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Post by Friday on Nov 20, 2009 0:07:05 GMT -5
“Jeanine,” he said happily and he welcome her in with an arm gesture saying that she should come inside. As she passed he grabbed her arm easily and gave her a kiss and whispered words into her ear that I couldn't hear. I studied her as she was distracted with him. She had dark wavy hair, that was almost a black color. She was wearing a casual black dress, that showed off everything that she wanted it to. She had curves, and was over all a very attractive woman. She had the greenest eyes I had ever seen on anyone, and when she looked at him I felt like she was trying to strip away the very essence of me. I shivered with a chill, and Dakota frowned at me as he wrapped an arm around me protectively. I had been quite comfortable before, but now I was cold. I thought at first that maybe it was just from the door being open, but I knew it wasn't that cold outside. It was November, but the weather was cool, not cold like I had just gotten. “Jeanine,” my dad said talking so that everyone could hear him now, “This is my daughter, Kasey, and her boyfriend, Dakota.” As he said each of our names he pointed us out, not that we were easy to get confused. “Kids, this is Jeanine,” he added more to us now, and as he said it I waited to hear what title he gave her, but one never came. “It's so nice to meet you,” I said and offered her my hand trying to be polite. She looked at my extended hand a moment and hesitated before she took it and shook it lightly, before she quickly pulled away. “And you,” she said still watching me with those very green eyes. Dakota followed suit and gave her a nod as he held his hand out to her. She took his hand with less hesitation than mine but still shook it lightly, not keeping much contact. “Ma'am,” Dakota said with another nod as he shook her hand that looked so dainty compared to his. The hand shake he got was just as brief as the one I got, if not even shorter. “I’ve got dinner ready, we can eat now,” my dad said still smiling like he was a kid who just brought home a lost puppy. He looked at me when he said this and I was glad I had dinner finished. I took Dakota’s hand I led him into the kitchen away from my dad and Jeanine. As we turned the corner out of sight of them, I pulled Dakota’s head down to whisper into his ear, “I don’t think I’m going to like her.” “I don’t like her,” Dakota whispered back his statement a lot more confidant than mine. There was something about her that was sketchy. I just didn’t feel safe with her in my house, and you could guarantee I would never turn my back on her. Dinner just dragged on. Jeanine and my dad laughed, and talked and were pleasant. Dakota and I spoke only when spoken to and very briefly at that. My dad looked at Jeanine like she hung the moon in the night sky. She was nice, she was gorgeous, she was polite, but there was something about her I didn’t like. I didn’t know what it was but I didn’t like it. Not one bit. All throughout dinner and desert, I was cold. I even got up and checked the thermostat, and it was at seventy two, which was definitely not a reason for me to be cold. Dakota gave me a funny look when I came back to the table with a jacket on, but I was cold and it wouldn’t go away. I was glad when dinner was over and my dad led Jeanine into the living room leaving Dakota and I to clean up the dishes by ourselves. I heard the TV come on in the living room and I could hear there low voices, talking about what I couldn’t tell, although I’m pretty sure I heard my name in there a few times.
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Post by Friday on Nov 20, 2009 0:07:35 GMT -5
“Dakota,” I said keeping my own voice quiet, “I don’t understand, she’s nice and polite. And there isn’t a doubt that she’s got the looks. But there’s something about her. I can’t tell you what it is, but I don’t like her,” I said this looking for an answer, to see if he saw the same thing I did, and maybe he knew what he was seeing. “I know Kasey, I feel the exact same way. It’s something in her eyes,” he said back to me his own voice hushed. Both of us were nervous about them over hearing us. Not that there was any need to worry, the TV was on, they were talking, and I had the water running rinsing off dishes that I had washed, and plates and glasses clinked together as Dakota put them away. There was absolutely no way they could hear us. “I hate how she watches me, like, I don't know. Like she's trying to hide something,” I said as I finished up rinsing the dishes. “It's her eyes. They bother me,” I added, trying to convey the sense of wrong I felt. “Hey, it's alright Kasey,” he said and set the pot down that he was putting away to come to me and pull me into his arms. “Look, just talk to your dad, tell him how you feel. I'm sure he will take into account your feelings,” he said as he ran his fingers through my hair. “Alright, I trust you” I said giving him a big hug before I let go to finish putting up the dishes. It wasn't long before we were finished and we each had another brownie before we went to do anything else. I grabbed Dakota's hand and pulled him with me to the entrance to the living room area. “Hey, Dad? We are going to go upstairs, watch a movie or something,” I said hoping my dad wouldn't stop me from doing just that. I would have given a better excuse than doing that, like doing homework or something, but what high school senior does homework on a Friday night? None. “You know Kasey, that's not a bad idea. Why don't you pick out a movie and bring it down here so all four of us can watch it?” He asked smiling at me and turning to look at Jeanine. Both Jeanine and I stiffened however, I could see how she sat up straighter and her eyes were widen for an instant before my father looked over at her. Once his eyes were on her, she was the smiling vision of a caring and very loving person. “Is that alright with you, honey?” “Whatever you want, Ryan,” she said sweetly, and batted her eyelashes slightly. I narrowed my eyes in suspicion and confusion before I glanced over to Dakota who was looking at me. He had obviously seen the same look on Jeanine's face that I had just witnessed. There was obviously more to her than what met the eye. “Kasey run upstairs and pick a movie,” he said before he turned back to Jeanine and ignored me completely. I sighed and rolled my eyes and then pulled Dakota up the stairs with me. “I don't want to watch a movie with her,” I complained to him as soon as we were out of ear shot. I would have loved to watch a movie with my dad, but I was not interested in being with her. She was no good, even I could tell that by only spending the couple of hours I had with her. “It's just one night Kasey, we'll watch a movie and go out on a drive,” he said with a mischievous grin and when I looked at him he winked at me, and I could feel my face light up my mood instantly lifted. “Fine, but I'll hold you to that,” I said still beaming at him. I went into my room and went straight to my bookcase where I had a shelf dedicated to all my movies. “Anything you want to watch?” I asked looking over them. “No sweetheart, you pick,” Dakota said wrapping his arms around me from behinf me. “Hmm...” I mused looking over the movies then I reached out a grabbed Transformers, knowing that at least three of the four planning on watching would enjoy it. After I had it in my hands, Dakota spun me around in his arms so that I was facing him. “Ok, go be nice, for two hours, and then we'll leave,” he said leaving me no time to debate it as he leaned in to kiss me. I gave up all argument then, I would be nice then it would just be me and Dakota. “Fine,” I said pulling away from him, “Let's go get this over with.” I pulled him out the door and as we were heading down the stairs I looked back at him a gave him a smile.
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Post by Friday on Nov 20, 2009 0:16:56 GMT -5
The movie was the longest movie I think I've ever watched. I curled up with Dakota on the love seat, and my dad and Jeanine stayed where the were originally were on the couch. They weren't quite as close as Dakota and I were, but his arm was around her shoulders, and her hand rested on his thigh through the entire movie. And overall it was just an awkward movie. Jeanine didn't want to be here, that much was obvious from the uncomfortable, disgusted frown that was a permanent fixture on her face when my dad couldn't see her eyes. The one time my dad went to use the bathroom, she sat with her arms and legs crossed, and didn't even pretend to watch move, and didn't say a word to Dakota or I. The only thing I was aware of was her. I couldn't even pretend to focus on the movie like she could. I just wanted to movie to end, and to leave with Dakota. That was the only thing that kept me from saying anything, that kept me from getting up and leaving. The promise that Dakota was going to take me away as soon as it was over with. Eventually, after what felt like forever, the movie finally ended and before the credits could even start rolling, I was and out of the love seat. And before my dad could even ask my keys were in my hand and I was ready to go. However, he stopped Dakota and I before we could get out the door. “Now hold on,” he called from the living room, “where do you think you're going?” “We're going out for ice cream, pick up my book I left at his house yesterday.” “Kasey May, it's midnight,” he said and I could see the disapproving frown on his face and hear it in his voice “I'll be home by one thirty,” I said not leaving the choice up to him whether or not I was going out. By setting a time, I had set my own curfew and made it clear that I was going out. Maybe not to where I had exactly said I would be going, but I was going out. He frowned at me, but shooed me away with one hand, and before he could say anything else, I was out the door, and down the front steps before Dakota even caught up with me. I made sure to make a stop at my car and grab the book that I always kept in there before I took my normal spot in the passenger seat of Dakota's car. Dakota was just as eager as I was to be out of the house, probably for different reasons than mine was, but he wanted away from the adults all the same. We didn't say much as we drove out to the lake, but not much was needed to be said. He would lean over and kiss me at red lights, and the further we went down the road, the further his hand inched up my thigh. The drive took fifteen minutes to get out to one of the parking spots on one of the ridges overlooking the lake, but by the time we got there I was more than ready to be there. It was killing me not being able to touch Dakota because he was driving. But it didn't matter because I was with him now, and just him. The moon was full and high in the sky and was reflected in the glass smooth lake like a mirror. Stars dotted the sky everywhere, and it was one of the most breathtaking sights I had ever seen. But I didn't notice any of this tonight. All my focus was one Dakota. How is eyes burned silver in the moonlight, and how is warm hands lit me on fire. It didn't matter how beautiful the sight was around me. I only had eyes for him.
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Post by Friday on Nov 20, 2009 0:50:07 GMT -5
Chapter 6: Lost
I woke up in the morning just in time for it to be the afternoon. True to my word, I had been home by one thirty the night before, but just barely. I hadn't been too concerned about the time when Dakota and I had been parked out at the lake. I stretched and yawned and relaxed back into the pillows on my bed with a smile remembering the night before. I could taste the cut on the inside of my bottom lip where Dakota had bit a little too hard one time. I could still feel his hot hands sliding up my shirt, and his breath tickling my ear. I sighed in contentment just thinking of Dakota. I had it bad for that boy. I stayed there for a few minutes lying in my bed, just relaxing and adjusting to being awake after sleeping for so long. After a bit I reached over to my bedside table and grabbed my cell phone, unplugging it from the charger. I had missed two texts, one from my dad and one for Dakota.
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Post by Friday on Nov 21, 2009 21:01:09 GMT -5
The one from my dad read: Kasey, I'm going out with Jeanine for the day. Be back for dinner. Love you. The one from Dakota, was a little more personal and a little more looked forward to than the one from my dad: Good morning my sweet angel, text me when you wake up, and I'll come get you. I've got some plans for us today. I love you <3 I smiled when I read that, and immediately got out of bed to get ready for the day. I put on my favorite pair of blue jeans, with a plain black t-shirt. As soon as I was all ready with my teeth brushed I sent a reply to Dakota's text: Hey Love, I'm up and ready when you are. I'll see you soon. Love you <3 I wasn't even fifteen minutes later, when I was sitting in the living room, when I heard the front door open. “Hey angel,” I heard Dakota call from the front hall. “Hey, how are you?” “I'm perfect now that I'm with you,” Dakota replied coming into the living room where I was gathering up my phone and keys, and putting on my shoes. “You ready?” he asked obviously pleased to be going somewhere. “Yeah, I'm good to go,” I said as I tugged the shoelaces on my second shoe tight. I stood up and gave him a hug before we headed out to the car. “So where are we going?” I asked as I traced hearts on his hand with my fingers. It wasn't like Dakota to not tell me what we were doing. “Well, I figured we would have a fun day. Just us,” he said glancing over at me quickly to flash me a smile. “What does a fun day include? “Well, I thought we might go bowling, or play mini golf, and head over to the arcade, just have some fun.” I smiled when he told me this. It was going to be a play day for Dakota and I from the sounds of things, and a play day was just what I needed, even though going out to the lake had made my night significantly better. “I like that idea,” I told him intertwining my fingers with his and giving his hand a squeeze. “Yeah? Do you? I thought you might,” he said his attention back on the road. “I'm excited,” I told him, and I really was. I couldn't remember the last time I had gone and done anything like this. I usually didn't feel like spending the money on it myself, and never had anyone that would want to go and pay for me as well. Not to mention the fact that I never really had friends that wanted to do that kind of stuff anyways. It wasn't long before we were at the the Crystal Overlook Park and Arcade. The place had anything you could ever want to do. Mini golf, bowling, laser tag, arcade room, two rock walls, go karts, bumper boats. It was just a fun place to play, hang out and have fun. I'd driven by it several times since I had been here, but had never actually been there, and now I was getting that chance.
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Post by Friday on Nov 23, 2009 11:22:10 GMT -5
We went inside and I was excited going in to see that the bowling alley portion of the park was all lit up in black lights. “So what do you want to do first?” Dakota asked swinging my arm with his as we walked up to the front counter. “Can we bowl first?” “Sure thing angel, this is your day,” he said as we stepped up to the counter. “How can I help you?” A girl sitting behind the desk asked with a friendly smile and batting eyelashes. I watched as she looked Dakota over, and her eyes roved from his toes to his head, lingering in all the wrong places in between. Her blonde hair was pulled up into a loose ponytail, and she leaned over so that she was resting on the desk which she knew very well made her boobs stand out. She blew a bubble with her pink bubble gum and it popped gracefully and without getting everywhere like my own bubble gum would have. “Two bowling games, for two, and shoes as well,” he said not giving her as much as a glance as he still looked at me and pulled me even closer by wrapping an arm around me. I smiled when his eyes stayed on me and I watched out of the corner of my eye, as she rolled her eyes and gave a annoyed sigh and finally turned to her work. “Sizes?” she asked, now all business and no longer all that polite and friendly like she was when she talked at first. “Men's eleven, and a women's eight,” Dakota said again hardly sparing her a glance. “That will be sixteen thirty-four,” she said pulling out two pairs of shoes from underneath the counter, still popping her gum in the most annoying way. Dakota handed over a twenty and grabbed both pairs of shoes. “Keep the change,” he said and gave her a polite smile, which was the most attention he had given her since we had walked in. He pulled us over to the lane we had been assigned and we both sat down to put on our shoes. I clicked my heels together, and smiled at the shoes. I didn't know why but I had always liked the way bowling shoes fit me. As I admired my shoes, Dakota put our names into the system. Angel and Dakota. I could help but smile at that. The nicknames he gave me always made me happy. “Your bowl first my sweet angel,” he said with a mock bow as he scooted out of the way so I could take my turn. I hefted my eight pound, pink tye-dye ball up off the ball return rack and took my place at the lane to take my turn. We played two games, with Dakota winning the first, and me barely winning by just a point in the second game. We were playing air hockey in the arcade later when my phone vibrated with an incoming text. Flipping my phone open I say it was a text from Rachel. She and some of the other kids from out English class were getting together at the library at four to study for the English test that was on this Tuesday. I cursed under my breath when I saw it. I had completely forgotten about the test, and I really did need to study, but I didn't want to leave off having fun with Dakota. “You going to go?” I jumped when I heard Dakota's voice behind me. I hadn't even seen Dakota walk around the table to read my text over my shoulder. “I don't know,” I shrugged, very torn between my two options. It was three o'clock as it was, so it meant that if I did go, I wouldn't have much time with Dakota. “You can go,” he said giving me a nod. “But I want to be with you.” “But you need to study for your test, we both know that.” “Yeah, I do,” I agreed reluctantly, knowing that if I wanted to have an A in English, I needed to do well on the test. “Well let's go play a fast round of mini-golf and then I'll take you over there. Sound good?” I smiled at him and gave him a hug. “Yeah, that sounds good to me,” I said, “Thank you for understanding. “Anytime angel,” he said as he gave me a quick kiss and took my hand in his leading me over to the mini-golf room. Thankfully, we didn't keep score through the game, otherwise I might have been embarrassed. I wasn't exactly the best golf player, and even the art of mini-golf eluded my skill level. Although I might have been better had I actually tried to be better at it. We finished up what we were doing with fifteen minute until everyone was meeting up at the library. Reluctantly I followed Dakota out of the Park and out to his car. He at least, was being a good student and doing the right thing for me. Even if I really didn't want to go, I know I needed it.
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Post by Friday on Nov 23, 2009 11:22:39 GMT -5
The trip to the library was too short, and I would have much rather spent the time with Dakota than at the library with the girls, but I needed it. I sighed when he pulled into a parking spot on the street side of the library. I leaned over the center console to lean my head against his shoulder. “I don't want to leave my Dakota,” I said pouting slightly. I knew it would just be for an hour or two that I was going to have to be without him but I still didn't want to leave him “Kasey, I don't want to leave you either, but we both know you won't get any work done if I'm there, and we both know you need to study because you won't do it tomorrow,” he placed his hand under my chin and lifted my face up to look in my eyes. “Hey, Kasey, I love you.” “I love you Dakota,” I said and smiled losing myself in his, today, dark green eyes. His eyes closed as he pulled me close to him and kissed me slowly, his lips moving softly against mine. With his kiss I could feel butterflies in my stomach and I closed my eyes, losing my whole self to his touch. I could feel the slowly simmering desire build up inside me, and I knew in that moment, that I was in love with him. It all came to and end too soon, when Dakota pulled away an inch, enough for his lips to be barely brushing against mine. I shuddered slightly, and I was regretting now that I had ever let Dakota talk me into going to this study group. “Kasey, you need to go,” Dakota said in a hushed tone, his voice husky and rough on my ears, but I loved it. I sighed, and placing one more slow long kiss on his lips I pulled away, and opened up my car door. “Thank you for driving me over here,” I said still not leaving the car despite the open door. “No problem, text or call me when you are ready to be picked up and I will come get you.” “Alright,” I said and I slowly pulled myself out of the car, “I love you, I'll see you soon.” “I'll be here, and I love you too, Kasey, more than you can ever know.” I rolled my eyes at him before I pushed the door close. I walked far enough away so that I was up on the sidewalk and out of his way so that he could back out. He smiled and waved the 'I love you' hand sign at me before he put his car into reverse. He started to back out of the space and was halfway out when he looked back at me to wave one more time. I blew him a kiss in return and gave him a sweet smile. That was when my entire world was shattered. When everything I ever thought I knew was turned upside down. I saw it all like it was in slow motion. Dakota finished backing his car out of the space and had cleared the cars in the spaces next to him. He looked up at me one last time, and mouthed 'I love you' at me before he put his car into drive. I think we both saw the truck at the same time. I looked up at the roar of a loud engine, and Dakota looked up so that he could drive. My eyes got wide as I watched the truck speed down the narrow road, going way too fast to be in just a parking lot. I looked to Dakota with fear in my eyes, and I saw his head turn to look at me, my fear reflected in his own wide eyes. “Dakota!” I didn't realize until later that the voice that had screamed his name in wild desperation had been my own strangled voice.
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Post by Friday on Nov 23, 2009 11:24:02 GMT -5
Chapter 7: All Alone
The next two hours of my life, were the worst I think I had ever lived through. I didn't remember much, and what I did remember was a blur. I remember the truck hitting Dakota's car on the driver's side, right where he had been sitting. I remember the paramedics showing up, seven minutes later and the firefighters pulling me away from Dakota's mangled car where all I was trying to do was to get to him. I remember looking down at my hands to find them covered in blood that wasn't mine. I remember the other driver walking away. I remember the last look of terror in Dakota's eyes as he looked at me. That look would haunt me forever. The police, the firefighters, and the paramedics all tried to talk to me. I couldn't answer any of them. I was in shock. I couldn't find the words to even begin to explain what had happened. I listened with deaf ears as the lady who had witnessed it and called 911, explained what she had seen. I watched as the firefighters cut open Dakota's car with the jaws of life, the strong tool, tearing through the twisted metal like my hands could not. I could see them pulling out Dakota's prone form, and I lurched forward towards him. Before I could get anywhere close, strong hands locked around my arms holding me back. “Dakota!” Once again, I didn't recognize my voice, as I fought against the strong grip on my arms. I struggled but I couldn't break free of him. “Dakota!” I yelled once again, helpless to do anything. “Dakota, Dakota, Dakota...” My voice trailed off as the only thing I could say was his name, as if maybe, I said it enough, he would move, the prone shape of his body would come to life once more. That's when they pulled the blanket over his unmoving form. “No,” I said in a hoarse whisper. I collapsed against the arms, no longer able to hold myself up. The grasp faltered as my full weight fell and it was enough for my to land hard on the concrete, bruising my knees as I hit the ground. It wasn't until that moment that they pulled the sheet over him that I broke down into tears. It was uncontrollable. I couldn't contain the flood of sobs that overtook me. I didn't care about the emergency service people, or the small crowd of people that had gathered to watch. I wanted to yell at the emergency service people milling around, and for not being able to do anything to save him. I wanted to yell at the onlookers for gawking at the seen, craning their necks for better looks at what had happened. I wanted to yell at God for taking him away from me. But I couldn't find the energy for any of it. The only thing I could do was hold myself, as sobs continued to rack my body uncontrollably. I rocked back and forth slowly on my knees trying to do anything to gain control. I wrapped my arms around my chest trying to hold back the tide of pain that just seemed to wash over me. I had never been with so many people and yet, felt so alone.
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Post by Friday on Nov 23, 2009 11:24:27 GMT -5
Eventually someone, I didn't see who it was, came and wrapped a blanket around my shoulders. I didn't realize how cold I was until it was around me, and I snatched at the material pulling it tight around me. It wasn't much, but it was enough to break me from my state of initial shock. I slowly but surely calmed down, and regained control of my breathing and the sobs lessened. I could feel myself shaking, but that I couldn't stop, and more than anything I was cold. And when the numbness came, I welcomed it. Welcomed the feeling of detachment that I could find at least for this brief moment. The sound of the sirens faded into the background, and the chatter of voices came to me like I was underwater or very far away, I stared with wide eyes out in front of me, but I wasn't seeing the hurrying of people all around me. I saw Dakota's face, that last look of fear.
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Post by Friday on Nov 23, 2009 11:24:59 GMT -5
~ Dakota looked down at the mangled body but didn't really see it. He knew he should be feeling some sort of pain from the way the body was positioned and from the blood that was everywhere, but instead he just felt an extreme sense of calm, of cool peacefulness. That was when he looked down at his hands, or more like through his hands. He furrowed his brows in confusion. And looked down at the rest of his body to find, that just like his hands he could see through his torso too. What is this? he thought looking around at the people rushing around. None of them had that same transparency to them, he couldn't see through any of them. That's when his eyes landed on Kasey. Kasey. And everything came back to him in a rush. The last kiss, the blue truck, and then a sense of nothing. He looked back down at the body on the ground and realized with a shock that it really was him. “I'm dead,” he said aloud, but none of the people around him seemed to hear him, or notice him at all for that matter. He reached up and scratched his head, and then brought his hand back done when he didn't feel anything. He experimentally took a step, and while he didn't pass through the ground, he did pass through other objects, and people without feeling a thing. Kasey. He turned and rushed to her, where she was kneeling on the ground, sobbing and shaking. “Oh, Kasey, I'm right here,” he said and reached out a hand to touch her cheek. Surprisingly, he actually felt her skin under his fingertips, and he pulled back his hand in surprise. That's when he really took a good look at her. Compared to everyone else, Kasey seemed to have a slight silvery haze about her that no one else did. He held out his own hand to examine it, and while it was a gray transparent color, he also had a silvery haze about him too. He reached out to caress her cheek excited that even if he couldn't touch anything else he could still touch her. His fingers were inches away from her skin when a voice stopped him. “Do not touch her.” Dakota turned to find the voice and was surprised to see an older woman, standing there. And unlike the live people, she too was gray transparent and cloaked in a silver glow. “Come with me Dakota. She isn't ready yet,” the woman said holding out a hand to him “Not ready?” Dakota questioned but still withdrew his hand from her face. “She doesn't know yet,” the woman said simply still holding out her hand. “Come, for there is much for you to learn.” Something about the woman compelled Dakota to listen to her and taking a few steps towards her, he held out his own hand and grasped hers in his. “Welcome to the Ghostland, Dakota.”
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Post by Friday on Nov 23, 2009 11:25:37 GMT -5
Chapter 8: Finding a Friend
I woke up Sunday morning with the worst headache I could ever remember having and very cold feet. I sat up and put one hand to my head, and the other reached for my phone to see if Dakota was awake yet. Dakota. That one thought stopped me dead cold, as yesterday's events rushed back to my in a flood. I put my head into both my hands and sat there, as I realized once again, that it all hadn't been a dream. That Dakota was really gone. “Oh God, Dakota,” I said to myself, and surprisingly the flood of tears I expected never came. Eventually my dad had picked me up from the wreck site after they had cleared Dakota's body away. How I got my dad's number I wasn't really sure. But I had been glad to see him. As soon as he had got there he had sat down next to me and wrapped me up in his arms like he had done when I was little. I had sat there in his arms and cried unable to say anything coherently enough to explain anything. He took care of everything. All the people asking me questions, or trying to ask me questions he got rid of easily, trying to spare me from them at the time. Then sometime after that he had taken me home, and as soon as I was there I had gone to bed, and cried myself to sleep. I knew I wasn't near out of tears, but I was glad that this morning at least they were holding off. I didn't even bother to check my phone like I would have most mornings. I just got up out of bed put on socks to warm up my cold feet, and then went to the bathroom to take Advil to try to get rid of mu headache. After that I just went straight back to my bed. I pulled the covers up over my head, and curled up in a ball on my side, and went back to sleep.
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Post by Friday on Nov 23, 2009 11:25:58 GMT -5
~ Sometime later, a knock on the door pulled me from my sleep, and I woke up groggily, thankful at least that my headache had diffused some. “Come in,” I called my voice hoarse, and my throat dry. The door opened a crack to reveal my dad, holding a bottle of water in one hand and a bowl of what I suspected was soup in the other. “How are you doing, Kasey May?” My dad asked as he handed me the water bottle and sat down on the edge of my bed and placed the soup on the bedside table. I looked at the water for a moment before I pulled the lid off and took a drink. “Ok I think,” I replied, hoping that I had chosen the right choice of words. I wasn't fine, and thinking about it, I doubted I ever would be ok again. I had lost Dakota, my love, my prince, the boy I wanted to give my life to, the boy that had my heart. My heart had died with him. No one would ever be able to take his place in my life. “Is there anything I can do?” my dad asked and I could hear the worry in his voice as well as see it in his eyes. I thought about it for a minute before I shook my head no. “I don't need anything,” I said. I don't need anything but Dakota, my head added. I pressed my eyes shut to try and hide back to tears that threatened to spill over at the thought. I was able to keep it in bay, but only because my dad was there. “Well, baby girl, if you need anything I'm here,” my dad said, and he patted me on the head, and then got up leaving my room. For which I was very thankful for.
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Post by Friday on Dec 8, 2009 11:43:34 GMT -5
As soon as the door swung shut behind him sat up leaning my back against the wall and I pulled my knees to my chest trying to hold myself together. The numb feeling that had creeped over me yesterday was gone, and it it's place was hurt. Hurt like I had never felt. I felt like half of me was missing, and in a way it was. I was never going to get Dakota back, and he had been my other half. I pressed my face into my knees to try and stop the flow of tears. The only time I seemed to feel better was when I was asleep. And I couldn't sleep forever, unless I joined Dakota. But I knew that Dakota wouldn't want that for me, and that was honestly the only thing that had kept me from running out into traffic when the accident had happened. There was a dull ache in my chest where my heart was, and I briefly wondered whether I had an emotional heart anymore. Sure, there was still the physical one that pumped blood through my body giving me life, but I doubted I would ever have a heart to love with again. No one could replace Dakota, when he died my heart went with him. I thought I was done crying but I could feel the burn behind my eyes, and the warmth of the tears on my cheeks as I cried silently. These tears were almost worse than the racking sobs that had overcome me the day before. They slid down my cheeks in a continuous waterfall, like the flood gates on a dam had been let open. I couldn't stop these silent tears, just like I had been helpless to stop the sobbing. My room seemed to get colder the longer I sat and cried, and by the time I stopped crying, I was shivering from the cold. I crawled under my comforter and sat there, with just my head poking out, and that helped a little bit. I thought of all the homework I had to do, for tomorrow, and my mind instantly seized upon it. I crawled out my my warm bed long enough to grab my back pack and laptop. And then I worked on my homework like my life depended on it. It was easy to focus on that, and not think of Dakota, it kept me from setting the living nightmare that had been the day before on repeat, living the scene over and over, trying to stop what I knew couldn't be stopped. The distraction of my homework worked. Worked so well in fact that I threw myself into the whole weeks homework. Too soon it seemed, I was done with calculus, and had written an essay that wasn't due until the next Friday. I had done everything I could think of to do by the time I let myself be done. It was only seven when I finished, but I didn't have anything else to do. My dad had come up to check on me another time, bringing more food, which again, I didn't touch. I just couldn't find the appetite to eat anything at all. And even though I had slept for longer than I could ever remember sleeping, I was tired. Not so much a sleepy tired, but the bone weary, emotional exhausted that settled into all my muscles and stayed there. So when I finished with my homework I went to bed, finding peace in the blissful oblivion of sleep.
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Post by Friday on Dec 12, 2009 19:45:49 GMT -5
~ The next morning when I woke up, I could've sworn I saw a puppy curled up at my feet on my bed, but when I blinked and rubbed my sleep groggy eyes, it was gone and I just dismissed it as a carry over from my dream. What I did remember of my dreams was a blur, but Dakota was there, and some woman that I didn't know. They had been talking, but I had been too far away to hear anything of what they said. There had been a puppy there too that had played at Dakota's feet, and I just figured it had been in a half awake that I had seen the puppy on my bed this morning. I got out of bed and walked to the bathroom. I looked at myself in the mirror and the girl I saw staring back at me was not the same girl that had been there two days ago. My face was pale, my eyes were swollen from crying, and my unbrushed hair was a tangled mess. I looked over to my bedside table where my alarm clocks glowing green numbers read six. I still had an hour before my alarm was supposed to go off, and two hours before I had to leave for school. So I did what I did everyday before school. I showered, got my stuff together, ate a piece of toast for breakfast, and made my lunch. Despite the fact that I had gotten up an hour earlier, I was slow and still left the house just before eight. I drove to school slowly, and as I pulled into the parking lot, I half expected to see Dakota's car sitting in it's normal spot. My chest tightened as I pulled in next to an empty spot. I turned off my car and I stared out into the sky that seemed to be too blue. My knuckles turned white has my hands gripped the steering wheel tight. A lump formed in my throat and I tried desperately to not cry. I jumped when I head a slight tap on the window, and I looked over to see Allen staring at me with the same haunted expression I had seen on my own face this morning. “Get out of the car Kasey,” he said, and I could hear him even through the closed window. I listened to him and before I could even get my door shut again, I Allen had me wrapped up in his arms, his face buried into my hair. “Oh God, Kasey, I'm so sorry. I know nothing I say can make a difference, but it makes me happy to see you today. Everyone has been asking about you, and you never answered your phone, and no one knows where you live. I was worried about you, and I know you might not have been here very long, but everyone was worried about you. You're not alone Kasey, we're all here for you. We all miss him,” Allen said into my ear, and I couldn't remember a time when he had ever said so much and been so serious. But one line he said echoed in my head. You're not alone. And in the first time since I had lost Dakota, I didn't feel alone. I wrapped my arms around Allen's waist and he pulled me tighter into his arms. And finally that numb feeling that had overcome was starting to recede away from me. “Kasey, we're here,” he restated and I took a deep breath, which was probably the first real breath I had taken since the accident. “You're ok Kasey,” Allen said and I knew he didn't need a response, I didn't know what to tell him. And I don't know how long we stood there like that with Allen just holding me. I was glad someone was though. It didn't seem like we had been there very long, when the bell to go to class rang. I pulled away enough so that I could look up to him. “Thank you,” I said quietly. “Just remember Kasey that we are here for you, now let's go,” he said and he reached down and took my hand in his. I didn't get offended I just wrapped my fingers around his hand and let him pull me away. He wasn't trying to take Dakota's place. He knew that, and I knew that. But I needed a hand to hold on to, something to keep me from losing control and Allen was doing that for me.
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Post by Friday on Jan 5, 2010 20:53:01 GMT -5
We both got looks as we walked down the hallway his hand in mine, me probably most of all. I could see their looks of sympathy and some even went out of their way to pat one of us on the shoulder, or mumble an apology as we passed. I didn't pay attention to any of it. I didn't notice when Allen ducked his head into the classroom, and told his teacher he would be staying with me. No one cared that he stayed with me all day, and we were even pulled into a group counseling session with everyone from our lunch group. Throughout the day I felt like I was being watched, and I literally was being watched by everyone. It was like everyone was watching for me to lose it, and break down, and not be ok. Had it not been for Allen, Rachel, and the rest of the group, I probably wouldn't have been able to make it through the day. All of my teachers were shocked when I turned in my homework done, and most even told me I didn't have to. But I had finished it all, and there was no point in me keeping it. The bell had just rang to go to the last class of the day and I stopped Allen before he could take me there. “I'm not going,”I told him, hoping that he wouldn't ask for an explanation. He looked back at me with a puzzled look, and then must have seen it in my face, and realization hit him. “Ok, we won't go,” Allen said and he threw and arm around my shoulder and let me outside into the huge courtyard that separated the main school from the athletic building. “Hey Kasey, I have to go run and talk to some people real fast, but I'll be right back I promise. Stay here?” I nodded and then he turned and ran off to the main building. I watched until he slipped inside the doors, and then I sat down on a bench that was nearby. It hadn't been as hard as I had thought it was going to be at school. But it would have been worse if Allen and everyone else hadn't been there to help me through it. “Hey, are you Kasey?” I starated when I heard the voice next to me. I was so preoccupied with my thoughts I hadn't noticed the girl come and sit next to me. She was tiny, and could barely pass for being a freshman, but since she was here on campus she had to be at least that. “Yeah,” I said hesitantly expecting her to be saying something about Dakota. “I'm Amy,” she said giving me a smile. And as I looked at her something seemed off. She seemed, brighter than the surroundings. “Hi?” I said making it more of a question than an actual greeting. I didn't know what to think of this girl. “I'm sorry about Dakota,” she said, “He is going to be ok.” I looked at her confusedly, “I'm sorry what did you say?” “Kasey, who are you talking to?” I whirled to face Allen who had come up on my other side. “This is -” I stopped my sentence short when I turned to look at the girl again and she was gone. I looked around the courtyard but she was nowhere to be seen and I know there was no way she could have gotten into a building that fast. “Are you ok Kasey?” Allen asked and I could hear the worry in his voice. I rubbed my eyes with my hand and the nodded. “Yeah I'm fine, just hearing things I guess,” I said still not really sure what had happened. “Ok,” Allen said, looking at me like I was losing my mind, and in all honesty, I probably was. “Is there anything you want to do?” “Actually, can we go see Dakota's family?” I asked looking up at him from my spot on the bench. I saw a flash of something in his eyes, and what it was I didn't know. It was a mix between sadness and relief. “Yeah, I didn't want to tell you earlier, but they've been asking about you too. I want to say they talked to your dad. They tried to call you but your phone was off,” he said and offered me a hand up.
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