Post by Monday on Jun 28, 2012 21:43:42 GMT -5
((Please don't read this, I'm only copy pasting it for a back up because I can't get it to save on my jump drive for some reason and I don't want to risk loosing it. :-) ))
Her heart nearly stopped when she saw him and all she could think was that she should have known that he would be here. Maybe part of her had hoped he would be. She must have made a noise when she entered the room because he turned around at her entrance, his eyes locked on hers. They both stood still for a moment, simply staring at each other. She realized that this was the first time that they were in a room alone together since their first night at Rose Bay Hall. She couldn’t resist sweeping her eyes over him, his tall frame, broad shoulders and piercing blue gaze. The mere sight of him was enough to make her head swim with wanting.
Instead, she took as step back. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you.” Her words sounded false to her own ears but she turned toward the door none the less. She couldn’t stay here knowing that he only wished her gone.
“No. Of course you can stay.” His voice was hesitant but at least, she thought, he was talking to her. But that didn’t erase the three days he had spent ignoring her and she kept her back toward him, her shoulders stiff. Her hand reached for the handle of the door she hadn’t even realized she’d closed behind her. But his next words froze her in place. “Please. I want you to stay.” The pleading in his voice, quite simply, shocked her.
Slowly, she put her hand arm down and turned around to face him. “Why?” Anger pulsed through her veins, anger she did not even realize she felt. She had wanted an explanation, had sought him out subconsciously to get one. And now she would have it from him.
“Excuse me?” His voice was calm but his eyes were brooding as he searched her face.
She stepped further into the room and squared her shoulders, prepared to face him. “Why do you want me to stay? Actually a better question would be, why have you chosen now to finally speak to me after so many days of silence?”
His whole body seemed to turn to stone and his face gave nothing away. “I don’t know what you mean.”
She could have almost laughed if she was not so unequivocally furious. “Don’t you?” she asked, her voice almost shaking. She took in an unsteady breath in an attempt to calm her voice. “I know my place in the world; I could have easily been comfortable in it. I never expected to gain your friendship. But you made me want so much more, even though I knew it was impossible.”
His brow furrowed and his voice turned cool and dark, the calm before the storm. “What are you talking about?”
“I know you were angry with me about what happened with Mrs. Heaton,” she said, changing tacks. “But I’d rather face your wrath then your indifference.”
“You think I was upset with you about what Heaton did?” Now she was sure he was angry.
“Yes,” she answered bluntly. “What other explanation could there be?”
His eyes glinted like mad in the candle light of the room as he took two furious strides toward her. “I’ll show you,” he all but growled.
His hands held both of her arms in a vice as he pulled her toward him and suddenly his mouth was on hers, hot and demanding. Beyond the shock, she could only feel desire tear through her, fast and all consuming. She could feel the heat of his body, so close to hers and she longed to put her arms around him but his firm grip held her a hair’s breadth away. She sighed and her lips parted, wanting him to take all of her.
Suddenly, he pulled her away from him, his breathing labored as he kept her at arm’s length. Her knees felt like they might give out from under her at any moment but the firm grip he kept on her helped her stay up right. She was breathless too as they stood there and stared at each other. There were a riot of emotions running through her body but finally she found her voice. “I don’t think I understand.” Her voice sounded stilted and as confused as she felt.
Amusement flashed in his eyes as he took a step back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean… I wanted to do this better, not attack you like that.” He swiped a hand through his hair in frustration. “How could you think that the word of that woman could matter to me? That I could believe a thing she said against you?”
She didn’t like that he was moving away from her and she didn’t like that he was apologizing for kissing her, either. She scowled up at him and moved closer. “Then why were you ignoring me?” His mouth had done what his words could not and all the anger, fear, and hurt she had felt before seemed to have all but disappeared. How could she feel anything else when her heart and head were already so full of him?
“Because I was angry after what happened with Heaton. But not at you.” He watched her movement toward him warily and took another step away from her. “For the most part I was mad at her. And myself.”
That stopped her in her tracks. “Why were you angry with yourself? And why do I feel as if I am chasing you?”
She could see the spark of desire in his eyes as he continued to keep his distance. “Because I’m afraid if I touch you, I won’t be able to take my hands off you.” His eyes trailed over her skin and Nicky felt warm all over. “If I kiss you, I won’t be able to stop.”
“Then don’t,” she all but whispered. His eyes were burning fiercely but he shook his head.
“I will do this the right way,” he said, more to himself then to her. Abruptly, he changed subjects. “It drove me half mad, what she did to you. And that I wasn’t able to protect you better.”
“Protect me?”
He nodded. “I could see that she hurt you. And I couldn’t stop her.”
“But you did,” she said earnestly. She couldn’t resist any longer and she stepped forward to take his hand. “You saved me when you took my word over hers, when you chose to believe me. Her words couldn’t touch me after that.”
He sighed heavily and lifted the palm of his hand to gently caress her face. “I’m sorry. It was foolish to try to distance myself from you but I was afraid that if I held you in my arms, even in comfort that I wouldn’t be able to let go. And I didn’t know if you were ready for that yet. I want you badly for my own, Nicky. I’ve wanted you for a long time now, it feels like. I love you so.”
Her breath caught in her throat and tears pricked the corners of her eyes. Those words… He’d never said them to her before but she felt like he had all the same. He had said just the same things in her dreams. She clutched at his arm in desperation as she began to grow faint. “Nicky?” She could hear the alarm in Bracken’s voice but it felt like it was coming from far away. Her world buzzed but didn’t go entirely black as he lifted her up and set her on the couch in the room.
“Please, Nicky are you alright? What happened?”
Finally her head began to clear and she was frustrated at herself for letting her strange dreams get in the way. “I’m fine,” she said, trying to give him a reassuring smile. “Just had little spell of dizziness, that’s all.”
“Are you sure?” His voice was strained with anxiety. He clutched one of her hands in his and drew the other one across her face. “You’re so pail.” The adoration that was spilling out of his eyes unguardedly when he looked at her had her heart leaping in her throat once again.
“Why did you call me Nicky?”
A slight smile of amusement played at the corner of his mouth but concern was still etched all over his face. “I tell you I love you and you’re concerned about the way I say your name.”
She smiled but wouldn’t let him distract her. “No one’s ever called me Nicky before, only Nicole. What made you say Nicky instead of Nicole?”
“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “You’ve just always been Nicky to me for some reason. But I’ll gladly call you Nicole, if that’s what you’d prefer,” he said with a teasing smile.
“No, I like Nicky. It feels right when you call me that. Like I knew I preferred it all along and was just waiting to hear it from you. Don’t ever stop.” Emotion suddenly swelled inside of her and she almost leapt into his arms where he was kneeling beside her on the couch. “I love you.”
She could feel his sharp intake of breath and his arms tightening around her. “God, I love you, Nicky.” Still holding her tightly in his arms, he lifted her from the couch and set her on her feet in front of him. “And I’ll never stop loving you.” He took out a ring from his back pocket and the diamond sparkled beautifully in the light. “Please be my wife so that I can prove that to you every single day.”
Her heart nearly stopped when she saw him and all she could think was that she should have known that he would be here. Maybe part of her had hoped he would be. She must have made a noise when she entered the room because he turned around at her entrance, his eyes locked on hers. They both stood still for a moment, simply staring at each other. She realized that this was the first time that they were in a room alone together since their first night at Rose Bay Hall. She couldn’t resist sweeping her eyes over him, his tall frame, broad shoulders and piercing blue gaze. The mere sight of him was enough to make her head swim with wanting.
Instead, she took as step back. “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to disturb you.” Her words sounded false to her own ears but she turned toward the door none the less. She couldn’t stay here knowing that he only wished her gone.
“No. Of course you can stay.” His voice was hesitant but at least, she thought, he was talking to her. But that didn’t erase the three days he had spent ignoring her and she kept her back toward him, her shoulders stiff. Her hand reached for the handle of the door she hadn’t even realized she’d closed behind her. But his next words froze her in place. “Please. I want you to stay.” The pleading in his voice, quite simply, shocked her.
Slowly, she put her hand arm down and turned around to face him. “Why?” Anger pulsed through her veins, anger she did not even realize she felt. She had wanted an explanation, had sought him out subconsciously to get one. And now she would have it from him.
“Excuse me?” His voice was calm but his eyes were brooding as he searched her face.
She stepped further into the room and squared her shoulders, prepared to face him. “Why do you want me to stay? Actually a better question would be, why have you chosen now to finally speak to me after so many days of silence?”
His whole body seemed to turn to stone and his face gave nothing away. “I don’t know what you mean.”
She could have almost laughed if she was not so unequivocally furious. “Don’t you?” she asked, her voice almost shaking. She took in an unsteady breath in an attempt to calm her voice. “I know my place in the world; I could have easily been comfortable in it. I never expected to gain your friendship. But you made me want so much more, even though I knew it was impossible.”
His brow furrowed and his voice turned cool and dark, the calm before the storm. “What are you talking about?”
“I know you were angry with me about what happened with Mrs. Heaton,” she said, changing tacks. “But I’d rather face your wrath then your indifference.”
“You think I was upset with you about what Heaton did?” Now she was sure he was angry.
“Yes,” she answered bluntly. “What other explanation could there be?”
His eyes glinted like mad in the candle light of the room as he took two furious strides toward her. “I’ll show you,” he all but growled.
His hands held both of her arms in a vice as he pulled her toward him and suddenly his mouth was on hers, hot and demanding. Beyond the shock, she could only feel desire tear through her, fast and all consuming. She could feel the heat of his body, so close to hers and she longed to put her arms around him but his firm grip held her a hair’s breadth away. She sighed and her lips parted, wanting him to take all of her.
Suddenly, he pulled her away from him, his breathing labored as he kept her at arm’s length. Her knees felt like they might give out from under her at any moment but the firm grip he kept on her helped her stay up right. She was breathless too as they stood there and stared at each other. There were a riot of emotions running through her body but finally she found her voice. “I don’t think I understand.” Her voice sounded stilted and as confused as she felt.
Amusement flashed in his eyes as he took a step back. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean… I wanted to do this better, not attack you like that.” He swiped a hand through his hair in frustration. “How could you think that the word of that woman could matter to me? That I could believe a thing she said against you?”
She didn’t like that he was moving away from her and she didn’t like that he was apologizing for kissing her, either. She scowled up at him and moved closer. “Then why were you ignoring me?” His mouth had done what his words could not and all the anger, fear, and hurt she had felt before seemed to have all but disappeared. How could she feel anything else when her heart and head were already so full of him?
“Because I was angry after what happened with Heaton. But not at you.” He watched her movement toward him warily and took another step away from her. “For the most part I was mad at her. And myself.”
That stopped her in her tracks. “Why were you angry with yourself? And why do I feel as if I am chasing you?”
She could see the spark of desire in his eyes as he continued to keep his distance. “Because I’m afraid if I touch you, I won’t be able to take my hands off you.” His eyes trailed over her skin and Nicky felt warm all over. “If I kiss you, I won’t be able to stop.”
“Then don’t,” she all but whispered. His eyes were burning fiercely but he shook his head.
“I will do this the right way,” he said, more to himself then to her. Abruptly, he changed subjects. “It drove me half mad, what she did to you. And that I wasn’t able to protect you better.”
“Protect me?”
He nodded. “I could see that she hurt you. And I couldn’t stop her.”
“But you did,” she said earnestly. She couldn’t resist any longer and she stepped forward to take his hand. “You saved me when you took my word over hers, when you chose to believe me. Her words couldn’t touch me after that.”
He sighed heavily and lifted the palm of his hand to gently caress her face. “I’m sorry. It was foolish to try to distance myself from you but I was afraid that if I held you in my arms, even in comfort that I wouldn’t be able to let go. And I didn’t know if you were ready for that yet. I want you badly for my own, Nicky. I’ve wanted you for a long time now, it feels like. I love you so.”
Her breath caught in her throat and tears pricked the corners of her eyes. Those words… He’d never said them to her before but she felt like he had all the same. He had said just the same things in her dreams. She clutched at his arm in desperation as she began to grow faint. “Nicky?” She could hear the alarm in Bracken’s voice but it felt like it was coming from far away. Her world buzzed but didn’t go entirely black as he lifted her up and set her on the couch in the room.
“Please, Nicky are you alright? What happened?”
Finally her head began to clear and she was frustrated at herself for letting her strange dreams get in the way. “I’m fine,” she said, trying to give him a reassuring smile. “Just had little spell of dizziness, that’s all.”
“Are you sure?” His voice was strained with anxiety. He clutched one of her hands in his and drew the other one across her face. “You’re so pail.” The adoration that was spilling out of his eyes unguardedly when he looked at her had her heart leaping in her throat once again.
“Why did you call me Nicky?”
A slight smile of amusement played at the corner of his mouth but concern was still etched all over his face. “I tell you I love you and you’re concerned about the way I say your name.”
She smiled but wouldn’t let him distract her. “No one’s ever called me Nicky before, only Nicole. What made you say Nicky instead of Nicole?”
“I don’t know,” he said honestly. “You’ve just always been Nicky to me for some reason. But I’ll gladly call you Nicole, if that’s what you’d prefer,” he said with a teasing smile.
“No, I like Nicky. It feels right when you call me that. Like I knew I preferred it all along and was just waiting to hear it from you. Don’t ever stop.” Emotion suddenly swelled inside of her and she almost leapt into his arms where he was kneeling beside her on the couch. “I love you.”
She could feel his sharp intake of breath and his arms tightening around her. “God, I love you, Nicky.” Still holding her tightly in his arms, he lifted her from the couch and set her on her feet in front of him. “And I’ll never stop loving you.” He took out a ring from his back pocket and the diamond sparkled beautifully in the light. “Please be my wife so that I can prove that to you every single day.”