Experiences Book 1: The Story of a Girl

[Friday]

So, I'm starting over with this one, cuz I've gotten inspiration to write on it but I'm going to do it different than the first one. Start it different mainly and in 1st person. s0 here goes the second attempt.

[Friday]

This is the story of a girl, who cried a river and drowned the whole world....

Or maybe not, that's just a song. But this is a story of a girl. Life, laughter, love.... tears, pain, loses. It's all here. Now you can take just any girl and tell the story of her life and get a bestseller. But this is about one specific girl and her expirences in finding love and, most of all, finding herself.

[Friday]

Chapter 1: The First Love

I guess before anything, I should start out with my name. My name is Kasey May Parker. Right now I'm eighteen and a senior in highschool. And this isn't a diary. Let's think of this as more of a... I don't know, memories, a recording of events, I'll even give you journal. But none of this Dear Diary business or dates. Time is irrelavent in the big scheme of things. I've learned that the hard way, because it doesn't matter how long ago you left someone, there is always a piece of you that still loves them.

Before I pick up where I am now in life, we need to go back a little bit. Back to when I was still innocent and naive to the world of boys. To the "first love". The one that's not head-over-heels-die-for-you kinda love, but the one you swore would last forever. You just weren't experienced enough to know the difference. The one where you aren't really in love. The one that's exploring, learning, really nothing more than sugar coated candy and lasts just about as long.

So, going back to this puts me to be... Oh, about 16. Just before I turned 16 actually. This was the beginning of my sophmore year, when high school actually starts. Fish year, well what I remember of it anyways (I try to block it out), was nothing more than getting dumped into a world of strangers and the bottom of the food chain.

Going into sophmore year I was generally known by most of the school population, which was around 2,000, as absolutely insane. I was ranked 14th in my class out of 495. Yay me! Top 3%. Those were the days.... But besides being academically in good standing, I was also athletic and musical and a bit of country. Soccer, band and FFA. That's a hefty plate for one 15 year old, but I handled it as a fish, so no reason I couldn't do it this year. So, since I attempted it all, I was thoroughly insane.

All of this, especially band, meant I didn't get my full 3 months of summer. The last month of summer was devoted to band camp. So, one time at band camp, (you were all thinking it so I might as well say it) I met a boy. Now as you can imagine, I was the goody too shoo girl, the one that had her nose in a book all the time, never did anything against her parents kind of kid. Now this boy... not so much. He was a fish, so this was my first time meeting him. And despite everything, I was attracted to this skater boy (sk8ter boi for all my Avril fans).

But this was also the first boy I'd really even wanted to pursue a relationship with. Besides the couple guy friends I had on Guild Wars, an online game (nerd! I know), I'd never even really flirted much with guys. I tended to flirt shamelessly with my two online guy friends, there was no harm in it. I would never meet them in person and nothing would ever come of it (or so I thought at the time). So hampered by my shyness and my parents "you can't date until you get married and you can't get married til you're 32" rule, there was nothing I could do but oogle from afar.

[Wednesday]

((I like it already))

[Friday]

So, for the whole entirity of band camp I wacthed this boy, who was goofy and silly, and just fun. I envied the way he didn't care about anything. There is always something for me to stress about, and there is always something, I have stressed about. Never not been that way. There has only been a few times in my life where I was completely care free, and just didn't care what anyone thought. Sam, however, never cared when the band directors yelled at him, it didn't bother him when he got in trouble. Where I on the other hand, would have to fight tears if I was getting in trouble. And yet strangely despite the fact that we were opposites at least in the way we acted (or would it be reacted?) , I was attracted to this rebel.

After three weeks of nothing more exchanged than a few hello's I finally got my chance to really flirt with this guy. To actually have a conversation with him and get to know him. This was at the end of camp pool party. I still remember that sunny, August day at the pool, eating pizza, drinking Dr. Pepper and just hanging with my girl friends. Elizebeth, here on out called Lizzy, and Sidney. We'd been together since middle school and always stuck with each other, especailly Lizzy and Sidney. Those two while not alike in personality have most of the same goals in life and like the same things. I however, while friends with them, still had different interests. And out of this little group I was by far the most outgoing. So when Sam appraoched our little group through the water it was all I could do to stay calm and cool.

So Sam came over and started talking to me, I could tell that this was a mutual interest. With him Sam had brought a beach ball which he was casually lounging on floating in the water next to me. When he rocked a little too far one way and the ball came floating up from under neath it, I seezed and started floating on it myself.

"It's MY ball now," I told him, giving him my best flirty smile. Let's remember that up until this point I wasn't sure of what I was supposed to do or how boys would react. All I knew of boys were my Guild Wars buddies. Arnold and Dewayne, and I wouldn't say they were necessarily normal, I mean it was online for crying out loud. Somewhere in all of this, Lizzy and Sidney had slipped off leaving me somewhat alone with Sam (Not sure how really alone you can be with someone in one community pool with about 100 teenagers).

"We'll, I'll let you have my ball," Sam replied with a glint in his eye all boys get when there mind takes something in a perverted way (which is alot). Score one for Kasey, I'd obviously said and made the correct playful, flirty move.

So our little exchange went on like this for a while, and by the end of the pool party I was relatively certain that he was interested in me. If there was any indication from the fact I was wearing his Hurley hat when it was all over, having claimed "this is my hat". This led to the exchange of Myspace info and even phone numbers. It seemed for a first timer like myself I wasn't doing too bad. At the end of the day I regretfully gave his hat back and then headed straight home to do what any love-struck teenager does. Hit up the Myspace.

[Friday]

So once I hit the myspace, I waited, and waited. Refreshing the screen every five minutes hoping Sam had accepted my friend request. I wasn't disappointed. That very same night, he accepted me and had sent me a message. Just those few words sent back and forth made butterflies erupt in my tummy.

This went on for a couple of weeks when finally, what I had been waiting for had actually happened. I can still remember those messages that ultimately changed my life.

Sam: so what r u up to?
Kasey: Right now I'm pretty much listening to music, talking to you, and avoiding sierra's questions about who i like.
Sam: lol ok who do u like?? lol
Kasey: well.... who do you like??? lol
Sam: idk really i think i like u
Kasey: really....??
Sam: ya
Kasey: well i kinda like u
Sam: really ur not just sayin cuz im sexy lol jk cool how much do u like me??
Kasey: no i seriously do like you. uumm i like you a lot.
Sam: enough to go out with me?
Kasey: yes
Sam: so do u wanna go out with me
Kasey: yes, do you wanna go out with me?
Sam: ya i do
Kasey: ok then. lol.
Sam: ok then sorry i hav to go tho ttyl luv ya

Let me tell you, I was one happy 15 year old that night. I was so excited. I couldn't wait until the next day when I would actually get to see boyfriend. Let me highlight that BOYFRIEND. Specifically, my first boyfriend. I was the first in my group of friends to actually get a boyfriend. I couldn't wait to tell Lizzy and Sidney about this when I saw them at school tomorrow.

But there was two, well, actually three people I couldn't tell. At least not yet. My mom, my step-dad, and my real dad. First off both of my dad's, even though the joke was I couldn't date til I was married and I can't marry until I'm 32, they realistic age was 16. And I was still 4 months away from my 16th birthday. I was at a definite conflict.

[Friday]

To Tell or Not to Tell, That is the question (Damn I hate Hamlet, look what it has done to me). For the first time in my life I was doing something that was WAY against the rules. And I kinda liked it. It wasn't fair that my 13 year-old brother could have a girlfriend, but me a month away from 16 couldn't. But lifes not fair, just another lesson I learned the hard way. But back on topic, I decided to hold off on telling my parents. That could wait, I would need the right time to introduce and telling my my dad, either one of them, was out of the question. So for the moment, I decided to live in the moment and just let time work everything out.

Waking up the next morning, I have to tell you it was one of the only times I was really interested in going to school, like didn't mind riding the smelly, loud school bus or actually having to sit in classes. It was all worth it if I got to see my boyfriend. I was kinda nervous and excited at the same time. I really wanted to see Sam, but I was unsure of how it was going to work.

I'd known from all our talking that he had had girlfriends before and had kissed a few of those. I on the other hand, had no boy expierence whatsoever. Never kissed a boy, never held hands with a boy, didn't even know how to go about doing those things. I just hoped that he would ease me into it. Yes, I wanted a kiss but I didn't want to be making out or anything right off the bat. So off to school I went with that mix of dread and excitement.

When I got there I found Lizzy and Sidney as soon as I could bubbling with my excitement. I knew Sam's bus got there later so I would have a little bit of time with them before I had to see him.

"So I have something to tell ya'll," I told the two of them. I can still remember my barely conained smile and the surprised eager looks on thier faces. I didn't, couldn't, wait for a reply before it blurted out of me. "I have a boyfriend," I told them matter of factly.

"Oh my God, who is it?" Lizzy asked grabbing my shoulders so I was facing her.

"It's Sam, isn't it?" Sidney asked. She has always noticed more than Lizzy has, I'm sure had seen this coming from a mile away.

"Yes!" I can remember telling them every little detail about how it happened, and just how excited I was. I hadn't really told many people that I had liked him enough to date him. I wasn't sure how he felt and I didn't want that to get out. "I can't wait to see him, but I'm kinda nervous," I confided into them.

"It will be just fine," Lizzy assured me. "You, by far, are the most comfortable with boys out of the three of us, and it will be no different with Sam. Just be the same as you have been with him. You flirt all the time with Arnold and Dewayne, this is just in person." I'd told them about my "internet boys" as we'd taken to referring to them as.

"Yeah, just be yourself," Sidney quickly agreed. Since she was commonly known as ou group therapist, I was fairly certain she would be right. "Everything will work out just fine."

Just then I saw Sam walk through the doors of the band hall, and my heart did that little flutter thing. Still to this day, my heart flutters when I see a the guy I like. It's a good feeling. It gets me all excited and makes me happy. I don't ever want to lose than feeling. The feeling you get from your first love. No one should ever lose that feeling.

I could see his eyes dart around the band hall as if he was looking for someone. When his eyes met mine he flashed me a smile and started walking over to me. I remember giving him a shy smile back. I wasn't sure how this worked. But he came up to our little group and started talking to me, just the normal everyday "hey, what's up" stuff.

I shouldn't have ever been worried. The bell rang for use to head for class and instead of how it usually was, all of us going our separate ways. Sam's hand slid into mine and he walked with me to my class. His hand felt big and strong around mine, and it felt right. It was a comfortable, comforting feeling. In that moment I didn't ever know why I had be nervous about it. It was all right.

[Friday]

I'm going to fast forward this next week. Everyone knows how normal relationships start. Slow, easy, no pushing. And so it was with Sam and me. We held hands, we ate lunch together, we talked on the phone, we made plans to go out. It is this first outing that I want to bring us to. It was Labor Day weekend and Sam and I had planned to go to the mall and hang out on Monday since we didn't have school. I was looking forward to it. This would be our first time together that wasn't in a school setting.

I at least had one huge flaw. I had no way to get there. I was just 15, I didn't have my lisence yet. But I wished I did. My mom wasn't just going to take me to the mall, with no reason and she didn't know about Sam. So, I ran into a problem. I had to tell her.

So, I told her, and amazingly, she was alright with it. She told me she would rather her tell me than keep it a secret. But under no condition were we to tell my father (either one of them). That was just a big no no. And not only that she agreed to take me to the mall to hang out with Sam, one condition though, I had to bring my friends. Oh, well. I could live with that.

So that Monday, Lizzy, Sidney and I headed out to the mall. I was all excited. Looking back on it now I miss those little things that made me so happy. Those are few and far between now.

I remember my mom pulling up to the entrance of the food court and all three of us piling out of the mini-van. We all coursed our Thank-yous and quickly headed into the mall. As soon as we were inside the doors I scanned the area for Sam. He was supposed to meet us at the food court, but we were late. My mom has a tendency to run late for everything. But it wasn't long before I spotted that black, Hurley hat.

He seemed to spot me at the same time and we threaded through the people to get to each other. Naturally, Lizzy and Sidney followed. So it started out like that. The four of us walking through the mall, just talking. It wasn't long though before Lizzy and Sidney left, leaving me alone with Sam (or as alone as you can get in a crowded mall).

We went off and I still remember how he bought a cinnamon-sugar pretzel from Auntie-Ann's and a blue Gatorade that we shared. To this day I still think of that when I walk by an Auntie Ann's. It's amazing how some memories will stay with you.

Since neither one of us really had money, we just aimlessly wandered around, finally returning to the food court when we had been all over the mall what had to be at least twice. We still had thirty minutes til our parents were scheduled to pick us up so I found a booth and slid into the far side and he slid in after me. We sat there talking when he asked me a question. One that I had been waiting for, or at least the outcome it would bring.

"Have you ever been kissed?" He asked looking over at me. I could feel his strong hand around mine as he thumb stroked mine. My heart rate jumped up and I couldn't help but think he must be able to feel just how fast my pulse was racing.

Now, I want to set something straight. You know those girls, in books, that make out with their best friends for practice or whatever. One word. No. Ok, that's just wrong. I've never met anyone in my entire life that has ever done that. I've never even thought about it. No, no one does that. And if you do it, well I'm sorry if I just offended you but... You're weird.

So, I replied truthfully, "No." I'm pretty sure we had had this conversation before in all our MySpace messsaging but that was pre us dating so it was natrual to ask it again I guess.

"Well, do want to be kissed?" He asked. There was an eager edge in his voice, it was then I knew that he wanted to kiss me. A guy wanted to kiss me. As if my heart wasn't pumping fast enough, I'm pretty sure it missed a few beats, and the butterflies in my stomach went into overdrive.

"Yes," I replied shyly, I was too keyed up to do more than nod my head and make that small reply.

"Would it be ok if I kissed you?"

As he said this I noticed him leaning in closer to me. I could feel his breath on my cheeck and I knew for sure my heart was going to pound out of my chest. I nodded, my eyes wide, portraying every willingness to be kissed (at least that's how I pictured myself). I couldn't help but look at his lips as they neared mine, a slight smile was there.

I felt his lips on mine and for a second I forgot where I was. They were soft and gentle. They weren't demanding. It was just a simple kiss. But my heart skipped several beats and it felt like it was soaring out of my chest. I thought maybe I could fly too. He pulled a way a little bit and I opened my eyes I couldn't remember closing to meet his. He leaned in again and this time I leaned into the kiss too (I was always a fast learner). In that one moment I was in love. It was beautiful. Like all first kisses should be.

This is when I discovered something. I liked kissing. I liked kissing a lot. I still like kissing, and of course being kissed.

[Friday]

As we all left the mall Sam and I lagged behind and as everyone else walked out the doors he pulled me to the side out of view and kissed me one last time. I was happy, it was nice.

As I clambered into the back seat of the mini van with Lizzy and Sidney, I knew I had it coming from the eagerness in their eyes. They pushed me down into the middle seat and a pen and paper were shoved into my hands, the paper already had a question written on it:
Did you kiss him?

I remember feeling really excited all over again. Reliving the moment as I would that entire night. And I felt accomplished. I was the first one out of our little goup of friends that had gotten a kiss. At that time I had no idea how far ahead I got the jump on everyone else for that one.
Yes
Omg. When?
Not too long before we left was the first time, when we were at the food court.
There was more than one?!?
Yes... definitely more than one.
You are so lucky.
Yeah, I am.

And I was lucky. What more could a girl want? I had just gotten my first kiss, been on my first date, found a boy I "loved". Everything was pretty alright in my world.

[Friday]

I hate to admit it but I was such a typical girl. Jumping into a relationship and thinking "he's the one" and "we could last forever". I know the difference now. And I wish I could save others, and show them the truth. But that is really one of those things you have to experience.

So I went through that month, planning in my mind all we could be, and what would happen. But most of all, I spent that month having fun. I could have dealt without the three hour band practices every day after school. And all the homework my AP World History teacher insisted on giving us, but those Friday night lights made up for it. I was a sophomore in band this year, I wasn't the little fish anymore. And I now had a higher place at least on the marching field. I'm not trying to brag but I was good. I could march. Maybe it was all those years of soccer and that I was coordinated and physically fit, but I could march, and I was definitely one of the better ones on the field. And not only that I caught on to things fast. The new drill I would learn in one run (so maybe I am bragging just a little bit...). But marching was my passion, and I was determined to excell.

And I lived for those Friday night games. I'm still convinced that people come to football games to watch the bands at half-time. And with the skill of our football team... Well, let's just say that was probably true. I was proud to wear our red and black unifroms despite the fact that we looked like we had been zapped out of a Star Trek episode. No lie. Black bibs (the pants that come up like overalls for all my non band nerds), top that was red in front and plain black on the back, and to top it off, a silver V on the left side of the chest that was the only decoration. Everyone called us the Trekkies. I even wore that name with pride.

It didn't matter that there were over a thousand people watching me. The lights glare didn't bother me. That feeling at the end of the show you get when you know you nailed everything perfect made up everything for it. Made all the long practices and hot days and summer band camp all worth it.

And even not being on the field was fun. As the flute section we were always right up on the front row in teh bleachers. And it was always a party with us. Making up silly dances to the drum candences, and just having a good time. I didn't always stay in the flute section though. I tended to make my rounds through all the woodwind sections. I was allowed this privilage mainly because I braided everyone's hair. That was a big thing to the band directors. They were almost OCD about everyone having their hair all tucked up into their hats while they were marching. So my first two quarters of every game were spent doing that. Which allowed me to see Sam.

[Friday]

Sidney played the Alto Sax for marching season since you can't march with a bassoon and that was her primary instrument. Sam played Bari Sax. I always took longest doing Sydney's hair just so I could be closer to Sam. We didn't spend a lot of time together outside of school because neither one of us could drive so natrually I wanted to spend every minute I could with him while I was at school, and at school related functions, like band (which included my beloved football games).

Now I'm going to go on a side note here, but I hate school buses. I loathe them with a passion. I would se any excuse I could to get out or riding on a shcool bus. But riding the school bus to football games... I didn't really mind. I liked those rides a lot... Like I liked kissing a lot... If you get my drift.

On the buses to and from football games (more importantly from since it was dark then) is when Sam and I had "our" time. At least as much as you can get on a bus full of band nerds. We would hold hands, slouch low in our seat, share little kisses and his iPod listening to Def Leppard Pour Some Sugar On Me. Now I'm not going to say we never made out on those bus rides, because we did, but it was nothing compared to what Trent and Tina would do on the bus (at least while Tina was passing and able to go to football games). They generally sat in the seat across from us, while Liz and Sydney sat in front of us. Trent, Liz and I were in the same WHAP class (Wolrd History Advanced Placement for those who don't use acronyms). So the three of us were pretty good friends. But anyways, back on topic, Trent and Tina would be all over each other all the time on the bus. I was just kind of disgusted. Little did i know then just how much things would change.

[Friday]

Despite the fact that we were barely starting our relationship and didn't even know each other that well, the "L" word popped up. And when you're 15, and somebody tells you they love you you're going to believe them (Taylor Swift's word's just fit so well here). And even though I knew in my head and in my heart, that I wasn't in love with him, and didn't love him like that even, I couldn't stop myself from saying those same words back. Couldn't keep my mouth from uttering those 3 simple words, yet when strung togeter could be so deadly.

I love you. It's not so much to say when you're joking around or wanting something. I was a pro at the lines 'oh come on, you know I love you' or the ever working 'you know I love you so much'. Or even when you're online and you get the 'i luv u' or 'i <3 u', it infinitely means the same thing. Those are defenitely different. They aren't as serious, as potent as the real deal. But now that I'm really thinking about I probably say I love you every day of my life, to my parents and sibilings, and just messing around with my friends who I do really love in there own way. But I didn't love Sam, but I said it anyways. I didn't realize the intensity of that one word. It holds so much promise in it. I didn't know it with Sam, but I learned it fast after that.

Despite all of this I "loved" Sam apparently. I'm positive now that that wasn't the case for either one of us. We were both young and... well... rather stupid. Not that I was usually stupid, but he was never known for his smarts. No one understood why we were together, we were utterly oppisite of each other. Although, I've always kind of had a thing for the bad boys (I recently took a trip to a beach with my girlfriends, and when picking out what type of boy we all liked every one pinned me for the bad boys). And it was too soon for me then when our relationship ended.

[Friday]

I can still remember our last kiss. It was the same day we debated all day whether his shirt was orange or red (I know now that sometime red and oranges appear different to different people, so when I saw orange he saw red, funny how that works). We were at the T corner of the science hallway. He had been drinking a Dr. Pepper and I could taste it on his lips. That was a Tuesday.

After then he stopped sitting me at lunch, he stopped holding my hand, disappeared off IM, and it was then that I knew it was over. That friday night he didn't sit with me on the bus to and from the football game. I ended up sitting next to Trent, he was my friend and Sam's, and Tina had failed so wasn't going to the game. I cried. I knew it was over but I cried. I knew we weren't going to go anywhere but I still cried. Then Sidney and Lizzy kicked Trent out of the seat and they came and the three of us sat in the one, now cramped bus seat and they comforted me like real friends do. That helped me a lot. It was good to know that they were there for me, and always would be.

I tried to talk to Trent about it. "Why won't he talk to me?" I asked him, confused, why didn't he just break up with me? That's what was going to happen to us, I don't know why he wouldn't do it.

"You'll just have to talk to him," Trent had told me.

"But he's not talking to me," I told him getting frustrated despite the slight hurt.

"He will just give him time."

Time. Alright. Time. I waited all that weekend, I didn't even attempt to talk to him. Of course by then I was utterly surprised when I got a message on myspace from him on Sunday night. All it said was "We need to talk tomorrow morning." No 'xoxo' no 'luv u'. I think I cried again. I'm not sure. But Monday morning came, and I was resigned to it. I knew it was going to be better like this anyway. So I faced Sam with stength. I was done crying over him

He found me in the Band Hall and pulled me away from my friends. Despite the fact I knew what was coming, I felt the lump in my stomach.

"This isn't really working out, Kasey.." he told me when were away from other people.

"I know I agree," I told him and nodded, I was going to go theough with this. I wasn't going to be completely dumped.

"Friends still?" He asked looking at me, with the old look in his eyes.

I genuiely had to smile at that. "Always," I told him and he pulled me into a hug. That was the last time he hugged me. We still talked, but it took as a while to get past the awkward post break up stage. And now I don't talk to him anymore. But I still never forgot him.

[Friday]

Chapter 2: The Single Life

Now, after I dated Sam, I was single for the longest amount of time I've been in between relationships. Besides the three months that was between Sam and my next relationship I could probably count the number of days I have been single on both hands ever since my second boyfrined. Which we will get into him a bit later, but for now... this period of time is what I like to refer to as my single days.

Sam was no longer in the picture, and when I wasn't actually going out with him it was easy to see he wasn't that smart. Not smart enough for me in any case. He was no refered to as Sam Sam, cave man, Sam. For a few reasons. He wasn't bright, he was my "primative" boyfriend, and the name just fit.

I still flirted with Dewanye and Arnolld online, and by now I was texting Arnold all the time. We had gotten to be really good friends and we could talk about anything for hours. Making conversation was just easy with him. Dewayne was still quiet but he was slowly talking to me more. I think this was around the time they made me guild leader of our guild on our gam Guild wars (well that wasn't confusing at all...). So they were "my boys" They lost the internet part. Even if I hadn't met them yet, they were some of my best friends.

But at this time, someone else starting coming into view. Trent. Ever since that first foot ball game that I sat with him right before mine and Sam's break up we sat together ever since. He sat behind me in WHAP, and we were starting to become good friends too. I actually started liking him. Tall, aby face cute, cuddly, class clown, Trent. It was weird. But there was nothing I could do about it. He was still dating Tina, but besides that I thought that he liked me too.

[Friday]

So not only was I talking to Arnold and Dewanye, and of course Trent, there was an old friend that I was starting to see in a different light. DJ. We had always been friends, and we sat next to each other in our algebra 2 class, and we marched together in the third movement of our half time show for band. So we had mutual friends and we talked occasionally.

One day before Algebra, and I remember looking over at him and he was reading The Lone Drow by R.A. Salvatore. I couldn't believe it. I had read most of his books, and all of them concerning Drizzit including the one he had open on the desk before him. Most of the time I got made fun of for reading stuff like that. None of my other friends were into the fantasy sci-fi books like I was.

DJ must have seen me watching him and he looked over at me. "What?" he questioned.

"Oh it's nothing, I just couldn't help but notice the book you were reading. I read those too, and I haven't met anyone else who has," I had told him still slightly surprised by my new discovery.

"Oh really? What all have you read?" DJ asked setting his book down. And this was what started a new level to our friendship. We started talking all the time about the books we had read that we had in common, reccomendations we thoguht the other might enjoy. This progressed past school and went on the MySpace. It was a different relationship one that I wasn't quite used to having with a boy but a relationship all the same. And one that I couldn't help but look farther into.

DJ and I read the same books. Watched the same movies. Played the same video games Were interested in a lot of the same things. I liked him as a friend, but I could easily see me liking him as more than a friend too.

Was is possible to like more than one pesron at a time?

Now you have to remember. I was a sophomore in highschool, not even 16 yet. I was just then starting to get involved in the intricacies of relationships, boyfriends, and love. I didn't understand or really even know what I should be doing. I was learning as I went, and discovering that I liked this world of boys.

But at this time I was confused. Arnold was my best guy friend. Trent was my crush. And DJ was a friend, possibly could be more than just a friend. I was unintentionally doing what I have to strive to do today. I was keeping my options open. I didn't realize it at the time. But's that was what it was.

And yes, it is ok to like more than one person.