Post by Friday on Nov 13, 2008 19:14:17 GMT -5
Even though the day was bright and sunny outside, inside for Lena it was gray and dreary. It was a Saturday and all Lena could do was watch the neighborhood come out around her. She was stuck inside, her parents not allowing her to go anywhere. It seemed the only place she was allowed to go was school. Any time she wanted to do anything with her friends, she always got a rebuking no from her mother.
Her mother was a workaholic. To Lena it seemed all she did was work. She worked from 8-5 and then usually brought her work home with her. Her mother, Melinda, seemed only to be happy when she was working or with her youngest child, Jeremy.
Jeremy was the high point in Melinda and her husband, Jerry's, lives. He was the star athlete. Quarterback for the varsity football team his freshman year. Everything about him was perfect. Everyone liked him, he was outgoing, and beautiful. His parents, his mom at least, were there cheering him on at every game and would give anything to their son if he asked for it.
Jerry, the father of Lena and Jeremy, was not always around. Like his wife Melinda he seemed to have a passion for working. Unlike Melinda though, he was always working somewhere else. His job took him all over the country working in one place for 6 months to a year before moving on to the next place. He was only on on occasional weekends, holidays, and in between jobs. He spent no time involved in either of his children's lives.
Lena could here her younger brother, Jeremy, talking to their mother downstairs. He was asking if he could go over to one of his friends houses. Of course Melinda said yes to her beloved son.
Lena sighed in frustration. Lena never got anything she wanted, and Jeremy had everything handed to him from their parents. She looked at her fluffy, black dog sitting next to her chair and whispered to him, “Looks like I'm stuck at home again. And chances are Mom is about to head out to the office. And I'm going to have clean the house and have dinner ready before she gets home.” Her dog, Teddy, looked up at her with sympathetic eyes. It was almost as if he understood the feeling of captivity that Lena felt. Which wasn't surprising since Teddy was her greatest confidant. The only think he was lacking was a voice to comfort her with.
As if on cue, Lena heard her name being hollered from downstairs. “Lena! Come down here!”
She sighed again and headed downstairs immediately. Teddy faithful as ever, followed closely at her heels. When she didn't see her mother in the living room she headed directly to her office. Melinda was there packing up her laptop and her other stuff for work. “Lena, I have to go to the office today. I need you to clean the kitchen and the living room. Jeremy is spending the night at Chad's house and won't be back until tomorrow. Oh and, have dinner ready by 6:30. Your grandmother is coming over tonight and it will be a girl's night. I should be home around then.” She had finished her packing up about the time she finished her speech and picked up her things and maneuvered around the prone Lena and walked out the front door without another word.
Lena just stood there dejected. She had a long day ahead of her. Her brother and friends had been at the house after the football game last night and trashed the living room and kitchen. It would take a good amount of time to get everything clean. Not to mention the mound of homework sitting in her room. And to top it off her Grandmother would be there. Something about the old lady always made her feel small, insignificant, and unworthy of anything. Sighing dejectedly she walked into the kitchen and began picking up the soda cans that littered the counters. It was going to be a long day.
It was 6:15 and Lena was pulling the casserole out of the oven. She had put together a macaroni casserole with a side of corn and steamed carrots. The aromas of the kitchen were making her mouth water but she knew she had to wait until her mother and grandmother were there before she could eat.
Looking around her she was pretty proud of her work. The kitchen was clean except for the pots and pans she used to make dinner, which she would clean up after dinner. The living room was picked up and she had gotten all of her math homework done.
Just then her mother came in through the front door and immediately her eyes flashed around the house, checking that Lena had done everything as she was told. She gave a slight nod of her head when she saw everything was clean and then helped her mother inside. The old woman didn't waste a second before she was critiquing Lena. “My, my dear girl,” she exclaimed. “Are you eating? You are far too thin. And your hair always looks like that. Do you ever change it?”
Lena held back to roll her eyes as she carefully smoothed out her shirt and ran a hand through her straight her that was down like it always was. Her grandmother always made her feel so self conscious about herself. It wasn't enough that she was practically a slave to her mother but her grandmother came around and made her feel completely worthless. She didn't respond just continued setting plates out on the table.
Dinner went by with much of the same fashion. Lena listened but said nothing as her grandmother found flaws with everything. Her hair, her clothes, the way she ate, the way she cleaned up, and any little thing that she could possibly find to complain about. By the end of dinner Lena's nerves were raw with all the criticism and she wasn't sure how much more she could take. She almost lost it when her mother looked at her with a sad expression on her face and said, “Why can't you be more like your brother?”
Lena stayed silent. There was no way she was going to let on to how much this remark hurt her compared to all the others. She didn't understand how her mother could say something like that when it was Lena who had practically raised Jeremy. She was the one that made sure his laundry got done, along with the rest of the family's, that his lunch was always packed for school, and that he always got his homework done. Lena wanted to point out that she was more of his mother than she could ever be. She held her tongue barely. It wouldn't be acceptable for Lena to talk back to her mother. And she really didn't want to have to do whatever punishment her mother thought up.
“Clean up dinner please,” Melinda told her daughter and scooted away from the table, not only just leaving the extra food but her used plate as well.
“Yes...” Lena mumbled reluctantly.
“Yes, what?” Her mother snapped, glaring at her.
Lena glared back and drew herself up, almost as if she was going to retaliate. But she just slumped back, her stature noticeably falling and said, “Yes, Ma'am.” The she obediently turned and started picking up the dirty plates from the table.
“That's better.... Remember where you came from? I can always send you back.” Melinda turned on her heel and went with her mother into the living room where they turned on the TV to some soap opera.
Lena looked up as her mother left the room her eyes blazing at the retreating back. A single tear fell down her cheek, and fell unnoticed by anyone on the table. She wiped her eyes hastily with the back of her hand. It wouldn't do for her mother to see that. She would just get told she was a baby. Sucking in a gulp of air, she grabbed the plates in her hand and took them over to the sink and dropped them loudly. All that happened was the TV in the living room got louder in volume.
That night Lena lay in her bed staring at the ceiling, her teddy bear, Alex, held tightly in her arms. Lying on the mattress next to her a pink diary lay open to the latest entry, blotted with tear drops.
Dear Diary,
It happened again tonight. She brought up how I couldn't be more like Jeremy, and I got the 'I'll send you back threat' again. What do I have to do to be good enough for her? I owe her my gratitude... But do I owe her the slavery she has entrapped me in. I wonder if Jeremy would be alright without me.
Maybe I would be better off going back....
She was still crying softly, but she was safe now. It was late and her mom was in her room asleep or watching some show. Lena liked it best at night. That was her own time. No one was there to boss her around and tell her what to do. No one was there to criticize her. No one was there to hurt her.
She looked to the clock and saw the green numbers flashing 11:11. “Make a wish Alex,” she whispered, “It's 11:11, maybe it will come true.” She closed her eyes tight and wished. “Save me....”
With her eyes clenched tight determined not to look at the clock until 11:11 passed, Lena fell asleep hoping that this time maybe her wish would come true.
Lena woke up that Sunday morning and groaned. She did not want to get up today. Her head was throbbing and she knew it was from crying the previous night. She always got headaches when she fell asleep crying. She pulled the covers over head against the light flooding through the window and curled up again. Just then Teddy whined from her bedroom door scratching on it.
Lena sighed and then through off her blanket and rolled out of bed. Opening her bedroom door, Teddy shot out of it and Lena followed. “Guess you have to go to the bathroom.” Her theory was confirmed when the black dog ran downstairs and stood at the door leading to the backyard, once again letting out a small whine. “I'm coming, I'm coming,” Lena told him following him slower still not awake yet.
She let Teddy outside and then yawned and scratched her head. Since she was up she might as well be up. The tile floor was cool on her bare feet as she walked into the the kitchen heading towards the pantry. Pulling out the pancake mix she went about making breakfast. She made one special pancake with chocolate chips in it. Ever since Lena had taken over breakfast he had always gotten one. And even though he wasn't back from Chad's house, Lena knew he would be. He never missed pancake Sunday.
She flipped the pancakes into the air. She was really good at cooking. Which wasn't surprising since she did almost all the cooking in the house. She used the last of the batter and wrapped foil around the stacked pancakes. She would wait to eat until her brother got home.
She went back up the stairs to her bathroom and started getting ready for the day. She looked at herself closely in the mirror. Her grandmother's comments still fresh in her head from the previous night. She poked at her ribs and then frowned. Was she really too thin? She ran her fingers through her hair. Was her hair really all that bad? She frowned at her reflection in the mirror. She didn't see anything wrong with herself. Yes she was skinny, but she didn't think she was too thin. Sure she didn't do much with her hair, but it was long, pretty and straight. Sighing, she got into the shower determined not to let such thoughts and her grandmother's remarks bother her.
After her shower, she felt a little better and it helped get rid of her headache and sooth the troubling thoughts about her looks. She went downstairs and found Jeremy sitting on the couch watching ESPN with Chad. Jeremy smiled when he saw his sister. “Took you long enough, I'm starving.”
Chad looked up from the TV and gave her a nod, “Hey Lena.”
“Good morning, Chad. I'm assuming you're staying for breakfast?”
“You bet I am,”Chad answered with a smile. “I'm not going to pass up an offer on your pancakes.”
That sent the three of them laughing as the two boys followed Lena into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Lena grabbed the plated and pancakes and sat down with the boys. All three of them dug in happy to have food.
“As usual, Lena, these are the best I've ever had,” Chad complimented her with a full mouth. That was one thing Lena liked about all of Jeremy's friends. They were all nice to her and appreciated her, even if it was only for her cooking.
“Don't talk when you're chewing, it's not polite,” Jeremy told his friend with a full mouth of his own. “And stop flirting with my sister. She's too old for you anyways.”
That sent the three of them laughing and Chad choked on his pancakes before any of them could get over themselves. Lena liked being with Jeremy and his friends. They always seemed to make her laugh.
Lena was clearing up the breakfast with the help of the boys when their mother emerged from her room. Lena automatically averted her eyes from her mother and didn't say anything. “Jeremy, you're home,” Melinda said coming up to her son and giving him a hug. “Your grandmother was here last night, she was sorry she missed you. And good morning Chad. It's good to see you again.”
Lena just rolled her eyes thankful to be out of her mother's attention for the moment. As long as she was focused on Jeremy she seemed to leave Lena alone. “Oh, Lena, I need you to do my laundry today. I might go out with the girls later if I'm not too busy with work.” Lena stopped herself from throwing the plate she held in her hands at he mother's head. Would there ever be one day where Lena wouldn't have to do anything for her mother? Would there ever just be one day she had for herself?
Melinda walked out of the kitchen, and into her office leaving the kids alone. Jeremy immediately went to Lena's side and rubbed her back gently. Unlike there mother, he could tell when Lena was annoyed and stressed. “I'm sorry, Lena...” Jeremy said quietly.
Chad whistled. “Wow Lena, you didn't even get a good morning.” Chad was a common guest at the house and he knew how Lena was treated. At this point he was just trying to cheer her up, even if only a little. He always helped Jeremy help her in anyway he could. Lena was such a sweet girl and she seemed to always have stuff for Jeremy and his friends. It was almost like Lena was the mother, and Melinda was just a guest in her own house.
Lena just shrugged, she hated breaking down in front of her brother. If it had been any of his friends except Chad, Lena wouldn't have even shown the slight emotion that she had. She was so used to Chad being around though it was just like another Jeremy. Another little brother to care for.
“Eh, I needed to do my laundry anyways,” she said trying her best to just shrug it off.
Neither one of the boys believed her but didn't say anything. “Well, Chad and I are off to go throw around a football and maybe set up a mini game if enough people show up. If you need anything Lena just come get me,” Jeremy told his older sister.
Lena gave him a smile that didn't reach her eyes, “Alright boys, be safe now. And have fun.” Jeremy and Chad left the house then leaving Lena standing alone in the kitchen.
She let out a sigh full of frustration and repressed anger. She turned back to the dishes and finished them up. And immediately got started with that days chores, which mainly consisted of laundry. She went to her mom's room first to grab the laundry basket from in there. Carrying it back to the laundry room she found a pleasant surprise. Hers and Jeremy's laundry baskets were already sitting on the floor. She smiled. Chad and Jeremy must have done that when she was in the shower. Jeremy was a God-send sometimes.
She separated the colors and whites and settled down to business. There was at least three, if not four, loads of laundry that needed to get done today.
Her mother was a workaholic. To Lena it seemed all she did was work. She worked from 8-5 and then usually brought her work home with her. Her mother, Melinda, seemed only to be happy when she was working or with her youngest child, Jeremy.
Jeremy was the high point in Melinda and her husband, Jerry's, lives. He was the star athlete. Quarterback for the varsity football team his freshman year. Everything about him was perfect. Everyone liked him, he was outgoing, and beautiful. His parents, his mom at least, were there cheering him on at every game and would give anything to their son if he asked for it.
Jerry, the father of Lena and Jeremy, was not always around. Like his wife Melinda he seemed to have a passion for working. Unlike Melinda though, he was always working somewhere else. His job took him all over the country working in one place for 6 months to a year before moving on to the next place. He was only on on occasional weekends, holidays, and in between jobs. He spent no time involved in either of his children's lives.
Lena could here her younger brother, Jeremy, talking to their mother downstairs. He was asking if he could go over to one of his friends houses. Of course Melinda said yes to her beloved son.
Lena sighed in frustration. Lena never got anything she wanted, and Jeremy had everything handed to him from their parents. She looked at her fluffy, black dog sitting next to her chair and whispered to him, “Looks like I'm stuck at home again. And chances are Mom is about to head out to the office. And I'm going to have clean the house and have dinner ready before she gets home.” Her dog, Teddy, looked up at her with sympathetic eyes. It was almost as if he understood the feeling of captivity that Lena felt. Which wasn't surprising since Teddy was her greatest confidant. The only think he was lacking was a voice to comfort her with.
As if on cue, Lena heard her name being hollered from downstairs. “Lena! Come down here!”
She sighed again and headed downstairs immediately. Teddy faithful as ever, followed closely at her heels. When she didn't see her mother in the living room she headed directly to her office. Melinda was there packing up her laptop and her other stuff for work. “Lena, I have to go to the office today. I need you to clean the kitchen and the living room. Jeremy is spending the night at Chad's house and won't be back until tomorrow. Oh and, have dinner ready by 6:30. Your grandmother is coming over tonight and it will be a girl's night. I should be home around then.” She had finished her packing up about the time she finished her speech and picked up her things and maneuvered around the prone Lena and walked out the front door without another word.
Lena just stood there dejected. She had a long day ahead of her. Her brother and friends had been at the house after the football game last night and trashed the living room and kitchen. It would take a good amount of time to get everything clean. Not to mention the mound of homework sitting in her room. And to top it off her Grandmother would be there. Something about the old lady always made her feel small, insignificant, and unworthy of anything. Sighing dejectedly she walked into the kitchen and began picking up the soda cans that littered the counters. It was going to be a long day.
It was 6:15 and Lena was pulling the casserole out of the oven. She had put together a macaroni casserole with a side of corn and steamed carrots. The aromas of the kitchen were making her mouth water but she knew she had to wait until her mother and grandmother were there before she could eat.
Looking around her she was pretty proud of her work. The kitchen was clean except for the pots and pans she used to make dinner, which she would clean up after dinner. The living room was picked up and she had gotten all of her math homework done.
Just then her mother came in through the front door and immediately her eyes flashed around the house, checking that Lena had done everything as she was told. She gave a slight nod of her head when she saw everything was clean and then helped her mother inside. The old woman didn't waste a second before she was critiquing Lena. “My, my dear girl,” she exclaimed. “Are you eating? You are far too thin. And your hair always looks like that. Do you ever change it?”
Lena held back to roll her eyes as she carefully smoothed out her shirt and ran a hand through her straight her that was down like it always was. Her grandmother always made her feel so self conscious about herself. It wasn't enough that she was practically a slave to her mother but her grandmother came around and made her feel completely worthless. She didn't respond just continued setting plates out on the table.
Dinner went by with much of the same fashion. Lena listened but said nothing as her grandmother found flaws with everything. Her hair, her clothes, the way she ate, the way she cleaned up, and any little thing that she could possibly find to complain about. By the end of dinner Lena's nerves were raw with all the criticism and she wasn't sure how much more she could take. She almost lost it when her mother looked at her with a sad expression on her face and said, “Why can't you be more like your brother?”
Lena stayed silent. There was no way she was going to let on to how much this remark hurt her compared to all the others. She didn't understand how her mother could say something like that when it was Lena who had practically raised Jeremy. She was the one that made sure his laundry got done, along with the rest of the family's, that his lunch was always packed for school, and that he always got his homework done. Lena wanted to point out that she was more of his mother than she could ever be. She held her tongue barely. It wouldn't be acceptable for Lena to talk back to her mother. And she really didn't want to have to do whatever punishment her mother thought up.
“Clean up dinner please,” Melinda told her daughter and scooted away from the table, not only just leaving the extra food but her used plate as well.
“Yes...” Lena mumbled reluctantly.
“Yes, what?” Her mother snapped, glaring at her.
Lena glared back and drew herself up, almost as if she was going to retaliate. But she just slumped back, her stature noticeably falling and said, “Yes, Ma'am.” The she obediently turned and started picking up the dirty plates from the table.
“That's better.... Remember where you came from? I can always send you back.” Melinda turned on her heel and went with her mother into the living room where they turned on the TV to some soap opera.
Lena looked up as her mother left the room her eyes blazing at the retreating back. A single tear fell down her cheek, and fell unnoticed by anyone on the table. She wiped her eyes hastily with the back of her hand. It wouldn't do for her mother to see that. She would just get told she was a baby. Sucking in a gulp of air, she grabbed the plates in her hand and took them over to the sink and dropped them loudly. All that happened was the TV in the living room got louder in volume.
That night Lena lay in her bed staring at the ceiling, her teddy bear, Alex, held tightly in her arms. Lying on the mattress next to her a pink diary lay open to the latest entry, blotted with tear drops.
Dear Diary,
It happened again tonight. She brought up how I couldn't be more like Jeremy, and I got the 'I'll send you back threat' again. What do I have to do to be good enough for her? I owe her my gratitude... But do I owe her the slavery she has entrapped me in. I wonder if Jeremy would be alright without me.
Maybe I would be better off going back....
She was still crying softly, but she was safe now. It was late and her mom was in her room asleep or watching some show. Lena liked it best at night. That was her own time. No one was there to boss her around and tell her what to do. No one was there to criticize her. No one was there to hurt her.
She looked to the clock and saw the green numbers flashing 11:11. “Make a wish Alex,” she whispered, “It's 11:11, maybe it will come true.” She closed her eyes tight and wished. “Save me....”
With her eyes clenched tight determined not to look at the clock until 11:11 passed, Lena fell asleep hoping that this time maybe her wish would come true.
Lena woke up that Sunday morning and groaned. She did not want to get up today. Her head was throbbing and she knew it was from crying the previous night. She always got headaches when she fell asleep crying. She pulled the covers over head against the light flooding through the window and curled up again. Just then Teddy whined from her bedroom door scratching on it.
Lena sighed and then through off her blanket and rolled out of bed. Opening her bedroom door, Teddy shot out of it and Lena followed. “Guess you have to go to the bathroom.” Her theory was confirmed when the black dog ran downstairs and stood at the door leading to the backyard, once again letting out a small whine. “I'm coming, I'm coming,” Lena told him following him slower still not awake yet.
She let Teddy outside and then yawned and scratched her head. Since she was up she might as well be up. The tile floor was cool on her bare feet as she walked into the the kitchen heading towards the pantry. Pulling out the pancake mix she went about making breakfast. She made one special pancake with chocolate chips in it. Ever since Lena had taken over breakfast he had always gotten one. And even though he wasn't back from Chad's house, Lena knew he would be. He never missed pancake Sunday.
She flipped the pancakes into the air. She was really good at cooking. Which wasn't surprising since she did almost all the cooking in the house. She used the last of the batter and wrapped foil around the stacked pancakes. She would wait to eat until her brother got home.
She went back up the stairs to her bathroom and started getting ready for the day. She looked at herself closely in the mirror. Her grandmother's comments still fresh in her head from the previous night. She poked at her ribs and then frowned. Was she really too thin? She ran her fingers through her hair. Was her hair really all that bad? She frowned at her reflection in the mirror. She didn't see anything wrong with herself. Yes she was skinny, but she didn't think she was too thin. Sure she didn't do much with her hair, but it was long, pretty and straight. Sighing, she got into the shower determined not to let such thoughts and her grandmother's remarks bother her.
After her shower, she felt a little better and it helped get rid of her headache and sooth the troubling thoughts about her looks. She went downstairs and found Jeremy sitting on the couch watching ESPN with Chad. Jeremy smiled when he saw his sister. “Took you long enough, I'm starving.”
Chad looked up from the TV and gave her a nod, “Hey Lena.”
“Good morning, Chad. I'm assuming you're staying for breakfast?”
“You bet I am,”Chad answered with a smile. “I'm not going to pass up an offer on your pancakes.”
That sent the three of them laughing as the two boys followed Lena into the kitchen and sat down at the table. Lena grabbed the plated and pancakes and sat down with the boys. All three of them dug in happy to have food.
“As usual, Lena, these are the best I've ever had,” Chad complimented her with a full mouth. That was one thing Lena liked about all of Jeremy's friends. They were all nice to her and appreciated her, even if it was only for her cooking.
“Don't talk when you're chewing, it's not polite,” Jeremy told his friend with a full mouth of his own. “And stop flirting with my sister. She's too old for you anyways.”
That sent the three of them laughing and Chad choked on his pancakes before any of them could get over themselves. Lena liked being with Jeremy and his friends. They always seemed to make her laugh.
Lena was clearing up the breakfast with the help of the boys when their mother emerged from her room. Lena automatically averted her eyes from her mother and didn't say anything. “Jeremy, you're home,” Melinda said coming up to her son and giving him a hug. “Your grandmother was here last night, she was sorry she missed you. And good morning Chad. It's good to see you again.”
Lena just rolled her eyes thankful to be out of her mother's attention for the moment. As long as she was focused on Jeremy she seemed to leave Lena alone. “Oh, Lena, I need you to do my laundry today. I might go out with the girls later if I'm not too busy with work.” Lena stopped herself from throwing the plate she held in her hands at he mother's head. Would there ever be one day where Lena wouldn't have to do anything for her mother? Would there ever just be one day she had for herself?
Melinda walked out of the kitchen, and into her office leaving the kids alone. Jeremy immediately went to Lena's side and rubbed her back gently. Unlike there mother, he could tell when Lena was annoyed and stressed. “I'm sorry, Lena...” Jeremy said quietly.
Chad whistled. “Wow Lena, you didn't even get a good morning.” Chad was a common guest at the house and he knew how Lena was treated. At this point he was just trying to cheer her up, even if only a little. He always helped Jeremy help her in anyway he could. Lena was such a sweet girl and she seemed to always have stuff for Jeremy and his friends. It was almost like Lena was the mother, and Melinda was just a guest in her own house.
Lena just shrugged, she hated breaking down in front of her brother. If it had been any of his friends except Chad, Lena wouldn't have even shown the slight emotion that she had. She was so used to Chad being around though it was just like another Jeremy. Another little brother to care for.
“Eh, I needed to do my laundry anyways,” she said trying her best to just shrug it off.
Neither one of the boys believed her but didn't say anything. “Well, Chad and I are off to go throw around a football and maybe set up a mini game if enough people show up. If you need anything Lena just come get me,” Jeremy told his older sister.
Lena gave him a smile that didn't reach her eyes, “Alright boys, be safe now. And have fun.” Jeremy and Chad left the house then leaving Lena standing alone in the kitchen.
She let out a sigh full of frustration and repressed anger. She turned back to the dishes and finished them up. And immediately got started with that days chores, which mainly consisted of laundry. She went to her mom's room first to grab the laundry basket from in there. Carrying it back to the laundry room she found a pleasant surprise. Hers and Jeremy's laundry baskets were already sitting on the floor. She smiled. Chad and Jeremy must have done that when she was in the shower. Jeremy was a God-send sometimes.
She separated the colors and whites and settled down to business. There was at least three, if not four, loads of laundry that needed to get done today.
