to imagine why she could be this nervous.
After a long pause between them, Miss Hughes spoke again. “Of course, she was only joking sir. My sister didn’t really want me to take her children away…” She trailed off at the end rather awkwardly. Bracken tried to keep the smile of amusement off his face.
It was not fair to treat such an obviously sincere lady as such so Bracken decided to end her torment. “Miss Hughes?”
“Yes?” she replied faintly.
“Are you quite alright?”
Her fair cheeks turned rosy once again and Bracken could easily admit that the color looked quite lovely on her. “Yes, sir. I’m just a little bit nervous, I suppose. I can’t seem to make myself stop saying the most impertinent things.”
“If I may enquire, why are you so anxious?”
Her face went blank. “Isn’t everyone this way when they are being questioned by you?”
Bracken chuckled softly. If nothing else, what she said always managed to surprise him. “Not usually. But then again, ‘everyone’ tends to stick to some manufactured script according to what they think I’ll like to hear most. It’s… refreshing to hear someone actually answer my questions truthfully.”
Miss Hughes sort of half smiled bemusedly. “I’m glad I could be of service to you, sir.” Her reply had an almost ironic tone to it. Bracken smiled again.
Then he remembered the way she had phrased something in one of her last statements. He leaned forward slowly and she reacted automatically by doing the same, as if they were in some secret conference. “And what exactly did you mean when you said ‘being questioned by you’? Is there something about my person that you find particularly distressing?”
“Well, I… what I meant to say was…” Her face seemed suddenly very close to his.
“Yes?” he urged her on, glancing down at her appealingly full lips.
“That you intimidate me a great deal… I suppose.” She blinked twice the tips of her dark eyelashes just brushing her cheeks.
“Just one last question,” he almost whispered, “and I’ll release you.” Bracken said this in a nearly literal sense as his gaze seemed to be fixed on her clear grey eyes. “Why is it that you chose to be a governess at all?”
Later, Bracken would ask himself why he had asked this, as it had just popped in his head at the time. He would tell himself that pure curiosity had spurred him to enquire why a gentleman’s daughter would take up such a position. But he honestly knew that his true motive was to understand why such a lady would not be married yet. Whatever the reason behind the question, she certainly gave him an answer, and to credit the lady, it was one that surprised him yet again.
Miss Hughes straitened up in her seat, the cloud of fogginess that had moments ago been written on her face fleeting. She replied almost dully, “There are very few options, it seems, for a woman of small fortune who does not wish to marry.”

A little while later, as Bracken glanced outside of his office window to see Miss Hughes being handed into a chase, he couldn’t help the shudder that ran through him. The last half hour that he had spent with the young lady had seemed oddly surreal. He tried to reason with himself that it had just been his reaction to the fatigue that had made him feel so strange but he couldn’t help himself from wanting to blame the woman specifically.
Why had he felt like kissing her, someone who was an almost perfect stranger? Had he simply imagined the energy between them? And the worst of it was Miss Hughes was obviously the best choice out of the applicants. Mrs. White had told him so herself, and her good opinion was not easily won. And Bracken wanted what was best for Sebastian, no matter how uncomfortable the young lady made him feel. The best he could hope to do would be to ignore her presence as much as possible and keep what little conversation they did have on the topic of his nephew. Bracken considered how long this compromise might last and wasn’t very hopeful…

[Monday]

Chapter 3
After knocking on the increasingly familiar door of Mr. Campbell’s residence, Nicky tried taking in a few deep breaths to calm herself. However, all that she accomplished was to feel even more pathetic. Really, she had no reasonable excuse as to why she should feel so anxious. By some miracle, she had actually gotten the job, even after that disaster of an interview. It was as if she had no possession over her own words and just blurted out the first thought that popped into her head. She had walked away from her first meeting with Mr. Campbell expecting it to be her last; Nicky had played the part of the fool so well during her brief questioning. Quite disappointed that she had done so poorly on her first attempt at finding a job, she was already resolved to do better at the next position she found.
After all of this, it wasn’t that hard to image the shock she felt when she was finally informed that she had gotten the job after all. What a set of mixed emotions that had aroused in her! It wasn’t as if she wasn’t confident in her ability to perform her job well. Nicky was convinced that there wasn’t a child out there that she couldn’t love, or at least care for, although her nieces and nephews seemed to like to try that theory now and then.
And she was rather excited to be officially entering this whole dazzling world that London possessed. Meeting all new people and seeing so many different places! Not to mention the anticipation of being able to watch over a young boy, to be able to comfort him and teach him. He was the reason she was here, after all, and she was quite honored to be someone’s guardian, even if it was just her occupation and not her right as a parent.
But even with all of these happy ideas floating around in her head the very thought of facing Bracken Campbell again after being so embarrassed was enough to make her anxious. His very presence had unsettled her. And it wasn’t as if she thought he was a bad man or even a frightening one, though he did look like he could hold his own in a challenging situation and probably had before. There was just something about him that seemed to make her thoughts go fuzzy and she didn’t much enjoy the sensation. Or at least she didn’t think that she did…
However, before she could ponder her predicament any further, the very old door creaked open to the same man who had allowed her entrance just the day before. Nicky put on her brightest smile and stepped over the threshold. “Hello,” she said sticking her hand out in a genial way, “I’m Nicole Hughes, the new governess. I didn’t have the pleasure of making your acquaintance the other day.”
The stately man looked to be in his late forties, Nicky guessed, had a well trimmed mustache streaked with silver, and proved to have a very nice smile after she made herself known. He took her hand in his warm one and gave it a hearty shake. “Pleased to meet you, miss. You can just call me Stevens, everyone else does.” He leaned down to take one of Nicky’s two trunks as he spoke. “It’s wonderful that we’re finally going to have someone around to help out with the young master. He can be rather… energetic, but he means well, and he has a good heart. But I’m sure you already know that.”
Nicky smiled. “I actually haven’t gotten the opportunity to meet him yet. I’m very much looking forward to it, though.”
“Well he’s out with Mrs. White right now; I believe they went to the park. So you should have time to get nice and settled in before you make the young lad’s acquaintance.” With that, Stevens led her to a lovely but modest room in the servants’ quarters. As Nicky saw more of the house she was once again struck by how well furnished and kept the house was. But still, she couldn’t help but get the impression that with all of the lavishness displayed there was still no love in the rooms. The place somehow reeked of sadness. If it was at all possible, this was one of the things she hoped to cure, or at least start to help mend.
Nicky had just finished unpacking her clothes and was about to settle into writing a letter to her mother and father when it was announced that Sebastian had finally returned home. As she left her room, she nervously rubbed the palm of her hands on her petticoat and suddenly had the terrible thought that he might not like her. She had passed his guardian’s interview, but it was Sebastian’s impression of her that mattered the most.
When she entered the foyer, she had the additional shock of seeing Mr. Campbell himself, though she had no real reason to be surprised that he would want to see to the introduction of his own nephew to his new governess. However, Mrs. White was there as well and she tended to have a calming effect on Nicky. There was something both caring and kind in her face that eased her anxiety. Behind the skirts of the lady was a boy that appeared to have light brown hair, the exact shade of his uncles, although his other features were hard to make out. He was peaking his head around Mrs. White, just enough to keep one eye trained on Nicky.
Mr. Campbell was wearing an expression somewhere between doubt and concern and this did nothing to sooth the butterflies in Nicky’s stomach. She hoped his nephew did not harbor the same feelings of mistrust that Campbell seemed to feel toward people in general. Or maybe it was just her that he seemed to doubt? She would prove him wrong. There was no reason in the world why she couldn’t be as best a thing as possible for Sebastian, aside from his own mother. This thought seemed to give fortitude to her actions and she stood a little straighter and smiled at the nervous boy. It took him a few moments, but slowly he gave her a tentative smile back.
“Sebastian,” said Campbell, gesturing his hand toward the boy. His voice was even deeper and smoother then Nicky remembered it being. “This is Miss Hughes, Miss Hughes, Sebastian. She’s the very nice lady who’s going to help Mrs. White watch over you from now on. Now come around from there like a good lad and great her properly.”
While Mr. Campbell had been giving his rather surprisingly kind introduction, Nicky had been edging steadily closer. When she was a few feet away from him and Mrs. White she bent down to be eye level with Sebastian and stuck her hand straight out as if to shake his like a man would instead of giving him a formal curtsy. She somehow understood that the boy would appreciate this gesture more. Without fail, he edged around Mrs. White, who was smiling broadly all the while, and gently grasped Nicky’s hand. “How do you do?”
“It’s wonderful to finally meet you, Sebastian.” This time when she smiled at him, his returning smile was immediate.

Nicky awoke the next day in her new quarters more than a little confused. She was sure that she would wake up to the drab accoutrements of her room at the inn but instead seemed to be in a very charming yet almost completely unfamiliar room. Hadn’t she just been disappointed to learn that she had, not surprisingly, been rejected to work for the Campbell’s and was preparing to pack her bags for home in defeat?
With a jolt of revelation, Nicky remembered that she had just been dreaming, that her goal had really been achieved and had gotten the prized position as Sebastian’s governess. Like a flood, the events of the past day came washing over her. After finally meeting the young man in question, he was unfortunately whisked away to his French tutor, and Nicky didn’t get to see him again until they were all called to supper. And even then the stifling awkwardness was almost unbearable to her, not that it was any particular fault of hers or Sebastian’s.
Mr. Campbell seemed distracted and distant and barely spoke two words to her throughout the entire meal though Ms. White tried several times to engage them both in a conversation. Sebastian as well seemed to be preoccupied. Once she caught his eyes from across the table and managed to make him smile with a quick funny face that she hoped only he would notice. She was satisfied to see her scheme work on the boy until she glanced over at Campbell and saw that he was looking at her with a mixture of both amusement and disapproval in his eyes. Nicky’s could feel her face heat up and felt extremely foolish. When she saw that Sebastian had seen the exchange between them and that his smile had just grown wider, she decided that it had been easily worth the embarrassment. Feeling vindicated, she turned her haughty gaze back on Campbell only to see that his regular look of discontent was back in place as he stared of into nothing.
Lord knew what the man could be thinking of but for some reason Nicky found she could imagine the possibilities. Maybe he was worried about his business or if he had made a mistake in hiring her. Or perhaps he had quarreled with a friend and was wondering about how they could make amends. He could be worried about Sebastian, noticing as she had that the boy had eaten very little even after being reminded by both his uncle and Mrs. White to finish his meal. He might even be thinking of his poor sister, God rest her soul.
Why she should want to know or even care in the first place was a mystery to her. Campbell was obviously a grown man, almost a full ten years older than her, she imagined. He didn’t need anybody to take care of him anymore then she did. She hastily put the man out of her mind and tried instead to think of the problem at hand, namely Sebastian.
With a sigh, Nicky rolled out of bed and began to prepare for the day ahead of her. She was of no use to anyone is she simply thought about her troubles and didn’t attempt to do something about them.
Rather than have the boy summoned to her, she decided she would go looking for him instead. Though the nursery had been shown to her yesterday during a general tour of the premises, she couldn’t quite remember where it was on the second landing. Peaking her head through the crack of one open door, she found Mr. Campbell bent over a desk, meticulously writing something out. Pausing a moment to study his profile, Nicky realized what a mystery this man was. Though it had taken very little endeavor to puzzle together the psyche of the men she was acquainted too, Bracken Campbell was something else. Though most of the British upper class had required their fortune through inheritance, Mr. Campbell was obviously a hard working business man which was rare among the aristocracy. He had lost a sister and gained a nephew in a very short expanse of time and yet seemed hardly affected, though she knew all too well that pain could be hidden when one didn’t want it to be revealed. She was suddenly glad that she would probably very rarely see this man as knowledge was power and she knew very little about him at all.
As she was steadily backing out of the doorway, he suddenly seemed to notice her presence and turned around in his seat. Though obviously mildly shocked for a half a second to see her looming in the threshold of his office, he recovered quite quickly and politely asked, “Is there something I could help you with, Miss Hughes?”
She was infuriated with herself both for being caught spying on him and for the blush she could feel spreading through her cheeks, “Sorry to disturb you, sir. I was just looking for the nursery.”
She started to back out of the room again when he suddenly stood up. “It’s no trouble at all,” he said walking over to her. “I can show you. I need to be heading to my office shortly anyway.”
Nicky bit back her comment that she would be perfectly capable of finding the room herself realizing both how rude it would sound and that it would probably better to stop sticking her nose in random rooms anyway. Instead she asked, “Your office? What sort of business are you in?”
He glanced down at her as they walked, a bemused look spreading across his face. Surely it wasn’t impertinent to ask about a man’s profession? Then again, she had to get used to the fact that she was his employee now, not just a lady asking a question of a gentleman. Nicky was far to accustomed to the easy going life of the British country side, and needed to come to terms with the fact that she had to adjust her behavior accordingly and quickly.
Despite her misgivings, he answered her question calmly enough and at least didn’t seem to be offended. “Though I do dabble in a bit of trade, my main business is ship building. I’ve been involved in the business for nearly half my life, but new developments are constantly being made so it keeps me on my toes and I rarely have time for leisure.” Though his words bespoke a challenge, he didn’t seem to mind at all and Nicky imagined that he was not the type of man to begrudge hard work. She could also detect from his tone that his profession, though difficult, was something that he deeply enjoyed and she had to admit that they were kindred spirits, at least in this one aspect. She knew how it was to choose a complicated path, knowing all along that it’s the one that would make you happiest. “There is an indescribable feeling of fulfillment to see something that once only existed in my imagination come to fruition.”
“You seem quite passionate about your work,” she said bluntly and immediately wished she hadn’t, not knowing where exactly it had come from. Although she did believe it to be true that didn’t mean that it was quite proper to say such things.
He didn’t seem remotely offended however and looked down at her as he said, “You’re quite perceptive.”
“One of my many faults,” she said modestly, rallying to act in a respectable manner at last. However, she couldn’t keep her eyes from meeting his, something a modest woman would probably never do.
“I would hardly consider it a fault,” he replied before finally breaking their gaze. He gestured to the door in front of them and it was only then that Nicky realized they had been standing redundantly in front of her destination for the better part of their conversation. “Here you are,” he said. “I really must be going.” And with a nod of his head in farewell, he was gone.
Nicky watched him retreat with her lips pursed. Yes, certainly a mystery. She turned the knob of the door in front of her and stepped into the nursery. She immediately spotted Sebastian slumped in a chair and reading a book so intently that his nose was very nearly pressed to the page. Suppressing a smile, she ventured further into the room and as soon as the boy spotted her, he hastily shoved aside the book as if being caught reading for amusement was beyond humiliation.
Not wanting to put him off right from the get go, she pretended to not notice the book at all and instead asked warmly, “How are you today, Sebastian?” She sat across from him and folded her hands in her lap as she waited for his reply.
He looked slightly taken aback as if he had not expected her question at all. Sure enough, he asked, “Aren’t you going to ask me what lessons I’ve been learning recently?” From the expression on his face, the boy obviously hadn’t decided whether or not he could trust her yet.
“Well I suppose I’ll have to eventually, you’re education is very important. But I thought we might spend today on getting to know one another a bit better. What do you think?”
He gave her one last suspicious look though she could tell he liked the idea. “This isn’t some kind of trick, is it?”
The corners of her mouth twitched but other than that she betrayed no other evidence that she found his question amusing. “Of course not, I highly disapprove of tricks of that sort.”
“What kind of tricks do you approve of?” he asked, his curiosity obviously peeked. What a clever boy he is, thought Nicky. She was half hoping that he would catch her slight hint that she didn’t disapprove of all tricks and she was not disappointed.
“Oh let’s just say that when I was a little girl, my sisters and I took no greater delight then playing tricks on the housekeeper. She was a wicked old lady, who never let us have any sweets or play outside no matter how much we begged her.”
“How dreadful,” whispered Sebastian sympathetically. “Why wouldn’t she let you play?”
“Girls, she said, were not meant to run amuck outside as boys are. But don’t go feeling too bad for us, we very rarely were well behaved and the poor woman must have suffered. You see, my father would not dismiss her simply on the grounds that we did not approve of her, thinking he might spoil us, so we made it our personal mission to make the lady wish to leave herself.”
“And did you succeed?” Sebastian asked, obviously quite enjoying her story. Nicky wondered if it was quite appropriate to be sharing stories of her mischievous childhood with such a young boy, but thought it might be worth it if she could win over his trust in the process.
“She put in her resignation after just six months with us,” she boasted with a slight smug grin on her face. The woman really had been awful and Nicky and her elder sisters had been glad to see her go.
“Might we try one of your tricks on someone here?” the boy asked gleefully. Nicky cursed herself inwardly, feeling foolish for not foreseeing this train of thought.
She tried to back track, praying she wouldn’t undue any good she had just achieved through their conversation. “Surely no one in your uncle’s employ would deserve such treatment? I doubt whether anyone here could be a dreadful as Ms. Gunthorp.”
Sebastian looked thoughtful for a second before saying, “Yes, you’re probably right. Everyone here has been rather nice to me.”
“Well I’m glad to hear it,” she said warmly. “Indeed, Mrs. White has been quite kind to me from the moment I arrived.” He smiled brightly at that and Nicky swore the sight of it nearly broke her heart. She had not once seen him smile so genuinely and made it her personal goal to see to it that it happened more often.
“Oh yes, I do like Mrs. White quite a bit. Though it will be nice to have someone around who is a bit younger.” He blushed at his own words and hastily added, “I only mean that I think it’s hard for her to play games and such all the time.”
“Of course,” said Nicky, attempting to mollify his worries that he might have offended her. “Though you might want to note that most women in general do not like to have their increasing age thrown about in casual conversation.” She could attest to this personally, in fact, as she had once overheard her age talked about in polite society. It was by a group of younger girls she knew to be particularly sharp-tongued and hateful, but the remarks still hurt none the less. However, Nicky was sure Mrs. White wouldn’t begrudge the boy his comment; she felt it might be wise for him to know for future reference that generally such remarks were not desired by most women.
“So Sebastian,” continued Nicky, “What do you like to do for fun here? Are there any games-” She cut herself off abruptly but recovered quickly, “any games you like to play in particular?” She had been about to ask him if he liked any games he had played with his mother but she was glad the she stopped herself. She was for all intents and purposes a perfect stranger and if Sebastian wanted to talk about his mother, he would bring it up himself. It was not her right to ask such a question.
“Well,” said the boy. He had a mischievous glint in his eyes that she stored in her memory for future reference. She had just met the boy yesterday, but already she could tell he had an adventurous nature about him. A trait he no doubt shared with his uncle. “There is one game I like to play. But only when no one else is around.”
“Dare I ask?” she inquired of him bemusedly. Inwardly, she thought, What have I gotten myself into?


~*~*~*~

Bracken had made it half way to his office nears the London docks when he realized that he’d left behind several important papers. No doubt the distraction was caused by Miss Hughes but he couldn’t very well blame the woman for not knowing her new residence very well yet. In all honesty, the woman distracted him too much, more than most beautiful women did and he shook his head in frustration. Why Miss Nicky Hughes should bother him was a complete mystery. Annoyed at himself, he turned around and headed back to his home.
Bracken strode through the front entrance several minutes later, his mind still preoccupied with his own stupidity and not paying the least bit of attention to his surroundings. If he had, he might have noticed his newly hired governess beginning a perilous trip down the stair banister without taking the time to see who could be bellow. By the time she had seen him and uttered a warning cry he had just enough time to look up before she toppled into him.
They fell to the floor and he fortunately managed to keep her from hitting the ground too hard, however this ended with most of her weight landing on his abdomen. Though she may not weigh very much, the force of her landing on top of him was enough to knock the wind out of him. As soon as he had caught his breath he let out an oath that really wasn’t considered suitable for polite society, but considered it to be irrelevant in view of the present circumstances. She peered down at him with her translucent grey eyes as if shocked to find herself atop a grown man’s lap, her hands pressed lightly on his chest and her face but a few inches from his. He was beginning to think that it wasn’t such a bad thing to have her land on top of him after all, when her cheeks stained red and she was scrambling to get up in as dignified a manner that she could. Before he could get up himself she was reaching down to grasp his arm and was attempting to pull him to his feet.
“I am so sorry, sir! I was such a fool, to not look before slid down like that!” Her gaze swept him up and down as if to look for any permanent damage she might have caused while Bracken had to resist the momentary impulse to laugh. Of course she would not apologize for making the trip down the banister in the first place, just that her game had met such a disastrous end. “Are you quite alright?”
He waved his hand as if to dismiss the question. While he might sport a bruise or two the next day, it was not as if he hadn’t had worse before. No, what was really unsettling him was the look of true worry on her face. Did the lady always leave her emotions so unguarded? “Am I going crazy,” he asked incredulously, “or did you not just slide down the stair banister and into me?” He had the satisfaction of seeing her face flush red with embarrassment before he turned his gaze on his nephew who had just raced down the stairs. Just like that, the situation seemed to explain itself. “Oh I see. Sebastian, did you put Miss Hughes up to this?”
The boy went pale but before he could speak, the woman in question replied for him. “This is entirely my fault, sir. I fully accept any punishment that you see fit, even if that means that I must leave, but please don’t place any blame on Sebastian.”
Bracken was taken aback both by her earnest appeal for him not to hold Sebastian responsible and by her suggestion that she might be dismissed. The thought had not crossed his mind up until that point and he wondered what another person would do given the same situation. Surely firing her would be too severe for even the sternest of men? He then recalled how some of his acquaintances often talked of their governesses and realized rather grimly that she might expect much worse than a sacking from a cruel employer. Bracken may have been many things, but malicious was not one of them and he knew all too well how vindictive some of the British regency might be to those they considered lesser than themselves.
Before he could get a word in, though, Sebastian started in on him. “You can’t get rid of Miss Hughes, Uncle, it’s not her fault! I tried to talk her into letting me slide down the stair banister but the only way she would let me go was if she tried it out first to make sure it was safe, even though I told her I had done it plenty of times before when no one else was around and that there was nothing to worry about. Please don’t sack her, Uncle!”
He scarcely took a breath throughout this entire speech of his and Bracken was quite stunned with how passionate he seemed to feel on the matter. He doubted whether or not the boy had spoken so much at once in months. What was even more peculiar was that the two of them had barely known one another for a day and already they were coming to each other’s defense against him. He did not know whether to feel bemused or annoyed, joyous or apprehensive.
He turned to look at Miss Hughes and she had the expression on her face that she would rather like to say something but was trying to keep quiet. Bracken was beginning to comprehend how hard it was for this woman to not speak her mind and decided to put her worries at ease. Looking back at his nephew, he said, “I presently have no intention of dismissing Miss Hughes, Sebastian. Although I might suggest you occupy yourselves with an activity a little less likely to cause you both or any hapless victims that you might run into, any harm.”
“I promise,” replied the boy gravely. He then turned around on his heel and began running up the stairs, hollering over his shoulder, “Would you like to play backgammon, Miss Hughes?”
“Why, yes that sounds lovely. I’ll be right up Sebastian and we can play.” She had yet to move however, and her eyes were on Bracken as she spoke. Once his nephew was out of earshot she said, “I don’t know how to apologize enough, sir, for my behavior.”
“There a no apologies necessary,” he said feeling a little uncomfortable. Really, he was not that distressed over the matter at all, his only misgiving had been in concern for their safety. He quite recalled taking a trip down a stair banister or two when he was Sebastian’s age and he admired Miss Hughes for taking the trouble to test the waters, so to speak, before letting his nephew risk the trip down the railing. He wondered for a moment if she had ever done so before in her youth and was quite on the verge of asking if her family home had a suitable banister before he got a hold of himself. What a ridiculous thing to ask a young woman under his employ.
“Even so, sir,” she said, smiling up at him graciously, “I thank you.” Bracken watched her follow Sebastian up the stairs and to the nursery and was out the front door again before he realized that he still didn’t have the papers he had come for.

As Nicky lay in bed several hours later she reflected on the very long day she had. Though she was exhausted, her thoughts were peaceful for the first time in a long time and she knew she could give credit entirely to Sebastian. Exempting the minor incident involving the stairway banister which she tried hard not to dwell on, the day had been delightful and though Sebastian was still quite guarded, she was content to earn his trust with time and patience both of which she had plenty of. It was with these happy thoughts that she drifted off to sleep.
She didn’t know precisely where she was but for some reason the word home came to mind. When she turned around a figure was approaching her and her heart leapt with joy though she wasn’t sure why. It became increasingly evident that the figure was a man but she could put no name to him as his features were shadowed. However, she knew him instantly as two kindred spirits would and as he drew nearer she reached out her hand for his. Without compunction he took her hand and drew her close to him. Their bodies where quite close as he whispered in her ear, “I’ve been waiting for you.”
“I know,” she said, matching his hushed tone. She drew back enough so she could look into his eyes. His mouth drew closer to hers and she tilted her head up, eagerly awaiting his kiss-
Nicky woke with a start and it took her several minutes to realize that she had just been dreaming, that the mysterious man had just been a figment of her imagination. It was hard to shake the feeling that it had not been real, however, no matter what she told herself, and she tossed and turned in bed for an hour at least before falling back to sleep, swearing off romance novels for good. By the time she awoke again in the morning, she had forgotten the dream entirely.

[Monday]

Story Outline
A Memory of a Dream

Chapter One:
• Introduced Nicky- doesn’t want to get married but wants a family, compromises by deciding to become a governess. Introduces father, mother, two older sisters.
• Introduced Bracken- recently lost his sister, don’t know how. Inherited his nephew Sebastian whom he is now responsible for raising. Wants do a good job for his beloved sister. Sister raised him after beloved mother died. Father never part of the picture. Introduced Ms. Martha White as the housekeeper, and Mr. Stevens the temperamental butler. Bracken decides he needs a governess to take care of Sebastian.
Chapter Two:
• Nicky is in London to do the interview. Bracken is initially struck by her beauty and his finding her familiar. Impresses Bracken with her bluntly honest answers to his questions. They lean in for an almost kiss, but ends the chemistry between them abruptly stops when he asks her why she’s not married.
Chapter Three:
• Nicky returns to Bracken’s house to start her work as a governess. She is introduced to Mr. Stevens and showed her room and in what appears to be a well furnished but slightly gloomy household. Briefly meets Sebastian her first day.
• Wakes up the next morning, recaps the awkward dinner of the night before and sets out for her first real days as a governess. Goes to find Sebastian but runs into Bracken and they talk while he takes her to the nursery. He heads to his office while Nicky starts getting to know Sebastian and tries to learn what he likes to do for fun.
• Nicky and Sebastian make plans to slide down the stair banister while Bracken realizes he has left important documents at his home and heads back to retrieve them. As he heads for the stairs, Nicky slides down the banister and they collide. Nicky is embarrassed and flustered but all is forgiven with the promise of never repeating the incident.
• That night as Nicky goes to bed she reflects over the day’s events and decides that it was a success despite the banister incident. That night she has her first dream.
Chapter Four:
• A week has passed since Nicky has started her job. From Bracken’s point of view, Sebastian is doing a lot better and Bracken is confused about his steadily growing admiration for Nicky.
• We are introduced to Marina Heaton (antagonist). She is a client of Bracken’s but show’s an obvious interest in him that has nothing to do with his ship building. Revealed that her late husband (Mr. Heaton) died two years ago and she has been looking for a new husband ever since, implying that she wasn’t too devastated by her loss.
• Most of this Chapter is from Bracken’s point of view dealing with Heaton. Illustrate his dislike through his thoughts but his actions are a determined politeness. He doesn’t want to treat her ungentlemanly however much he dislikes her.
• Part of the Chapter should be from Nicky’s POV. She sees Bracken being nice to Heaton and can obviously tell that the woman likes Bracken so she assumes the worst. And tries to tell herself that she doesn’t care and should have no reason too. Her fears are confirmed when she talks to someone (I’m thinking Sebastian but maybe a maid or something) who tells her that Bracken and Heaton’s “romance” is the talk of the town. Perhaps a proposal is expected?
Chapter Five:
• This Chapter will either start with Bracken having a dream or the previous chapter will end with it.
• PN: Some kind of outing that Bracken wants Sebastian to come to so Nicky has to come as well. Run into several women one of which is Marina. Though Nicky doesn’t impose on any of the other women’s conversations with Bracken and most of them go without noticing her completely, Nicky gets the distinct impression that Marina does notice her and sees some emotion pass before her eyes, but doesn’t know what. Nothing else in her manner reveals what she’s feeling.
Chapter Six:
• PN: Some kind of incident occurs at a party to incriminate Nicky. I’m thinking some object appears to have been stolen and wound up in Nicky’s room. Nicky’s name is eventually cleared as Sebastian and Bracken both defend her.
• After guests have finally left after what has maybe been a party lasting several days, Nicky and Bracken run into each other in the library and wind up kissing passionately.
Chapter Seven:
• PN: A bad accident occurs that almost gets Nicky killed. Bracken is furious and this leads to them realizing that they desire each other even more then they had previously thought.
• I’m thinking that she’s in a carriage and somehow the driver loses control of the horses and they literally run right into the Thames. While the driver tries to free the horses, the carriage quickly sinks and Nicky thinks well enough on her feet to escape in time and keep from drowning. Maybe part of her dress gets snagged on one of the seats and she has to wiggle out of part of it to get free? Cheesy but I like it.
• Bracken receives a letter from Nicky were she calmly states that she lost all of her money when she accidently took a dip in the Thames and if he would be so kind as to send a carriage for her.
• He comes to get her himself and is predictably furious that something so ridiculous happened that endangered her life while she calmly explains what exactly happens. Maybe he gets mad at the driver and Nicky has to calm him down? Things become serious on the drive back and they both begin to realize the extreme depth of their feelings for each other.
Chapter Eight:
• PN: Heaton plays a trick on Nicky to convince her that Bracken wants to be with her instead so she pulls a Jane Eyre and decides to leave.
• Emphasis on her internal struggle to want to stay and look after Sebastian (by now she loves him as her own) and the realization that if she does stay it would break her heart so see Bracken marry someone else and she must subconsciously realize that Marion wouldn’t allow her to stay anyway. Or maybe Marion confronts her herself while Bracken is gone and convinces Nicky that they are getting married and that she will have none of her.
• Avoids Bracken the rest of the day by claiming she’s not feeling well and in the very early morning, she makes her escape.
Chapter Nine:
• PN: Nicky heads for home. On the way there, the carriage breaks down a few miles from a town so Nicky decides to go to the rest of the way there on foot. Maybe it’s also raining and close to sunset? But Bracken catches up to her before she can make it there.
Chapter Ten:
• PN: Confrontation, admission of feelings, proposal, and consummation- never got that far the time before they knew each other because they wanted to be right but this time he can’t bear to see her go to a separate bed, though he doesn’t know why the feeling is so strong. Nicky feels the same way and is overjoyed when he asks her to stay with him.
Chapter Eleven:
• PN: Come home engaged and preparing for the wedding.
• PN: Word of unorthodox marriage spreads like wildfire. Sebastian is very happy for both of them and so is the staff. Nicky feels like something is very wrong despite her happiness and though Bracken has the same sort of feeling he doesn’t feel it enough to actually worry.
Chapter Twelve:
• PN: Heaton kidnaps/ traps Nicky before they can get married. Bracken rushes off to save her once he figures it out (maybe all of their memories of each other are triggered somehow? Maybe the witch uses so much power to get Nicky that her memory spell starts to fade?). He doesn’t bother to tell anyone else what’s really going on but he does tell Mrs. White to inform the police that something is wrong and were to go.
Chapter Thirteen
• PN: The big reveal and rescue. All of Bracken and Nicky’s memories of each other are finally restored and everything makes sense. Marina has wanted Bracken all along and a year ago she watched as Bracken and Nicky fell in love the first time. Wiped both their memories and anyone else who might know and tried to make Bracken fall in love with her but couldn’t. Perhaps she also has something to do with how Bracken’s sister died? She also had a hand in making people think that Nicky stole that thing at the party and her almost drowning. Bracken arrives but she pulls out a gun. When they hear the police above, Marina panics and fires in Nicky’s direction but Bracken jumps in front of the bullet instead and has been near fatally wounded.



Primary plot points:
• Nicky’s ability to play the piano well needs to fit into the plot somewhere.
• Nicky gets job as Sebastian’s governess
• Deep description of strange feeling between Bracken and Nicky intermingled with dreams/ memories
• Obviously she gets hired, but not sure how she will transition from her receiving the position to moving in, how much time will pass, and were to go from there… Perhaps a week or two will pass since she was hired. Nicky and Sebastian do very well together. Bracken and Nicky have hardly spoken two words together since she was hired, but he can’t help but notice her, and she notices him as well. She doesn’t like how unsettled he makes her feel, though it’s not in a creepy ominous way. It’s more like he can see right through her. As if he already knows everything about her and she him (which they do but don’t know it… lol).
• Introduce Bracken’s friend? IE, evil witch that stole their memory of each other. Pretty soon into Nicky starting to work there, I’d like to introduce the witch. Can’t decide if I should put the scene from her eyes or just keep it with Nicole and Bracken. She is surprised and annoyed to see that Nicole has somehow made it there, but plays it off as coincidence and has enough assurance in her spells to believe herself safe. Her affection for Bracken is obvious, but Bracken’s is much less. Maybe they are supposedly courting and many believe a proposal to be soon made.
• Nicole believes so as well, and pretends to be happy for her very likeable boss though she knows there is something wrong with the witch lady (though no one knows she is a witch). However, Nicole and Bracken become closer and cannot hide their growing affection for each other secret for long…
• Casually bump into each other after a week or so. After she sees the witch lady. Maybe they are in the library and are after the same book? Sexual tension builds, possible a very passionate kiss. Somehow doesn’t feel like it’s been the first. Perhaps Nicky feels like crying afterwards but doesn’t know why. She’s very confused. So is Bracken. But he wants her. He knows that much.
• Both of them can’t control their emotions and don’t know why. They dream of each other almost every night. Eventually, their hesitation breaks and Bracken asks to marry her and she accepts. They still don’t know that they’ve met and loved each other before this. Nicky starts having nightmares about them being separated.
• Witch hears about the engagement and maybe now it can be revealed about the two lovers past and the witches ruining it for them because of her spite and jealously. She plans on separating them again. But this time she plans on using murder as a means to keep Nicky away from Bracken.

Random excerpt that I don’t want to delete:

((Start of chapter 4 maybe?)) Bracken looked up from his work for what must have been the fifth time to stare out of his office, moved somewhere between annoyance and pure joy. Yes, there it was again. The somewhat hesitant laughter of a boy interspersed with the pleasant ring of a woman’s mirth. It came on slowly so at first he hadn’t realized what was happening, but already the difference in Sebastian was perceptible. He thought he might never here the boy laugh again, and just that alone made it worth it to him to hire Nicky.
He shook his head as if to erase the name from his mind. He knew her name was Nicole but he couldn’t seem to get the ridiculous nickname out of his head. It just seemed to suit her more than the more formal name Nicole did. But it wasn’t as if he should call her anything but Miss Hughes anyways, at least when talking to her. The impropriety of calling her by her Christian name would surely make any woman blush at such a scandal. However, he didn’t really see her as a typical lady of his acquaintance and thought perhaps she might not be so aghast at such an address.

Character Development:

Bracken:
• Tall, early thirties. Bracken had his father’s wide shoulders, strong arms, and handsome facial features, though the gentleman would never own to it.
• Owns his own business that design and build ships. It is very successful and he has to work very hard to keep it that way.
• Has a sister name Caroline who recently (not specifically stated) passed away, leaving her son to Bracken.
o Caroline’s son: Sebastian, age eight. Has trouble adjusting to his mother’s death but is really a loving and clever boy.
• Troubled relationship with his parents. His father showed little interest in his upbringing. Father is from Scotland while his mother was English. Caroline had to care for him when his mother was no longer capable of it herself. Maybe his mother became sickly when he was fairly young and though his parents were married his father was rarely around when he was growing up and stopped showing up completely after his mom died.
• Martha White: House keeper for Bracken though they are more like family. She was very good friends with Bracken’s late mother and was around for a large part of his childhood.

Nicky:
• Twenty three years old, blue-grey eyes, long dark hair.
• She looks up to her mother very much. They look a lot alike and they both love to play the piano, though Nicky believes she could never surpass her mother’s skill and loves to hear her play.
• Her parents are her ideal of a perfect marriage and they are part of the reason that she won’t settle for anything less the real love and not just financial opportunity.
• Very independent and wants to make her own way in the world, despite her fears about it.
• Naturally honest and opinionated.

[Monday]

Book Dairy

Have Read (19/50)

Re-read
Nicola and the Viscount- Meg Cabot ***
A Company of Swans- Eva Ibbotson *****
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix- J.K. Rowling *****
Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince- J.K. Rowling *****
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows- J.K. Rowling *****
Moon Called- Patricia Briggs- ****
Alpha and Omega- Patricia Briggs- ****
Cry Wolf- Patricia Briggs- ****
Hunting Grounds- Patricia Briggs- ****
A Song for Summer- Eva Ibbotson- *****

First Time Read (9/50)
Jane Eyre- Charlotte Bronte *****
Anne Frank: The Dairy of a Young Girl ****
The Fountainhead- Ayn Rand *****
Dance of Dreams- Nora Roberts ****
Reflections- Nora Roberts ***
Emma- Jane Austen ****
Blood Born- Linda Howard and Linda Jones- ***
Pride and Prejudice and Zombies- Jane Austen/ Seth Grahame-Smith- **
Silver Borne- Patricia Briggs- *****
River Marked- Patricia Briggs- ****

Want to Read
The Stand- Stephen King
Wuthering Heights- Emily Bronte
Atlas Shrugged- Ayn Rand
Gone With the Wind- Margaret Mitchell
Love in the Time of Cholera- Gabriel Garcia Marquez
Catcher in the Rye- JD Salinger
War and Peace- Leo Tolstoy
Anna Karenina- Leo Tolstoy
Persuasion- Jane Austen
The Handmaid’s Tale- Margaret Atwood
Of Mice and Men- John Steinbeck
Oliver Twist- Charles Dickens
Madame Bovary - Gustave Flaubert
The Picture of Dorian Grey- Oscar Wilde
Leaves of Grass- Walt Whitman

[Monday]

Resume

Meghan Young
(512)-750-9035
6222 UTSA Blvd
Apt. 2208
San Antonio, TX 78249

Objective: I hope to gain more experience in the work field, meet new and interesting people, and help fund my academic studies.

Job Experience:

Walmart Supercenter

201 Walton Way
Cedar Park, TX 78613

Job: Cashier
Time: November 21st, 2007- May 16th, 2008
Starting Salary: $8.40 an hour
Hours worked per week: 16

Job Description:

• Scan customers items
• Bag customers items
• Handled tender for the items
• Made change
• Cleaned work station
• Maintained a friendly, helpful attitude around customers

Sonic

2000 Bagdad Road
Cedar Park, TX 78613

Job: Carhop
Supervisor: Keith Brown
Time: July 25th, 2008- January 11th, 2009
Starting Salary: $6.55 an hour plus tips
Hours worked per week: About 10 to 15

Job Description:

• Make drinks
• Bag orders
• Took the orders
• Took the orders out to the customers
• Handled customer tender
• Make change
• Restock store items
• Take out the outside trashes
• Closed the carhop section of the store (stocking, cleaning the floors, windows, and outside tables, and checking the lot)

Sonic

809 S Highway 183
Leander TX, 78641

Job: Carhop
Reference Phone Number: 512-260-2433
Supervisor: Joe Mann
Time: January 14th to August 22nd, 2009 and from May 7th to August 6th, 2010
Starting Salary: $6.55 an hour plus tips
Hours worked per week: About 25 during the school year and between 30 and 40 during the summer

Job Description:

All of the same duties as listed under the previous job.

Graduated from Vista Ridge High School in 2009

High School Activities:

• Several AP level classes

• Marching Band for all four years of my high school career

• Section leader in the Band my senior year

• Involved in the Newspaper my junior year

• Participated in HOSA (Health Occupation Students of America)

• Volunteered at several blood drives and at a race for the cure type event

• Took a basic computer skills course my senior year (BCIS I)

Attending University of Texas at San Antonio as of the fall of 2009

Expected graduation date: May 2013

Area of study: Nursing

Miscellaneous Skills:

• Writing

• Handling customers with a calm and polite manner

• I can get along with pretty much anyone

[Monday]

Chapter 4

Bracken looked up from his work for what must have been the fifth time in the last half hour to stare at the door to his office, moved somewhere between annoyance and pure joy. Yes, there it was again. The somewhat hesitant laughter of a boy interspersed with the pleasant ring of a woman’s mirth. It came on slowly over the last few weeks so at first he hadn’t realized what was happening, but already the difference in Sebastian was perceptible. He thought he might never here the boy laugh again, and just that alone made it worth it to him to hire Nicky.
He shook his head as if to erase the name from his mind. He knew her name was Nicole but he couldn’t seem to get the ridiculous nickname out of his head. It just seemed to suit her more than the more formal name Nicole did. But it wasn’t as if he should call her anything but Miss Hughes anyway. The impropriety of calling her by her Christian name would surely make any woman blush at such forward behavior. However, when he thought it over, he realized she might not be so aghast at such an address after all.
Granted, the woman was a bit strange. She didn’t fit in with the usual fauna that was young English ladies, that was certain, and had proved as much in one breath. She admitted without shame that she had no intention of marrying, something practically unheard of. There might have been other reasons for her to not marry besides simple indifference to the idea and could just be trying to protect her pride but somehow Bracken doubted it. She wasn’t the type to care overly much about how others perceived her. But according to some, all young ladies should have only one goal in life: Marriage to an eligible gentleman. Or so he had been told. Obviously there were many who would dislike Nicky for simply disagreeing with this philosophy but he was not one of them. He thought the gentry’s habit of showing a marked disapproval for any strong or independent woman was ridiculous. But then again, no one could have been raised by his mother and not believe in the strength of women.
But this was not the only way that she differed from many of her kind. She genuinely enjoyed being helpful in whatever way she could manage, whether some might consider the task “demeaning” to her class or not. She helped the cook in the kitchen when the scullery girl caught cold and stayed up late into the night nursing her back to health (Mrs. White had particularly loved to tell him this story as if she was the proud mother hen). And every time he saw her looking at Sebastian it wasn’t hard to see the earnest affection she felt for the boy written all over her face. That expression alone could soften the hardest of hearts as Bracken well knew.
These traits he could easily admire but then there were her strange little quirks that he found unsettling only in that they should bother him but didn’t. Quite to the contrary, he more often found himself amused rather than annoyed. There was the whole stair-banister-incident which was now, he was informed, known far and wide by every household staff member in the county. He knew she spent a vast amount of time reading, a trait some might disapprove of but which he could never begrudge anyone as he loved it so much too. And he could detect a great deal of intelligence behind her unguarded and very expressive eyes, eyes that he found very disconcerting in their intensity.
But there was one other thing, a habit of hers he noticed that was so subtle he had to wonder if he was just imagining it or not. She had this odd habit of touching her surroundings in a way he was sure would make no sense if he tried to mention it out loud. It wasn’t as if she took hold of everything in sight when walking in a room but it was in the way she placed her fingers on the arm of a chair before taking her seat or how she would run her hand against the edge of a table. Almost like seeing something wasn’t enough, she had to feel it before she could properly appreciate it. It had been quite obvious when he had seen her the other night in the library as she ran her fingertips across each title on a book spine before looking at the next. As if the texture of the book, rather than the subject was how she picked what to read. Which was complete nonsense, he knew. And if this behavior was in fact real and not just his over active imagination, then he was sure that it was done completely unconsciously. Even so, he had not entered the room while she was so intently searching the shelves of his very well stocked library, only paused a moment to watch her before moving on, quite easily making the decision to come back later. He felt like going in the room would be a little bit like interrupting a priest in the middle of his prayer.
A hesitant knock came to the door, shocking him out of his revere, and a few heartbeats later Mrs. White poked her head in. His gaze shot up, as he had for a moment expected to see an entirely different lady at his threshold, one whom his thoughts had so recently been dwelling. Bracken cursed at himself internally for the slight twinge of disappoint he found at it only being Mrs. White.
“Terribly sorry to interrupt sir, but that woman, the one from Belgrave Square ((just filler, do research)), is here and is requesting to see you.”
He could hardly be bothered by the interruption as his thoughts had so obviously not been on his work when Mrs. White had entered and he had to admit, he welcomed the distraction. And though it was quite amusing to here the disapproval in her voice when she spoke of Marina Heaton, he couldn’t help but be a little bit annoyed that she had called on him at his home. He had strictly informed his clients that he preferred doing all business at his offices unless it was a formal party or something of the sort, but certainly not unannounced in the middle of a work day.
Then again, he supposed that Mrs. Heaton wasn’t strictly shopping for one of his boats but for him specifically. The woman had been trolling for a new husband since her dear Mr. Heaton died less than two years ago and she had sight her sights on him almost immediately though he was quite careful to leave no misunderstanding about his feelings toward her.
With the resigned sigh of someone getting ready to take care of a tedious task he stood up and headed toward the door where Mrs. White was still hovering. “It’s no trouble Martha, I’ll see her now. Do you think I might get away without inviting her in for refreshments or would that be a little too off-putting?”
She pursed her lips in honest concentration, really deliberating for a moment; Bracken appreciated it. “You might have to play it by ear, sir. If she lingers for too long in the foyer while you’re talking she might expect you bid her to sit down and God forbid the man who snubs that woman. But if you can discuss what she came here for quickly you might be off scot free. I’m afraid to say that that seems quite unlikely considering how much Mrs. Heaton can enjoy a good chat.”
He smiled as he followed her out of the office and toward the entrance of his home. The woman had a way of making his troubles seem less distasteful and more amusing. Perhaps that was part of the reason he hired her all those years ago but they both knew the real reason though they hardly spoke of it. Martha and his mother had been very close friends before she passed and she reminded him of her in many ways not to mention that she was around quite a lot during his childhood. She was practically family and for that he would always be grateful for her presence.
As they reached the bottom of the stairs Mrs. White veered off and said over her shoulder, “This is where I leave you sir. I love you dearly but I am not so self-sacrificing that I would endure that woman.” He whispered coward just loud enough for her to hear but he had a smile in his voice as he said it. Bracken couldn’t blame the woman when he would do the same if he could.
In the few moments before he walked in the entrance he considered the possibility that he might have been unfair to Mrs. Heaton. There was nothing quite discernable that he could name against her really, and though it was true that the lady did like to talk quite a bit, mostly about subjects he had no interest in and never could, she had not done anything to warrant his level of distaste for her.
This more optimistic outlook on their acquaintance lasted all the way through greeting her but quickly dissipated as soon as she opened her mouth.

~*~*~*~

Nicky peered up from the book she had recently picked up to see Sebastian still studiously at work. Today they were working on penmanship and though his reading ability was superb, his writing was worse than chicken scratch. She had worked out a tentative schedule for this week but she was still learning herself about what level of education he was on and what areas he needed work on. Fortunately she had caught sight of a sample of his writing a couple of days ago and she would let him work on that until she came up with more lesson plans. She even hoped to start him on the piano soon but knew she had to work her way up to convincing him to try it. There weren’t many young boys willing to sit at an instrument for hours a day when they’d rather be outside playing but a few lessons would do him some good. And who knows, she might get lucky and he could really take to it.
She’d have to talk to Mr. Campbell and make sure he was alright for prolonged lessons if that was the case. There were those who might consider it a waste of time to teach a young boy to play when he could be honing more useful skills for future business but she hoped that wasn’t the case with Campbell, and not just because she loved the piano as much as she did. Nicky didn’t want to think of him as the type of man who would consider art as a waste of time but she didn’t think he was. She just wished she could figure the man out but he was so quiet and rarely ever left his office. But she could still tell how much he loved his nephew and knew from the way the other servants talked about him that he was a good man. Not that it should matter to her either way, she was simply his employee and her personal opinion of him didn’t really matter one wit.
She turned back to the book resting in her hands, trying to comprehend the sentence she had already read several times while lost in her own thoughts. She was very thankful that Sebastian didn’t confound her as much as his uncle seemed too.
A few moments later she heard some papers being shuffled together and she looked up from her book to see Sebastian nervously gathering up his work to present to her. As he turned around she saw that he had an ink smudge on the side of his nose which perfectly ruined the serious expression on his young face. The boy was very concerned about doing well even if what they were learning didn’t particularly interest him.
Wordlessly, he handed the papers over to her and with feigned seriousness she looked them over. Even if his work had been horribly she could not in good conscious reprimand a boy so very eager to please. Luckily for her, his progress was quite noticeable even if she had only been instructing him for a few days and she looked up with a smile.
“This is much better Sebastian, you’re doing quite well.” His eyes lit up upon hearing this and Nicky was a little startled to realize that she was doing exactly what she had set out to accomplish. She was teaching this young boy and though she knew that Sebastian had everything to do with his own progress while she had only a small part in it, she still found that that small part meant a great deal to her. She was beaming every bit as much as he was.
She glanced at the clock to see that it was already well past noon and realized they hadn’t yet eaten lunch. “Why don’t we take a good long break to eat and when we come back we’ll do something different. Your hand must be sore by now.”
She had seen him flex his fingers a moment ago, but now he shook his head and said his hand felt fine. However, he didn’t say that he wanted to continue with their penmanship lessons either so she guessed there was a small bit of pride that played a part in his answer, a trait he no doubt shared with his uncle. She shook her head at herself and wondered how every thought of hers turned back to Campbell.
“Is something wrong, Miss Hughes?” Sebastian asked hesitantly. She had tried to get him to call her Nicole but it seemed even little boys had a greater sense of propriety then she did.
She smiled at him and replied easy, “No, my mind had just been wandering. Why don’t you go ahead and see if there’s something tasty waiting for us in the kitchen. I’m just going to tidy up a bit and I’ll be right behind you.”
He offered to stay and help but she waved him off as she picked up a stack of books. She needed time to think about what they would start on next but by the time she had picked up what little clutter there was about the room, she still wasn’t sure. Deciding that this was a sign that they should take the rest of the day off, she closed the door behind her thinking that it was a perfectly lovely day to go to the park. Sebastian didn’t get out of the house nearly enough and neither did she for that matter. In fact, she realized with a bit of a shock, she had not stepped foot outside of the Campbell residence since she moved here over a week ago. Her parents had never been able to keep her indoors as a child and not much had changed as she grew up. She thought they would be astounded to hear she had stayed inside a whole day much less an entire week.
She had already walked down the same staircase where she had so fatefully landed on top of Bracken Campbell and was about to turn down the corridor that lead to the kitchens when she heard the master of the house’s voice coming from a nearby room. Suddenly finding herself unable to resist seeing who he was talking too, she padded softly over to the wide open entrance of the room. For a moment the thought entered her mind that it was a very bad thing to listen in on someone else’s conversation and wasn’t there an old adage about eavesdroppers seldom hearing anything good of themselves? But then she heard who he was talking too, the voice belonging to a woman, and the idea that it was immoral to listen to a private conversation seemed to disappear from her mind altogether.
When she peered in, the voice that matched the woman was sitting with her back facing Nicky and across from the lady sat Campbell. He was at such an angle that he would only see her if he looked up and slightly to his left but this appeared to be quite unlikely, as he seemed to be very focused on hearing every word the lady across from him had to say. Nicky had hoped for a moment that this woman was only there on business but that was quickly proved to not be the case. The woman was describing a social function that she had been too and the tone of her voice was certainly not of someone simply talking to a business associate but of someone talking to an intimate acquaintance.
Obviously she couldn’t see the lady in question’s face but she carried herself like a woman who is gorgeous and knows it. Nicky could tell that she would draw a lot of attention when entering a room and it seemed that Mr. Campbell was no exception. Her dress was obviously expensive and Nicky bemusedly wondered how many years of work it would cost to buy that many yards of fabric. The lady’s golden hair was perfectly pinned atop her head, work that could only be accomplished by a personal maid.
Now the woman was rattling off a long list of names, people Nicky had never met and probably never would. She knew precisely what she had been giving up when she chose this life and she still thought it was the right choice. But it struck her at odd moments during the day that while she embraced this new world she had also given up another. Most of the time this didn’t bother her at all but now looking in on these two people, even though both of them practically strangers to her, she finally seemed to realize that in some small way at least, it had been a sacrifice.
She wasn’t sure how long she stood there watching them but she decided it couldn’t have been more than about five minutes. The woman seemed to fit an hour’s worth of conversation into that length of time, possibly due to the fact that she didn’t seem to require any sort of reply from Campbell, but Nicky had long ago stopped listening to her. Mostly she watched Bracken and wondered at how he could stay so attentive to her every word. She supposed that he must care about her a great deal to endure it and for some reason, the thought stung her.
Then, oh so smoothly that Bracken didn’t even seem to notice, the lady reached out her hand and placed it familiarly on top of his. Campbell may have been oblivious to this gesture and all of its implications, but Nicky certainly was not and she couldn’t stop herself from uttering a very quiet gasp. Though the noise had been barely audible even to her, she saw Bracken look up and before she could disappear from view, they had locked eyes for the briefest of moments. Hoping desperately that the lady, whoever she was, had not noticed as well, Nicky scrambled away as quickly as possible. She realized that she had once again walked into a situation that would require her to explain her actions to Bracken Campbell. But this time she could think of no excuse that would find her reprieve or a beloved nephew to throw sympathy her way. She would simply have to deliver him the truth and hope that he was not the type of man to be overly offended by spying workers in his household.
She turned toward the kitchen once again, when a thought made her decide to take a quick detour. Though she was beginning to doubt the likelihood of her eating any lunch today, she thought it couldn’t hurt to arm herself with knowledge before she faced any reprimands from her employer whenever he finally saw his guest out of the house. And, she admitted to herself, she was just a little bit curious to find out who the woman was.
Though she had heard stories from other governesses that the other servants in a household could be quite cold and distant from them, she got along well with everyone under Campbell’s employ, and this included Mr. Stevens. He was quite nice to her and, she had heard, was the person to ask if you had a question about anyone in London. Apparently being the doorman didn’t come without it perks, and Mr. Stevens liked sharing the information he often garnered from the gentry even more then he liked learning it in the first place.
He saw her coming and greeted her with a smile. “Hullo Miss Hughes! And how are you today? I trust that Mr. Sebastian isn’t giving you too much trouble?”
“Oh no, he’s been just wonderful. He’s making progress every day.”
“That is certainly good to hear,” he said kindly. He paused for a moment as if waiting for her to speak but Nicky found that it was harder then she expected to ask her question. How exactly did one ask to hear gossip without arousing suspicion as to why she was so curious? To be honest, she wasn’t entirely sure of the answer to that question herself. But she needn’t fear because Mr. Stevens must have noticed her awkwardness and decided to help her along. “Is there anything I could help you with, Miss?”
“Well, I couldn’t help but notice, um, earlier that we had a visitor…” she trailed off. Luckily for her, Steven’s wasn’t the type of man that needed much encouragement.
“Ah, you must mean Mrs. Heaton; she arrived here not too long ago. She’s quite young to have been a widow for going on two years now but word is that she won’t stay unmarried for long. She apparently has her sights set on Mr. Campbell and she is known for being quite tenacious and clever. Our long time bachelor might have finally met his match with this one and many say they expect a proposal before too long.”
“I see,” Nicky said with disappointment evident in her voice. Stevens gave her a curious look and she tried to quickly cover up her blunder. “Well it would be quite nice for Sebastian to have some kind of mother figure in his life, don’t you think? And obviously we all want Mr. Campbell to be happily married.”
“Obviously,” replied Stevens, with a smile that she did not care to look too deeply into. Perhaps coming to the man that could never keep a thing to himself with her request had been a mistake after all.
She didn’t spend too long to dwell on the error of her ways, though. Just then she heard a door close not too far off and the footsteps and voices of two people approaching the entrance. She gave the smallest of shrieks as if someone had just pinched her and scurried off before Bracken and Mrs. Heaton could see her but not before she heard the low chuckle of Mr. Stevens from behind her. She shook her head at herself and wondered what on earth was causing her to act so ridiculously foolish lately but not a single simple answer came to mind. At least not any she cared to contemplate for too long…

~*~*~*~

Bracken was doing his utmost to be the definition of courteous. He was a business man first and it would be very foolish of him to offend one of his more widely known clients, especially one that liked to gossip as much as Marina Heaton did. But for some reason he had never found it so difficult to please a client as it was in this case. All hope that her visit would be short quickly dissipated, as after he greeted her she just stood there and stared at him expectantly, waiting for him to usher her in instead of just telling him what she had come here to say. This basically led Bracken to reluctantly admit that there was no real reason for this visit after all and that it was just a social call. Accepting defeat, Bracken invited her to come in and take refreshments, hoping to keep this visit as short as possible.
Walking to the sitting room and ordering the tea and biscuits only took a disconcertingly small amount of time and he was then forced to listen to her seemingly endless prattling about swarrays he had intentionally not gone too and people he couldn’t remember. If he had wanted to know the very shade of Madame Cole’s gown he would have gone to see for himself. However, years of being lectured as a boy had taught him how to feign interest in whatever the speaker was saying while letting his mind wander.
Unfortunately for him, he couldn’t seem to stay focused on any one thing in particular today and as a consequence, heard much of what Mrs. Heaton had to say anyway. Trying to keep the glazed look out of his eyes was no easy task, but he suddenly became very aware of the situation when she coquettishly placed her hand on his. He hadn’t hardly thought of the best way to react at this very obvious attempt at flirting when he heard a faint noise coming from the door way and he looked up just in time to stare into the wide eyed gaze of Nicky Hughes before she turned and fled. Though he knew the moment had only lasted a few seconds, it had felt like several minutes had gone by and he looked back to see if Mrs. Heaton had noticed. He wasn’t sure why but the idea of her catching Nicky spying on them made him very uncomfortable.
Fortunately, when he glanced at her, her face was tilted down but not so much that Bracken couldn’t discern the furious blush spread across her cheeks. After a few moments, she looked back up at him ruefully and for the first time he wondered if she had interpreted his reaction in a way that was accurate to his true feelings.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Campbell,” she said, boldly looking into his eyes, her former shyness a few moments ago all but dissipated now, “I just feel very comfortable around you.”
Bracken was honest enough with himself to know that he was rarely any good at diffusing these types of situations even when he purposely sought the interest of a woman. When his business had really taken off about a year ago, he rarely had time to sleep much less court a lady and had always regarded marriage as some future event that might or might not take place. He knew for a fact that he could probably never be compelled to ask for Mrs. Heaton’s hand, not unless she underwent some magnificent change in personality which he found very unlikely. However, he had to remind himself to tread lightly. Hell hath no fury, he thought to himself grimly.
“No need to uh, apologize,” he said as swiftly as possible without sounding terse, gently moving his hand away from hers. “We highly value your patronage to our business and we want you to feel like you can trust us, um, professionally.”
Feeling a bit as if he was walking on eggshells, he studied her face to try to discern her reaction to his words. Though the words themselves were kind enough, he knew the unspoken message behind them were also fairly clear. Her features did deflate for half a second and turn into a sort of grimace, but her normal demure expression replaced it in an instant and later he would wonder if he had seen any other look at all.
He smiled back at her reassured and asked, “Should I call for another pot of tea? Ours seems to have gotten cold.” He felt quite generous now that he had avoided what could have potentially been a very big blunder on his part.
“Oh no,” she said standing up briskly. “I really must be going now but I had a lovely time.”
“The pleasure was all mine,” he said wondering to himself how many white lies he should be allowed to tell in one day. He gestured toward the door and followed her out. As they came to the entrance way, Stevens had an odd look of amusement on his face, and when Bracken gave him a curious look he only shook his head and smiled wider. After seeing Mrs. Heaton off, he returned to the entrance room but this time took a very thorough look around for a certain spying governess. He had a feeling that she wouldn’t have gone far after getting caught by him and sure enough, when he glanced over at Stevens, he nodded his head to the corner of the room where he could just see Miss Hughes poking her head around the corner. She stood her ground as he approached her just as he had expected. Bracken hadn’t known the woman long but he knew her well enough to know that she was no runner.
Without saying a word or looking at him she opened the door to the library where she had probably been taking refuge a moment before Mrs. Heaton had left. He followed her into the room and stared bemusedly at her as she solemnly shut the door behind them.
“So I take it that you, um, saw me,” she said, blushing furiously, completely unable to even meet his gaze.
Bracken knew he shouldn’t but he was unable to help himself. “May I just say that you are the most fascinating woman I’ve ever been acquainted with?” She had that indefinable quality about her that always made him want to tell her what he was thinking, no matter how inappropriate. The real trouble was that he was starting to not even be bothered by propriety. Or lack thereof.
“What?” she said bluntly, the confusion plainly clear from the expression on her face. He smiled crookedly and wondered if it was possible that he could confuse Miss Nicole as much as she seemed to confuse him.
“Never you mind,” he said waving a hand in dismissal. “And to answer your question I did indeed see you spying on me-”
“Don’t you think ‘spying’ is a bit over dramatic?” she said unsuccessfully trying to suppress a smile.
“Perhaps,” he relented, smiling back. “After all you might have been innocently inspecting the outside of the door. Or perhaps you were distracted by some important thought and forgot where you were.”
He had her laughing now and he realized with a jolt that he quite enjoyed the sound. She met his gaze and the feeling in the air between them made an abrupt shift. He became very aware of just how close they were standing. Whatever it was that went through them he knew Nicky felt it too he could feel the intensity burning in her eyes like his entire being was alight. He unconsciously started to reach out for her but then she stepped back her eyes darting down before he could read what she was thinking. His hand fell to his side but his fingers were clenched with the effort not to draw her back to him.
“I should get back to Sebastian, I’m sure he’ll be finished eating by now.” When he didn’t say anything immediately she glanced up at him looking more conflicted and troubled then he’d ever seen her. What exactly was it between them? He doubted very seriously that either of them really knew.
“Yes. He’ll be missing you.” She dipped a quick curtsy and was gone.

[Monday]

Chapter 5

He was standing in a room that he had never stepped foot in and yet he knew it’s every detail. It was night but an inferno blazed in the fire place and lit most of his surroundings. He had wound the old clock that sat atop the mantle place, studied every painting that decorated the walls, and passed many enjoyable hours on the worn but comfortable furniture. What had he done during all that time? It seemed impossible that he could forget and yet he obviously had. There was a rustling noise beside him and he glanced over to see a lady gravely staring across the room. He couldn’t take his eyes off her and with a jolt he realized that she was his lady. How could he forget her, the single most important person in his life? He knew that. Why had he been unable to remember? The hours he had spent in this room had all been with her.
He reached out for her and without saying anything she folded herself into his arms. She felt like she was made to be there and some of his disquiet was eased just feeling her presence. His anxiety flashed back in an instant, however, when he noticed that she was rigid beneath his arms and still staring off into the corner of the room. It seemed to take a great deal of concentration but he was finally able to tear his gaze away from the woman in his arms long enough to see what she was staring at.
At first he saw nothing, just a shadowy corner that the light from the flickering flames was unable to reach. But the more he studied it, the more unnatural it seemed to be. It was as if whatever was hidden there was drawing the shadows towards itself for the very purpose of hiding from view. Or perhaps it was to simply frighten them.
A figure emerged from the shadows and his companion started to shake in his arms. He held her tighter to him and for the first time tried to speak though his tongue seemed to be glued to the roof of his mouth and it took even more concentration then it had to look upon the shadow in the first place.
“What do you want?”
His words seemed to float in the air, taking a long time to reach the figure standing in the corner. Though he could see not a single feature of the person, if it could even be called that, he knew enough to sense the twisted smile spreading across its face.
Without a word the fire went out and he was submerged in total darkness, the feel of the evil being all around him and the woman he loved nowhere to be found.

Bracken woke suddenly, his heart pounding and cold sweat running down his back. His dreams had been getting steadily worse in the last few weeks and he woke up almost every night shaking. It was worse this morning though, because he could remember more of it. Most of the time he could only remember certain details of his dreams like the flow of fabric whipping in the wind or the sunshine glinting in his eyes. But he could remember in full detail the way the Shadow Figure had made him feel. It had been like ice filling his chest, the certain doom that was about to follow seeping into every pore of his body.
Now that he could remember that dark being he realized that it had made an appearance in other dreams of his as well that he had just forgotten. Despite the fact that the thought of that figure, whatever it was, terrified him to no end, he liked even less the feeling that he couldn’t remember the details of many of his dreams. The idea of not recalling things worried him more than some demon from his dreams.
The sunshine glinted off the pocket watch on his bed side table at just the right angle to hit him in the eye and with a start he realized that he had been sitting on the side of his bed contemplating his dream for much too long. He shook his head and smiled to himself. It wasn’t the first time in his life that he had had nightmares, after all. But he had been considerably younger when he had last woken up shaking from a mere dream.
He dressed quickly; he was ready to get on with the business of the day. Yesterday he had promised Sebastian that he would take him along today to see one of the completed ships. Though he was looking forward to showing the boy around the docks, he wasn’t looking forward to meeting and greeting all of his clients. He knew it was part of the job but he much preferred to spend his day pouring over blueprints and discussing building plans with the workers then chatting about inconsequential gossip and parties. At least he’d have Sebastian there as an excuse to duck out early if need be.
He frowned after another quick glance at his watch. It was late enough in the day for Sebastian to have started his lessons. Since their little talk a week ago, he had barely spoken two words to Nicky. He had wanted to speak to her again, to apologize or explain his forwardness but the reluctance in her eyes had kept him mostly silent besides common civility. He didn’t like the uncomfortable silence that had grown between them and told himself that he would make a definite try at relieving some of that tension. There was no reason that they couldn’t be friendly toward one another, and besides he missed their conversations though he realized with a jolt that they had had very few in their short acquaintance as it was. It felt like she had been here a lot longer then she actually had.
He seemed to have to mentally prepare himself each time before walking into a room with her. It was quite disturbing to realize that someone he barely knew had even that much power over him but there it was. Obviously he was alone in these strange feeling and it was quite inappropriate to even hope otherwise. Miss Hughes and his best hope would just be to carry on as they were: employer and employee, nothing more nothing less.
Finally ready to be off, he sent word with one of the servants to bring the horses around and set off to fetch Sebastian himself. He knocked softly on the entrance to the school room and gently pushed the door open. Two very familiar faces looked up at him wearing almost comically identical expressions of surprise. Though it was very rare for him to interrupt their lessons on a normal day, it should come as no surprise to both of them that he was here to get his nephew today. It seemed that Sebastian had both forgotten to inform Miss Hughes that she would have the day to herself and that he was to spend his day at the docks with his Uncle. Resisting the urge to shake his head at the boy he simply leaned against the doorway and smiled slightly.
“I take it that you neglected to remember our plans for the day Sebastian?” he asked. The boy blinked once and then realization dawned. His face turned slightly red with embarrassment but he managed to rally rather quickly.
“Oh! No, I didn’t really forget… I just thought you would like for me to work on my lessons until it was time to go.”
“Of course you did,” he said bemusedly. He could feel his gaze being pulled to Miss Hughes and for the first time since entering the room he hazarded a direct look at her. She sat calmly with her hands folded delicately in her lap as was her habit and smiled naturally as their eyes met. Her hair was neatly pulled back in the appropriate fashion for a governess but he could still imagine how it would curl around her neck and shoulders as it had the first day he had met her. Had it only been yesterday since he had seen her last? It felt like weeks had passed. No, he thought. This would be much harder than words could say.
“Sorry, my dear nephew’s memory has apparently lapsed. I’m taking him on a bit of a field trip today, to go see one of the newly completed ships at the docks. We’ll probably return too late to continue lessons so you will have the day to yourself. Forgive me for not letting you know of our plans sooner; it seems I relied too heavily on Sebastian’s ability to pass on information.”
“There’s no need to worry, sir,” she said formally. “There is nothing to forgive.” His gaze stayed locked on hers, somehow unable to tear it away and equally unable to care. He couldn’t escape the idea that she wasn’t eluding to his and Sebastian’s outing when she mentioned forgiveness. Was she upset with him for basically ignoring her over the last few days? Or was this her way of saying that they were making the right decision by not pursuing any relationship besides a professional one? Perhaps it was neither and he was becoming paranoid as well as infatuated. Luckily for him he didn’t have long to dwell on these disconcerting ideas and was quickly moved on to new and equally alarming ones.
“Why can’t Miss Hughes come with us?” His gaze snapped away from Nicky’s, completely taken aback by his nephew’s suggestion. The idea of her going with them had not even crossed his mind, if he were being honest. But he wasn’t the only one who seemed to be surprised by Sebastian’s proposal.
“I’m sure I would just be in the way Sebastian. The two of you would have more fun without me there I’m sure.”
Sebastian looked slightly puzzled and said, “You said something just the other day about how interesting modern ships were and how you had never seen one before. Wouldn’t this be a good time to do that?”
It was Nicky’s turn to blush as she stared a hole through the floor and muttered something about not wanting to be a bother and plenty of other opportunities, surely. Bracken couldn’t deny the fact that her going with them would be awkward but now that he knew she had never seen a modern vessel before the temptation to take her was just too much. He supposed it wouldn’t be too out of the ordinary to bring a governess out to an event like this but even if it wasn’t, society could go hang itself.